"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???" *quack*
Chances are you’ve probably already been buried by the news and Tweets that Chip Kelly is leaving the Oregon Ducks, despite previous claims that he would be staying with the program. Because I didn’t see any other reporters freaking out about this on Twitter, I believe that ESPN’s Chris Mortensen broke the news earlier this afternoon.
Chip Kelly is the new coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, according to league sources. No announcement yet.
— Chris Mortensen (@mortreport) January 16, 2013
Of course, the Philadelphia Eagles fans that I know well – those who have lived through so many years of anger and rage – are taking this hire with a grain of salt, because who the hell knows what to expect from college coaches who make the jump to the NFL anymore? Sure, Jim Harbaugh has done wonders with the San Francisco 49ers, but to that I simply retort, NICK SABAN NICK SABAN NICK SABAN.
But if Saban has taught us anything, it’s that Oregon fans shouldn’t be too shocked by this announcement. Coaches are dirty, rotten liars and the sooner that we accept this into our lives, the sooner we can all recover from their treacherous deceits. For the fun of it, though, I’d like to share how I imagine the typical Ducks fans’ day went down with some help from the delightful Ralph Wiggum.
