WA!

I’m not sure I have a favorite part of this Chinese ad for Mini Oreos. I’ve narrowed it down to three things:

1. Yao Ming needing a moment to process the fact that a child has tricked him, then mumble-laughing about it.
2. The idea that Yao could probably throw that kid in the air and eat him like a Mini Oreo.
3. The weird sexual tension at the end. I think it’s the music.

Seriously though, why are you cradling his head like that? Is Ming so tall and awkward that the only way he can hear and talk to you is by wrapping his tendrils around you and getting right in your face? His hand scooping up from the background like that makes the kid’s head look like something from Star Wars.

[video via D Wizzle's World]

Chinese student Zhang Heng and some friends decided that they wanted to celebrate their recent graduation with a 1,833-kilometer (or roughly 1,136 miles if you’re normal) bike ride from the city of Kangding in the Sichuan province to Lhasa, Tibet. And why wouldn’t they? It’s not like there are any jobs waiting for them. *high fives recent state college grad sleeping in a dumpster*

But a funny thing happened on the way to Lhasa. Heng and friends were cruising through a town when he spotted a dog passed out in the street, so he did the cool thing and stopped to feed it and make sure it was okay. Not only did Xiao Sa or “Little Sa” appreciate the meal and the kindness, but she pledged her eternal faith to her new human friends and joined them on their one-month journey. On paw, pretty much the whole way.

Xiao Sa really wanted to accompany them on their trip, and she showed incredible determination over the 20 days she ran alongside her new-found friends, all the way to Lhasa, Tibet. She traveled a total of 1,138 miles, climbed ten mountains over 4,000 meters high, and ran on uphill sections where many bikers prefer to take the bus. The only portion of the journey where Xiao Sa didn’t have to run was on a steep slope in Litang, where downhill speeds reach 70 km per hour, which made it impossible to catch up. So the cyclists made a cage for her and gave Sa a ride to the bottom, where she resumed her journey on foot. (Via Oddity Central)

F*ck. Yes. These are the stories that I kick the hookers out of bed for to do this job each day. And before Little Sa becomes too big of a star for us, here’s a news report of her amazing story complete with footage of her run. Go hug your dogs, please.

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There is no way he can still jump that high. (via Footbasket)

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30 Actors Playing With Themselves (Action Figures Of Themselves, We Mean) |Gamma Squad|

Six Seasons And We Love You Dan Harmon: The Internet Reacts To Dan Harmon’s Firing |UPROXX|

Stephen A. Smith Just Realized What’s So Hilarious About Stephen A. Smith |With Leather|

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For Pete’s Sake: 7 More Songs That Used The Same Samples As Pete Rock |Smoking Section|

8-Bit Renditions Of Radiohead’s Two Best Albums Are Not A Let Down |UPROXX|

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Kobe Bryant, The Lakers And The $58M Question: What’s Next? |Smoking Section|

Meryl Streep doesn’t watch “comic-strip movies” (bonus: awesome photoshop) |Film Drunk|

Fake Or Not, Pepsi’s Kyrie Irving Video Has Introduced A New Superstar |With Leather|

Original Star Trek Cast Meets Current Cast |Gamma Squad|

This 10 Year Old Really Hates the Kardashians |Warming Glow|

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For longer than I’ve lived in Central Florida, there’s been this quiet optimism that there could one day be a Summer Olympics right in Mickey Mouse’s back yard. There have been plenty of proposed ideas of how it could happen – from using Disney’s seemingly endless property on a loaner to a joint venture between Orlando and Tampa with facilities all along Interstate 4 – and none of them would ever work in a million years. But every time the International Olympics Committee meets to choose future summer sites, people in Florida start buzzing.

And the point of this edition of “Cool story, bro” is that hosting the Olympic games is severely overrated because cities just don’t make any money anymore. Back in 2010, city officials in Chicago spent $50 million just to bid on hosting the Olympics in 2016. Had their bid been accepted, Chicagoans would have been on the hook for $5 billion in up front expenses. Luckily, the bid wasn’t accepted, as Chicago didn’t even make it past the first round, so *flush noise* to that $50 million.

Not everything is doom and gloom, though. Atlanta proved that there is life after the Olympics by turning all of its event venues into state-of-the-art facilities for the city’s current sports teams – the Olympic Stadium is Turner Field, for example. Perhaps it would have been nice if someone had sent that blueprint to the folks in Beijing, as some people recently asked the question, “Hey, what happened to all of those venues the Chinese constructed to host the 2008 Summer Olympics and cost the country an absurd, record-setting $48 billion?”

Oh, they’re just chilling. Presumably holding a ton of brand new wigs.

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With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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We don’t often get to talk about art around these parts, and that’s a shame, because I like to fancy myself one classy son of a female dog. After all, I’ve used the bathroom at the Louvre. And speaking of bathrooms and art, a Taiwanese art student recently answered the age old question: “Is urinating considered art?” The answer? You bet your golden showers it is.

While going to the bathroom one day, Wong Tin Chuen noticed some blood in his urine. While that would make me scream like a battered child, Cheun thought to himself, “Hey, that looks a little like Iron Man’s helmet!” So did Cheun go to the hospital to have his abdominal pains, dehydration and bloody urine examined? Of course not. He went shopping for a new toilet.

He took about two months to find a toilet bowl with a similar oblong shape to the outline of Iron Man’s face. Then he was eating edible pigmentation and successfully produced red, black and green urine. He arranged the colored urine to make it look like the character, and used his saliva to create foam for touching up. He needed to keep adding spit to his work while waiting for the judges to get to him during the contest. And of course, his artwork had produced a foul odor at the exhibition. (M.I.C. Gadget via a delightful attempt by Google to translate the China Times)

“Why on Earth would he do this,” asked every sane person who doesn’t possess a predilection to play with his own urine. Because Cheun won $400,000 for his new “blood urine” art…

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