Alleged statutory rapist and former cocaine lover incredibly scary, New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor plead ‘not guilty’ to third degree charges of rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse, and endangering a child earlier today. The most serious offense is, of course, patronizing a prostitute. They don’t deserve to be talked down to, even if they aren’t real people.

Lawrence Taylor appeared in court today and entered a plea of not guilty to third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse and endangering a child.

As we noted this morning, the not guilty plea came as no surprise, as lawyer Arthur Aidala had already said publicly that Taylor will fight the charges, and claims he did not have sex with the 16-year-old girl in question. –PFT

Of course he wasn’t going to have sex with that 16 year old girl. L.T. was merely trying to inform her of the damages that come with prostituting such a young, supple, body at such a deliciously rape ripe age. And if that’s a crime, Your Honor, then I have nothing left to say. Read the rest of this entry »

Pro Football Hall-of-Famer, former “Dancing With The Stars” contestant and New York Giants legend Lawrence Taylor is now in the custody of the Ramapo (NY) Police Department earlier this morning. He must have been acting like a bunch of crazed dogs.

The 51-year-old former New York Giants linebacker was taken into custody by Ramapo police at the Holiday Inn off Airmont Road, Ramapo Police Detective Lt. Brad Weidel said

Taylor was being held in the town police lockup pending arraignment in Ramapo Justice Court this afternoon. He is being charged with third-degree rape, a charge that involves having intercourse with a minor.

Oh, just statutory rape? That doesn’t seem as bad as it sounds.

The victim was reportedly beaten during the attack.[..]

“She was a runaway since March and there was a pimp involved,” [a spokesman for RPD] said. “She got punched in the face. We’re not sure who did it.” –LoHud.

Oh that’s bad. And the girl was only 15 16. A lot of news of violence against women is coming out right now. Please, somebody get a DUI so we can finally shift away from being concerned about the ills of society. It’s making my head hurt. This would be tugging at my heartstrings if I actually had a heart.

I've actually been to a professional beach volleyball tournament and there were hundreds of bikini-clad hotties, but AVP (Beach Volleyball's Professional League) obviously thought the scene needed 5 more talented and lovely girls:

Uh, their talents would be more apparent without all that annoying singing and dancing. More Beach Girlz (nothing says attitude like an unnecessary 'z') and fake Australian accents after the jump . . .

"Dancing in the sand is harder than singing and dancing at the same time."? Hmm, remind me not to ask that girl to participate in a threesome. -KD

SPORTSbyBROOKS picked up on this peculiar string of headlines on KXMB's (Bismarck) website.  289 added the fun little Photoshop, and I added the chick with the really cool tattoo because, well, I don't have a particularly good reason for that.  It's mostly just a discussion point.  Like, what do you do when you find out the girl you thought was hot has a Red Sox tramp stamp?  Is it technically wrong to punch her in the face?

By the way, if the World Cup of Baseball ever allows international organizations to compete in the tournament, there had better be a team called the Al Qaeda Rape Sox.