“I’m not ashamed to say I’m a Christian, but unicorns are kick ass.”

Links

Rick Perry’s Unpopular Opinions - He might not be ashamed to say he’s a Christian, but I am. “My Pokémon team is all zubats” made me laugh out loud, though. [Buzzfeed]

NBA Laboratory: Givin’ Kobe Bryant The Business - I’m seriously considering buying a Robert Awful LA Lakers jersey after watching this video. Talk about team loyalty! [SB Nation]

Alec Baldwin: America’s #1 Terrorist - The new best part of being famous is that if you’re thrown off a plane for being too fat or playing Words With Friends when the flight attendant has told you to shut off your electronic stuff, you can go on Twitter and bitch and everyone takes your side. SHUT DOWN YOUR STUPID PHONE ALEC BALDWIN [Warming Glow]

Video Of The Day: Mike Tyson Quote Song - We’re never gonna stop thinking this invalid rapist is hilarious, are we? Oh well, at least his video game was the best. [Cage Potato]

Your Up-To-The-Second Playoff Picture Updated ‘Round The clock With Newer, Cheaper Jokes - The title says it all. “Who are the Texans” jokes almost make me mad now, but I’ve been a Texans fan for like forty minutes, so what the hell can I even say? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Funny, Sexy And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - Holy crap, anthropomorphic Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony #cangetit SO HARD. [Gamma Squad]

Limp Bizkit Got Dropped From Their Record Label - This time they’re gonna let it all come out. This time they’re gonna stand up and shout. They’ll do things their way. Their way. Their way of the highway. [Film Drunk]

Cast Of Community Begs You All To Save Greendale - Don’t let this beautiful cadre of people leave my life, even if Donald Glover is now officially a rapper and Alison Brie is going to show up on a much better show sometime early next year. [UPROXX]

Today’s Cutest Kid Is This Rapping Two-Year Old - He’s not as good as Childish Gambino, but he’s better than Fred Durst. [Smoking Section]

JoshiMania Night One: Death Queen Battle - Pictures and happenings from a show I would’ve killed to attend, and almost did like 14 different times. If they’d brought over Miyako Matsumoto, I don’t know, I probably would’ve sold my car to finance a trip. [DirtyDirtySheets]

This is almost as good as the Sears Bed Intruder commercial.

Links

Black Friday - Jon Bois reflects on his time spent Shacking Radios on Black Friday. I was there for at least one of them. [JonBoisDotCom]

Good Gosh Almighty Joe Friday - The pro sports version of Gimme A Thumbs Up ‘Er Somethin’ Hot Rod. I’m going to try to talk like this every day. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Like Crazy Is The Movie 500 Days Of Summer Wanted To Be - That’s (500) Days Of Summer, thank you very much, and unless Like Crazy is an attempt to get me to love Zooey Deschanel with a Regina Spektor soundtrack, I’ll have to respectfully disagree. [Film Drunk]

Funny, Sexy And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - …is won in a walk by the racially nonspecific Mortal Kombat girls. Hello, nurse. [Gamma Squad]

Politicians Are Horrible Late Night Guests - They are. If I had Michelle Bachmann on my talk show I’d intro her with WWE’s “Ass Man”. [Warming Glow]

Self Pop-Tart - Either the best or worst idea in the history of the Internet. I’m going to take one of these as soon as I figure out the logistics. [UPROXX]

CagePotato Ban: MMA Fans Fist-Posing for Photos With Fighters Et Al. - This guy doesn’t understand Worker Fist, or he’s never seen Rocky Balboa. So either he’s being a jerk, or I’ve got 200 pictures of me looking like an asshole with wrestlers. [Cage Potato]

Grantland Network Podcast: The Masked Man on the WWE Survivor Series - And speaking of me making Worker First, if you haven’t gone over to Grantland and listened to my appearance on Shoemaker’s podcast, do that now, and make sure to hassle him about how awesome I am and how he should always have me on. [Grantland]

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 29: John Hyperion II (The JoshiMania Episode) - More podcasts about wrestling. This one is about a niche concept show in a niche independent wrestling company on their offseason held like two weeks before Christmas. I don’t know, but I seriously almost buy a plane ticket every day. [The Wrestling Blog]

A Softer Worldmap - Here’s an old thing I used to do nobody liked. I’m forcing it on you. Sh*t, I still think it’s funny. [Progressive Boink]

Vanessa Hudgens Is The Best Lakers Fan Ever - And hey, be sure to get back into the groove of reading us, because we give you stuff like this. And this stuff is pretty good. [Brandon's Olde Fashioned Websight]

Pre-show notes:

- If you love The Rock and think he’s the best wrestler of all time, be sure to leave us a comment. That should cover my commenting hype-beg for the week and entitle every living human who isn’t me or Billy Jack Haynes to post something.

- An important thing to remember while reading this report is that I had a weekend literally full of awesome wrestling. I spent Friday night and Saturday and Sunday mornings at Wizard World Austin loitering around Darin Childs’ table in the 1600 aisle, commissioning professional art from my favorite wrestler in the world. Saturday night I went to Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s Lone Star Classic, which featured Portia Perez winning their heavyweight title only to lose it an hour later. ACH ended up with it, which was the second happiest thing that could happen. Also, the Nasty Boys were there. Sunday was CHIKARA’s High Noon iPPV. I was too worn out by then to cover it effectively, but it was one of the best shows of the year and Peck/Cabana II was simultaneously the best and worst match in history. So then Monday night comes along, and it’s three hours of Raw getting Rocked. My brain may not be processing this correctly.

- Oh, and before I forget, after the jump you can see four of my five (or six) favorite WWE Superstars appearing in one segment together on Friday’s Smackdown. Why am I not Besting and Worsting this show instead?

Read the rest of this entry »

As the guy in charge of the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column I’ve built up a little Internet street cred, all of which I’d like to use now; if you’ve ever trusted my opinions on the world of pro wrestling, order this Sunday’s CHIKARA pro wrestling’s “High Noon” Internet pay-per-view. I’m not posting this because I’ve been paid or asked to, I’m posting because I sincerely believe that this company of crazy little guys in masks is one of the best things we’ve got going on in the putrid, niche world we’ve decided to love and think you’d love it, and that they need to be supported.

Here’s the quick version: you watch it live as it happens on your computer and it only costs you $14.99 for (give or take) three hours and 45 minutes of wrestling. The upside is that every one of those 230ish minutes is better than what you might’ve paid 50 dollars to see one of three times from WWE this month. Remember, this is coming from a guy who finds something to like on even the worst episodes of Raw.

I didn’t like CHIKARA a few years ago. I thought it was stupid. People kept telling me, “watch CHIKARA, they blew a guy up with a fake grenade, watch CHIKARA, they’ve got a guy named Dragon Dragon who is literally a dragon, watch CHIKARA, you’ll love this match”. I resisted. A couple of years ago I found myself in Philadelphia and attended a show (Aniversario Yang, if you’re keeping score) and it hooked the sh*t out of me. Since then I’ve driven hours and bought plane tickets from Texas to see CHIKARA shows, shows that might be happening down the street from you, because of how I’ve come to understand it and how much they’ve given me back. They’ve given me a lot.

Don’t just think it’s funny stuff in masks. The wrestling has gotten better and better and has started feeling like that “great” you forget about watching TV. They’ve also got Eddie Kingston, and if you don’t know how Eddie Kingston is, let me share with you hands down the best pro wrestling promo of 2011.

Read the rest of this entry »

Links

Shaq Talks About The Moment The Lakers Dynasty Died - Stupid Deadspin, always getting the exclusives. The only review copy of a book I ever got was a hardcover about Derek Jeter, and I can’t really make a news post with “Derek Jeter is great and everyone thinks so” blurbs. [Smoking Section]

4 Science Fiction Series Netflix Should Bring Back - I don’t really care about ‘Reaper’, but bringing back the other three would be great, especially Justice League. That show was secretly the best thing on TV for like three years. [Gamma Squad]

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels: Behind One of WWE’s Greatest Rivalries - The Masked Man reviews the latest WWE DVD and makes 100% fewer “we’re gonna get hungry and leave no man untested” jokes than I would’ve. Don’t ever let me write for Grantland. [Grantland]

Our Favorite TV-Related Halloween Costumes from Walking Around NYC - I wish I’d thought to do this for Austin, but I wouldn’t be able to stomach all the “hipster” comments. I saw one guy dressed as “think outside the box” and he was just wearing a box, no lie. [Warming Glow]

Someone Shouted “Where’s Bumblebee Now?” While Shia Was Getting Beat Up - It would’ve been better if Shia himself had yelled BUMBLEBEEEAHHHH while getting beaten up, but I’ll take it. What a Disturbia-ing situation! [Film Drunk]

Bill Murray Fan Art: A Sneak Preview Of Gallery1988′s ‘Please Post Bills’ Exhibit - If anybody deserves fan art, it’s him. [UPROXX]

The Last Words of 25 Geniuses - I hope my last words are “I’ll get you next time, Gadget” and possibly “yeaaarghhhh”. [Buzzfeed]

Heck Yeah, CHIKARA! - My new favorite independent wrestling Tumblr, pending at least two more Archibald Peck gifs per week. [Tumblr]

Plugin Allows You To “De-Kardashian” Your Browser - Great, there go our pageviews! [The FW]

Top 10 Lil Wayne Songs - I like the one where he mumbles and it sounds like he wrote it in 20 seconds before the music started. You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook! [PopCrush]

5 Easy Ways to Fix ’2 Broke Girls’ - “Take off Kat Dennings’ shirt” had better be on here somewhere. [AOL TV]

Six Influential Dead Guys I’d Like to Have Dinner With - My list would include Buck O’Neil and Jesus, just to see how Buck reacts, and to see which one I like more. [Unreality]

God’s Eye View: The Supercut - Now somebody do a Dog’s Eye View Supercut where it’s clips from every Dog’s Eye View video. [High Definite]

KANA, Sara Del Rey, and my heart somewhere in the middle.

Links

The Wrestling Podcast: Brandon Stroud II - In my second TWP appearance I talk WWE walkout stats, compare Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s ACH to Childish Gambino, discuss how and why we hate Brian Wilson and talk up the importance of fat guys in pro graps. Also, I love those women in the header, and you can sorta tell. [The Wrestling Blog]

Childish Gambino – “All The Shine” - Speaking of, I am excited for “Camp”, and you don’t have to explain the French cinema references. [The Smoking Section]

Remedial Chaos Theory - Speaking of speaking of, last night’s episode of ‘Community’ was incredible, so if you missed it, watch it here. Six times. [NBC]

Surprise, Guy Fieri Is A Total Dick - In the least shocking news of the year, America’s Worst Food Person is anti-Semitic and scared of gay people. I guess the spiked blonde hair and the sunglasses and the bowling shirts and the chain wallets and the throwing up of horns weren’t good enough indicators. [Warming Glow]

Who Voltron’d It Better? - Voltron is one of those things I always hoped would still be available when I became a hot shot movie director. That doesn’t seem to be working out for me, but … uh, anybody on the UPROXX network secretly VP at Sony or something? [Gamma Squad]

The New Muppets Trailer Makes Me Happy - …even if they’ve got to add a bunch of farts to get 2011′s kids to see it. Puppet Dracula from Forgetting Sarah Marshall had better make a cameo in this somewhere. [Filmdrunk]

The 10 Finest Pop Culture Charts From Dan Meth’s Pop Culture Charts Series - That “Trilogy Meter” is so wrong I can’t even begin to explain it. Jurassic Park is only about as good as the original X-Men? Are you on drugs? [UPROXX]

Hot Potato Gallery: Model/Grappler Monique Minton - When I grow up, I want to be a “model/grapper”. [Cage Potato]

Sports Cards For Insane People: Fleer Pro-Visions - Yeah, not going to pretend I have any f**king idea what the hell is going on on these cards. [SBN]

Sean Taylor Memorial Meast Of The Week/Jeff George Memorial least Of The Week: Week 5 - Easily the best photoshop ever added to the top of an UPROXX Network post. Everything that happens in the NFL should relate to Super Mario Kart in some way. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]