So, here’s everything you need to know: Porn aficionado, Tim Tebow f**ker and New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski went out dancing at a Las Vegas nightclub. Because he’s Rob Gronkowski, he took off his shirt and acted weird. Because TMZ is TMZ, they filmed the entire thing, posted it online and littered it with ellipses and CAPITAL LETTERS of JUDGMENT~.
Near the end of the clip, Gronk stops dancing in favor of grabbing his friend by the waist and trying to gutwrench suplex him (or something). Here’s the video, with proper analysis to follow.
Professional wrestling at a Minor League Baseball ballpark, right as the Minor League season is ending and wrestling enters that weird lull period between the summer and WrestleMania? This is relevant to my interests.
In an event I probably care about more than anybody in the world, Pennsylvania-based promotion Chikara pro wrestling took a trip to FirstEnergy Stadium, home of the Double-A Reading Phillies, for a charity event benefitting Baseballtown Charities. The R-Phills are no stranger to wacky happenstance at the park, and this is no exception. It happened last month, but indescribably-talented Zia Hiltey shared pictures from the event on her page Zia Shoots Wrestling and I felt compelled to pass them along. Two major reasons:
1. I get way sadder for the Minor League season ending than the Major Leagues, because the MLB off-season is full of speculations and winter talks and more or less the same amount of baseball news. When the Minor League season ends, the Screwball costume just sits in a shed somewhere until summer comes around again.
2. Chikara’s biggest event of the year, King Of Trios, is happening this weekend. I’ll be there along with Destiny and over 20 With Leather commenters for a loosely-organized picnic thing before the Sunday show, so if you’re anywhere near the Easton, PA, area, get down to these shows and have some three bean salad with us, or whatever.
If you don’t like wrestling at all, trust me, you’ll still love the ridiculousness of these photos. Wrestling ants! Guys dressed like ice cream! With Spandex podcast guest Icarus getting a swirlie! MARTY JANNETTY!
One of the best part of our popular The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column is the amazing collection of animated GIFs from Casey at Hammerlock Dialectic. They’re so good, in fact, that I’m sad when people who don’t read the column (or like pro wrestling) miss out on them. Trust me, there is some colossally ridiculous looking stuff happening in the world of pro wrestling and you don’t need the ability to pretend it’s real to appreciate it.
Combine that truth with what Jon Bois is doing to improve GIF art awareness at SB Nation and a “best wrestling gifs of the month” feature sounded like a no-brainer. So here are my 21 favorite animated GIFs from the world of pro wrestling for June, keeping in mind that:
1. The July 4 weekend messed up everybody’s schedule, so go along with me and pretend June just ended. 2. So far we only do a WWE column on the site, so June’s GIFs will be WWE heavy. With GIFs Of The Month becoming a regular feature, we’ll move forward with more of an emphasis on giffing everything that happens in the world of wrestling, and oh my god you are not ready for Japan. 3. A lot of GIFs appeared in the Raw column, but a lot of them are being seen for the first time. 4. We’ll try to get a more uniform GIF size in the future.
Anyway, enough qualifiers. Check out the 20 best pro wrestling GIFs for June, with little-to-no context provided.
It was a real Tanner Family Fun Day at U.S. Cellular Field on Saturday — the Chicago White Sox defeated the Cleveland Indians 14-7, and television’s Bob Saget sang the Star-Spangled Banner. You may remember Bob from such creative endeavors as ‘Full House’, ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ and spending the last 20 years trying to convince people he wasn’t the Danny Tanner motherf**ker who headlined both.
Bob did an admirable job with Our National Anthem (and on Memorial Day, I wouldn’t want to share it with you if he hadn’t), but the best part of the video is Saget being announced as “stand-up comedian, director, actor AND singer”. They left off “former CHIKARA pro wrestling commissioner”. Also, singer? If they’re advertising him as a singer he should’ve gotten up and done this in its entirety:
Louis C.K’s New, New Testament: 20 Commandments to Live By - “When girls go wild, they show their tits to people. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.” [Warming Glow]
ROFLMNBAO: Kobe’s Black Mask, 2012-2012 - If you missed yesterday’s feature, you missed out on Kobe as the Hamburglar. That’s not a thing you should be missing. [With Leather]
Topher Grace (Yes, That Topher Grace) Just Vastly Improved The Star Wars Prequels - The best part of this is knowing that no matter how complex a nerd might be, he’s still got the guy with glasses in this video to make him look bad. [Gamma Squad]
Dear David Stern, Stare Downs Aren’t Worth Techs - They should start giving technical fouls for “being excited” and make everyone play with their arms down to their sides. [Smoking Section]
What The Hell Is All This ‘#Kony2012′ Crap About? - It’s a viral ad campaign to get my teenage cousin super into defending the planet against monsters, at least until next week when she forgets she learned about it. [UPROXX]
Elderly Viral Phenom Completely Flummoxed By Her Sudden Internet Fame - I read about this lady. Columns were made available to suit my pleasure. It enjoyed them. They were great and nice. [UPROXX]
‘Lone Ranger’ First Look: Johnny Depp Is Wearing A Birdhat - Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are in some kind of contest to see which one can be declared a minority first, aren’t they? [Film Drunk]
Matches We Loved 2011: Part II - If you read part one, THIS one actually features me. My match features wardrobe malfunctions, but not the ones you’re imagining. [DirtyDirtySheets]
Coors Is Going To Start Making Iced Tea Flavored Beer - Great, another disgusting thing for me to not drink! [Buzzfeed]
Rush Limbaugh vs. Inspirational Feminist Quotes - The next time anyone (“right” or “left”) says something inflammatory to get publicity, we should say, “whatever, you’re paid by people to be inflammatory and get publicity, we’re ignoring you”, put them in a box, ship them to Siberia and move the hell on. [HuffPost Comedy]
10 Weirdest ‘Animals Eating Themselves’ Pictures Ever - Nothing makes that pork chop taste better than imagining the pig happily slaughtering itself! [The FW]
Ten Actors We Wish Were More Talented Than They Are - This list really does begin and end with Alexis Bledel. I’d also put Aly Michalka on here, because ‘Phil of the Future’ was great. [Pajiba]
Our 10 Favorite Adam Sandler Leading Ladies in Movies - #1-10: Jill. #11, whoever was in Little Nicky. [Unreality]
On The Saints, NFL Bounties And Finally Being Treated Like Regular Human Beings - I don’t know why everyone’s so upset about these NFL Bounties, I think having paper towels with Saints logos on them is awesome! *bicycle horn honk* [Smoking Section]
Gregg Williams Has Complex Homophobia - “AIDS Convention” is almost as ridiculous as “the jerk store”, but it sells more jerks. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Matches We Loved 2011: Part II - The #ddslove continues, and I’m actually in this one! Watch the clip of the match I picked to see someone kick so hard their kickpad flies off. [DirtyDirtySheets]
The Best Of ‘Community’s’ #Abed - Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool. [UPROXX]
The First Ten Minutes Of John Carter Are Kind Of Impressive - I kept expecting Bryan Cranston to roll over, grimace at the camera and yell “nobody’s in the theater, John!” [Gamma Squad]
Project X kid was in a Bang Bus movie - Living the dream. I can’t wait until my UPROXX bosses find out about the time I Pornhubbed Allie Sin. [Film Drunk]
Discussion and Poll: Has ‘The Walking Dead’ Earned Back Your Trust? - “And furthermore, what do you guys think about season 4 of Heroes?” [Warming Glow]
Christina Hendricks & Olivia Munn Are The Latest Celebs To Have Their Cell Phone Pics Surface On The Internet - Proud of myself for getting up a link to this story yesterday before anyone else on the network. Also, disappointed in myself for being so into celebrity nudity. [UPROXX]
25 People Who Think President Obama Killed Andrew Breitbart - “Colledge” says everything you need to know about these people. Obama’s the reason for these tornadoes breaking out, too. He has an evil tornado machine. [Buzzfeed]
The Live News Sexual Innuendo Supercut - Nudes at eleven. Er, I mean “news”! Heh! [HuffPost Comedy]
Watch Britney Spears’ Changing Face Through the Years - “Watch how stress, drugs and eating disorders make you look like a 50 year old women by the time you turn 28.” [The FW]
Five Brilliant Graphic Novels that Just Happen to Star Talking Animals - Real talk: We3 is right behind Watchmen as my favorite comic ever. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and find it immediately. [Unreality]