First the sort-of-good news: Kim Kardashian and her cackling harpy sisters were informed by at least three exclusive neighborhoods in Miami over the past few weeks that they had no chance in hell of moving in for the filming of their next season of E!’s Kardashian Apocalypse, or whatever it’s called. But then, the bad news is that a neighborhood finally accepted them and they’re already making Miami an even less desirable place to live.

The interesting thing about that is that it means Khloe Kardashian-Odom will be all the way across the country from her husband and Los Angeles Clippers forward, Lamar Odom. Gee, I wonder if that will lead to any rumors about their relationship.

Khloe Kardashian was probably shocked to learn that she is the focus of a magazine cover story this week that claims her husband has visited a divorce lawyer to get out of the marriage while keeping his $67 million fortune. Khloe is now speaking out on the story, according to a new “Hollywood Life” report released on Oct. 17, and she is denying that her husband visited a divorce lawyer. (Via Examiner, which really loves using “In fact”)

Khlomar actually won’t be that far apart, as the Kris Jenner daughter that probably didn’t come from Robert Kardashian has signed on to judge The X Factor, because she obviously knows when someone is not talented. But that kind of reasoning won’t sell ad space, and it also won’t provide good drama for the Kardashians’ ridiculously scripted show.

So let’s turn up the rumor mill a little more with our very first edition of With Leather’s new gossip magazine, “On the Rag”. Check out this week’s cover after the jump…

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With the 2012 Summer Olympics wrapped up and the NFL season still a few weeks away, the standard summer sports boredom that we all suffer has been lessened to some extent – unless you like baseball and America. But slow news day and all, I’ve been a little distracted by this video that was Tweeted out by comedienne Jenny Johnson over the weekend. It appears that Kim Kardashian isn’t the only talentless woman in her family with dreams of pop music superstardom based on the low expectations and poor taste of this great country.

At some point in the 1980s, the Kardashian matriarch, Kris Jenner, decided to give singing a try in a video that she recorded to honor of all her famous friends. It was basically a VHS lesson in name-dropping. And right there in the middle of the whole, terrifying butchering of a Randy Newman classic is O.J. Simpson, the reason that we even have these wretched fame leeches in the first place.

As always, I watched it, so you get to watch it now. Fair is fair, friends.

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"It's a bro? Hey tiny dog bro, I'm having a son bro!"

It’s pretty amusing that celebrities think they can keep secrets, what with that whole Internet thing combined with nobody being able to shut up, but bless their hearts, Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and his fiancée Kristin Cavallari didn’t want to announce the sex of their expected child. But Bears WR Earl Bennett sucks at keeping secrets, so he went ahead and told everyone that J-Cutty is having a boy.

Somewhere, Brian Urlacher shrugged and said, “Whatever, there’ll be plenty of other girls to date in 2029.”

“He’s having a boy,” Bennett, 25, said on the Boers & Bernstein sports radio show in Chicago Tuesday. “I am excited for Jay. It’s a great time.”

“I think every guy wants a guy to carry on the name,” the former reality star told Glamoholic in March. “But he doesn’t care. I just want to have a healthy baby.” (Via People)

I love that quote, just because I can see the doctor saying, “Jay and Kristin, I have the results of your sonogram. Would you like to know your baby’s sex?” and Cutler responding, “Whatevs.”

I have no clue when the baby is expected, because nobody knows when J-Cutty completed the most important pass of his life, but it’s nice to see that K-Cavs isn’t blowing up like Jessica Simpson, who just had her child (Maxwell Drew Johnson… that’s a girl, mind you) with former San Francisco 49ers and New Orleans Saints TE Eric Johnson. In fact, I have a picture from Simpson’s delivery…

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Deion Sanders and his second wife, Pilar, have had a very well-documented, nasty public battle going ever since they filed for divorce in September of last year. Pilar has accused Deion of being a narcissistic bully, among other things, claiming that the man who once called himself Primetime and wore more gold than Mr. T craved constant attention and demanded regular self-assurance, not only from his wife, but the multiple alleged mistresses that he had during their marriage.

Deion, on the other hand, has tried to maintain the image of a man who cares first and foremost about a stable family life and a sense of well-being for his three children with Pilar – Shilo, Shedeur and Shelomi – and apparently there’s no better way to support normalcy than having your kids fill out police reports and then post a picture of it on Twitter.

As you can see above, Deion and his kids filled out police reports against Pilar yesterday after she and a friend allegedly attacked Deion in his bedroom as the kids were watching TV. And because Twitter has always been known as a medium of truth and justice, Deion openly spoke of the assault to his Tweeps:

I guess each man is entitled to respond to his own divorce and, in this case, alleged domestic assault however he sees fit, so if Deion wants to broadcast his battles on Twitter, more power to him. I just love when Deion is in the news, because then I can share my favorite story about him – Carlton Fisk calling him a “piece of sh*t” – and probably the most unintentionally hilarious video of all-time…

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The New York Post took its loyal readers on a trip into the home and minds of New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony and his wife La La – *eye roll* – and the most revealing tidbit of information was that they have a giant portrait of Carmelo (above) hanging over their fireplace. And it’s not exactly shocking that a multimillionaire superstar athlete would have a huge portrait of himself in his own home, but if you’ve ever followed the gossip about his wife, you’d probably expect a few more portraits of La La.

But according to Melo’s better half, the interior design duties are actually performed by the primary money-maker himself.

How much input has Carmelo had in the design of your home or did you manage the project yourself?

Believe it or not, he has more input and gets more involved than I do. He was really into working with the decorator, Alicia Darby, who also decorated our home in LA.

Man, if that quote doesn’t open the door for a ton of jokes, then I don’t know anything about comedy anymore. Regardless of the humor of a man possibly cheating on his wife with his decorator, I just can’t get past the arrogance of self-celebration. I guess you could argue that the painting may have been a gift from a famous artist, or maybe La La painted it herself – she didn’t – but chances are Carmelo just paid someone to paint it and he was like, “Yeah, that’s going over my fireplace.”

It doesn’t matter what the actual reason is, because a lot of people are just going to look at this and think, “The ego on this guy.” So I want to help Carmelo with my own interior design skills by offering him some awesome alternative portraits that he can hang instead. Most of these are already in the Louvre and Smithsonian, but I have connections.

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Depending on who you ask, the Cincinnati Reds probably gave up too much young talent in a deal for pitcher Mat Latos this offseason, but when Walt Jocketty wants a guy, he gets that guy, damn it. Unfortunately, Latos isn’t off to a hot start this season (0-2, 8.22 ERA) but in fairness he had to pitch against the St. Louis Cardinals last night and they pretty much own the 24-year old in his brief career in the majors. The Cards are now 3-1 against Latos since his rookie season, and his ERA in that span has too many digits for me to process without my Texas Instruments graphing calculator.

But who needs stats when criticizing a guy is just plain easier? At least that’s how some Reds fans looked at his awful game last night (5.2 innings, 8 ER) and they took it out on the person who deserved it most – Dallas Latos, Mat’s wife.

That was Dallas’ last Tweet of the night, and she’s probably not going to delete her Twitter because she seems to like attention – as evidenced by her blog and recent appearance on CBS Sports. But she’s going to have to get used to putting up with a-holes and trolls moving ahead, especially if her hubby keeps tossing meatballs. Here are the two dipsh*ts she dealt with last night…

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