Now I ain’t one to toss around big, ol’ fancy words like “coincidence” but I think this story might just fall into that category. Over the weekend, an aspiring model named Margaret Wood, who goes by “The Swag Princess” on Twitter, spent some time in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and she had some very interesting Tweets that didn’t necessarily name any certain Alabama Crimson Tide National Champion quarterbacks, but suggested that the trip was rather fun.

As it turns out, she spent the night at AJ McCarron’s house. How do people suddenly know this? Because she told Radar Online that she spent the night at AJ McCarron’s house.

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Hey, what day is it? A day that ends in –y. That means that former UFC icon and champion Tito Ortiz and his on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again girlfriend or wife or ex-wife or whatever Jenna Jameson are fighting. I don’t know if I could even count on both hands how many times I’ve read or written about when these two fight, so I’m just going to accept that it’s the norm and not even bother looking up what the reason is this time.

That’s mainly because Jenna took care of the research for my crack staff of fact checkers by launching quite the Twitter rant about how Tito has allegedly taken her children away. This is a subject that she’s been Tweeting about for quite some time now, but this time she’s alleging that Tito tried to kill her, and to get back at him and win her children back, she swore that she was going to Tweet pictures of Tito’s drugs.

Then I assume people yawned and said, “Whatever, show us your cool drug photos” and she did.

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Last night, the Boston Bruins took a commanding 3-1 lead over the Toronto Maple Leafs in their first round Stanley Cup Playoffs series, and nobody really cares about that because Happy Endings star Elisha Cuthbert was in the crowd and – did that girl just get sassy with Alex Kerkovich?!?! Short answer – no. Long answer – still no, but with more clarification, obviously.

That young lady standing in front of Cuthbert is April Reimer, wife of Leafs goalie James Reimer, and since the goalie is the easiest person to blame any time the opposing team scores a goal, there’s a chance she wasn’t going to be very happy after the Bruins scored on her husband in overtime. That’s why this exchange between Elisha and April has us sassy Internet bloggers’ wives gossiping this morning.

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“I met Jaimee in Las Vegas.”

Before I get to this week’s recap of the third episode of E!’s brilliant new reality series, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, I want to share my semi-depression over a missed opportunity. I like to believe that I have my finger forever tapped into the pulse of my beloved Orlando, and if there’s going to be a celebrity appearance, I usually know about it. So as I watched WWRLD last night, I was a little miffed that I never received my VIP passes to the Orlando Grand Prix back in February to watch Ryan Lochte place first in the races that were included in this week’s episode and not win the other races that were excluded, including the one race that he was disqualified from.

But I was even more upset to learn that Lochte was JEAHing it up at an Orlando nightclub this past Saturday night, and I could have met up with him and fulfilled my dream of watching him hit on women in person. Some people want to watch LeBron James dunk, but I’d rather watch Lochte dish out classic lines like, “Hey girl, potato.” I guess that in my quest to completely understand one man’s existence, I’ve lost track of my own.

We live, we learn, we watch this show so you don’t have to.

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Pittsburgh’s 96.1 KISS FM Morning Freak Show, hosted by Mikey and Big Bob, responded to a Twitter rumor yesterday that Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby is dating country-turned-pop star Taylor Swift. Normally, I’d be like, “Stupid morning radio bros startin’ poop with awful photoshops” but not this time, because this rumor totally seems like it could be true.

For example, Swift is playing at the Amway Center tonight in my beloved Bethlehem of the meth belt, Orlando, and I wouldn’t even flinch if someone walked up to me in a strip club and said, “Hey I heard Sidney Crosby’s in town because Taylor Swift is playing a show tonight” because she has a different boyfriend every week. In fact, I’m shocked that she hasn’t dated Crosby yet. Hell, any pro athlete for that matter.

So because it’s eventually going to happen, and Swift will break up with whichever athlete she gets her talons on (please be Tebow, please be Tebow…) and then she’ll write an entire album about him, I took the liberty of writing her first hit single off that album.

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"Oh well, guess I'm just stuck with my $110 million."

Two weeks ago, there was a juicy HOTT GOSS rumor floating around that Tiger Woods was offering his ex-wife Elin Nordegren $200 million to remarry him, and he was backing that up with an additional $350 million prenuptial agreement. Of this rumor, which came from the dismissive-wank-worthy National Enquirer, I wrote that it made no sense, because:

1. Nordegren already took $110 million from Woods in their divorce, so why would she trade the remaining shreds of her dignity for $200 million and endless public scorn?
2. Woods could save his $550 million package and still sleep with pretty much any girl on this planet.

It turns out that option 2 was correct, because the man who is probably going to win his seventh Farmers Insurance Open title today has apparently been dating Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn since November.

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