See that kid in the blue jersey and hat with his face obscured? Yeah, a few seconds before this he’d gotten a home run ball. It’s being thrown back by “his sister,” who is probably not even his sister.

With the Chicago White Sox down 10-4, Adam Dunn launched a ball into the left field stands at the Ballpark in Arlington. A gentleman (a Rangers fan, like everyone else in the picture) caught the ball and gave it to his son. It’s the kind of thing you dream about when you’re a kid. Well, I guess you dream about actually catching it yourself, but your dad snagging it and handing it over is still pretty cool. Anyway, he only had the ball for a few seconds, because the lady to his immediate right — advertised as his sister, although that seems like a cover for “a stranger did this to a small child” — took the ball from him and tossed it back onto the field to a round of applause. In a 10-5 game.

Here’s the clip. Spoiler alert: It has a happy ending.

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I swear I’ve seen this video of an overzealous Seattle Mariners fan breaking it down with his young daughters in an empty stadium before, but I think that my mind may have just finally boiled over from spending way too much time on YouTube over the last 10 years. Either way, this real life Phil Dunphy and his two daughters were among the only people who stuck around to watch the Seattle Mariners pull off an 8-7 win over the Chicago White Sox in 10 innings at U.S. Cellular Field on Friday night.

And because it was Friday, they just wanted to DANCE… DANCE… DANCE.

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If I’m making a list of things I love and have to constantly defend, “baseball” and “Final Fantasy games” are at the top of the list. I’m a diehard Cleveland Indians fan who has had to justify every crummy “rebuilding” season of fire-sale trades, and I’ve had the “NO, FINAL FANTASY IV IS THE BEST ONE” video game hipster conversation more times than I’d like to admit. I mean, VI is better than IV, but I rep IV.

What I’m saying is that this preview of the 2013 Toronto Blue Jays season in J-RPG form is relevant to my interests.

I swear to God I played this game as a child. I think it was included on some Nintendo 90 games on one cartridge collection.

At the time it didn’t make sense, but now it’s crystal clear.

There’s a lot of gold to be found in the clip (Reyes being weak against artificial turf is especially choice), and while it might not live up to the epic Final Fantasy joke execution of lasagna using Merton in that one episode of Lasagna Cat, it’s what I like to see in my MLB parody videos. Spoiler alert: if you sleep at an inn with Colby Rasmus in your party, you can see one of four dreams about finishing in third place.

[h/t to Sportress]

"And look Sammy, the bird flies into the pigs!"

By now, you’ve surely seen the glory that is former MLB slugger Sammy Sosa’s Pinterest page, which was unveiled by Deadspin yesterday and quickly pinned on every blog and Tumblr across the Interwebs. If the year ended today and I was forced to throw together my Pulitzer-winning Biggest Sports Moments of the Year feature, there’d be little doubt that this would be No. 2 behind only this GIF of Oregon’s cheerleaders.

Of course, the year doesn’t end in January, because that would mean we’d miss my birthday and that would be a dick move, Father Time. It also means that we’d miss out on the rest of whatever whirlwind public relations tour that Sosa’s handlers are creating for him, as he of course is one of baseball’s steroid era’s biggest personalities and probably in need of a little baby kissing, what with that whole Hall of Fame eligibility thing.

But why, then, was his Pinterest page so hilariously awful? Why does every picture have the same caption on it, proclaiming this to be the real Sammy Sosa? Well, because his team isn’t all that great at social media.

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I think I speak for everyone when I say Nolan Ryan headlocking Robin Ventura and bashing him in the skull like a boss is the greatest moment in baseball history. Okay, maybe not the best, but the list goes “Jackie Robinson,” “Kirk Gibson’s gimpy home run,” then Nolan Ryan emasculating Ventura.

If you are on the Internet, you do not need me to tell you that Reddit is a place full of wonderful things, but today there is nothing more wonderful than said Nolan Ryan/Robin Ventura railroading as interpreted by the 1987 video game classic R.B.I. Baseball.

It’s two beautiful artistic endeavors brought together as one:

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He should’ve just gone for it, said “also you’re in last place” and done a bunch of crotch chops. (via OTB)

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Links

12 TV Stars Who Shouldn’t Have Received a Hollywood Walk of Fame Star Before Bryan Cranston |Warming Glow|

We Still Ain’t Found Sh*t: Celebrating the 25th Anniversary of Spaceballs |Film Drunk|

The Best Of #Louie |UPROXX|

Jimmy Henchman Indicted For Murder, Admits To Role In Tupac Shooting |Smoking Section|

ESPN’s Jenn Brown: The Pete Incaviglia Of Sideline Reporters |With Leather|

Let The Prometheus Parodies Commence! |Gamma Squad|

Behold, The Saul Goodman Yellow Pages Ad |UPROXX|

Meme Watch: Scumbag Dogs Put The Scum In Doggybags, Or Something |UPROXX|

100-Word Album Review: Juvenile’s “Rejuvenation” |Smoking Section|

VIDEO: Jew-Hating Elmo Kicked Out of Central Park Zoo |Film Drunk|

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