On Saturday, more than 450 competing comrades took to the Vuoksa River in Losevo, Leningrad Oblast – what, you’ve never been before? Oh it’s great, there’s a farmer’s market every Saturday morning. It’s where I get my toilet paper and vodka. But this past Saturday marked the 8th annual running of the dolls, of the sex variety, as men and women ages 16 and up borrowed or purchased the finest inflatable sex dolls from local sex shops and raced down the river.
Participants in the Bubble Baba Challenge did their best to float to a three-minute finish (Ed. – Show offs), and when the waves and latex settled, Vladislav Pavlenko was the champion with his female watercraft, “Vanilla Pelotki,” while Vera Tatosyan had the best time of the women with “Yosya.” Other sex doll names included: “Unstoppable Chick,” “Cuddly Female Racoon [sic],” “Big Tit Excess,” “Sexual Goddess,” “Roach,” “Miss Peep,” “School Girl,” “Indefatiguable” and “Luba For A Price.” And next year I will introduce my own floating lady, “USS Stokke.”
In Russia, the dolls sex you, St. Petersburg Times: