Straight from the bowels of SkyMall’s version of Hell comes Verlo Mattress Factory’s CHEESEHEAD BED, advertised as the “World’s First,” a “customized fan experience that combines a good night sleep with championship football, perfect for the die-hard fans of the Green Bay Packers”. At first, you’re probably like, “that’s cool, I’ll buy that for my 6-year old, he loves football,” but no, that bed is pretty clearly being enjoyed by the two worst adults in America.

The Cheesehead Bed (created, I’m assuming, by a guy whose “go down on me wearing the Cheesehead” fetish got boring) isn’t just a novelty item … it’s a continued novelty existence. For example, it doesn’t have a standard retail price. If the Packers win, the bed is $599. If they don’t, it’s $799. A clear message to football fans: only support your team if they’re winning.

They’ve also enlisted the help of LeRoy Butler to orchestrate a Facebook contest to see who can put the most cheese in their bedroom. These are sentences that I am typing for real.

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Rugby is so thrilling for English sports fans, this is what they watch for the pre-game:

A maturing English cheddar cheese that has attracted a devoted worldwide following on the Internet showed its patriotic colours on Friday ahead of England's World Cup quarter-final against Australia.  Dubbed Wedginald by its many admirers, the cheese appeared on screen on Friday with an England rugby ball perched on top.  Since it first appeared on the www.cheddarvision.tv Web site in late December last year the cheese — which simply matures on screen in real time — has attracted 1.6 million hits.

Great.  With the success of The Office, network executives are going to steal the ideas of any popular British shows and slap them on the pictocube.  Get ready to stare at a wheel of cheese age an for an hour every week.  Oh well, at least it will be better than K-Ville.  (Oh yeah, England beat the Wallabies.) -KD