We apologize for that headline. The person who wrote it has been sacked.

Last year, 16-year-old Texas cheerleader Miranda Ferguson did 20 back-handsprings. No big d. She thought she could do more, so she focused up, and this year broke the world record with a senses-(and wrist)-shattering 35 consecutive handsprings. It all went down on Friday night with Guinness Book of World Records representatives on hand to make it official, and with a learned sports blogger’s perspective, I can say objectively that she did a f**king shitload of handsprings.

According to Miranda, it was not her incredible athleticism, coordination or 45-pound frame that helped her pull off the record, it was THE FANS. Without THE FANS, she never could’ve done it. You watch too much MTV Movie Awards, Miranda, you did that by yourself and no amount of people cheering me on could will me into ONE successful handspring, let alone 35 in a row.

Video is below.

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Previous ‘Sports On TV’ columns (for ‘Saved By The Bell’ and ‘Full House’) have been fun to write but a pain to suffer through for research, because seriously, have you tried watching an 8th season episode of ‘Full House’ in 2012? Those columns sorta celebrate the badness of sports on TV, and how they get shoehorned in when people run out of love triangles and job jokes don’t have anything to write about.

So it’s with great pride that I present the third ‘Sports On TV’ effort, celebrating the 25 best sports moments from one of the best and most under-appreciated animated comedies ever made, FOX’s ‘King Of The Hill’. If you haven’t seen it before or just flip past it when you’re looking for ‘Squidbillies’ episodes on Adult Swim, the show’s entire 13-season run is available on Netflix streaming and is one of the best ways to spend 130-ish hours. What made the sports on ‘King Of The Hill’ great is that they aren’t accessories to the action … they’re focal points, important or not, just like in real life.

I’m lucky to have some great guest columnists this week, so I hope you enjoy the list. And yeah, there are at least 40 other moments we could’ve included here, so consider this part 1 of an eventual 50 Greatest Sports Moments Of ‘King Of The Hill’. We’ll loop back around when I realize Golden Girls didn’t have 20 sports moments on it.

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Get it

There’s nothing Taiwan loves more than an American high school sex scandal. Sure, they love giving Kevin Durant lightning powers or animating Tim Tebow on the cross, but they’re at their tactless best when turning a complexly-emotional story of abuse into a video about rimjobs.

Much in the same way their Bengals cheerleader scandal video had Sarah Jones get a big “INDICTED” stamped over her vagina, Next Media Animation shares the story of Shelbyville High School cheerleading coach Megan Crafton’s sexual relationship with a 17-year old student by animating a hard-on and having Megan walk across a table in a bikini with a big sign that says CONSENT. It gets torn up, but I won’t spoil the reasons why. There’s information to be had, people.

Check out the video below. It’s worth it for the shot of her draining three-pointers and getting chased away by a ghost.

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Today, we’re bringing you the Best of WL from 2009: my favorite posts (and yours, if you make mention of them in the comments) from the last year. It’ll be an excellent precursor to your rampage of irresponsibility on New Year’s Eve.

Carlie Christine was the cheerleader coach at Orangevale (CA) Casa Robles High School, but was then fired after school officials were informed that Christine had posed for Playboy and appeared on their site as Cyber Girl of the Week, a title which really sounds more apocalyptic than masturbatory, but that’s just me thinking out loud.

What apparently uncovered the coach was when some girls didn’t make the cheerleading squad because they had a few unexcused absences from school. Their parents then made copies of Christine and dropped the pictures on the principal’s desk.

Christine was then fired from her position at Casa Robles High School.

And obviously there was plenty of phony parental outrage to go around. And the “parents” in the story ASKED NOT TO BE IDENTIFIED, because inflicting your morals on other people is the only bravery that’s required in this world, I guess.

“The girls are supposed to look up their coaches,” says one concerned parent. “The whole football team has seen it.”

Whatever, parents. Everyone knows that cheerleaders are just whores in training from the onset. The link to Christine’s spread is here; it’s NSFW. Until the parents of Casa Robles High get it taken down, anyway. Prudes.

|CBS 13|

Originally posted April 15, 2009.

Carlie Christine was the cheerleader coach at Orangevale (CA) Casa Robles High School, but was then fired after school officials were informed that Christine had posed for Playboy and appeared on their site as Cyber Girl of the Week, a title which really sounds more apocalyptic than masturbatory, but that’s just me thinking out loud.

What apparently uncovered the coach was when some girls didn’t make the cheerleading squad because they had a few unexcused absences from school. Their parents then made copies of Christine and dropped the pictures on the principal’s desk.

Christine was then fired from her position at Casa Robles High School.

And obviously there was plenty of phony parental outrage to go around. And the “parents” in the story ASKED NOT TO BE IDENTIFIED, because inflicting your morals on other people is the only bravery that’s required in this world, I guess.

“The girls are supposed to look up their coaches,” says one concerned parent. “The whole football team has seen it.”

Whatever, parents. Everyone knows that cheerleaders are just whores in training from the onset. The link to Christine’s spread is here; it’s NSFW. Until the parents of Casa Robles High get it taken down, anyway. Prudes.

|CBS 13|

Originally posted April 15, 2009.

Some freshman on the Virginia Tech cheerleading squad decided to try out for the “Girls of the ACC” issue of Playboy, that one magazine that was really cool before God invented Google Image Search, Redtube, xhamster, booble…you get the idea. Those are just my favorites. Your results may vary.

Anyway, she used her real name, which might put her status as a Virginia Tech cheerleader in jeopardy. Because looking for a young lady’s goods, aside from whenever those microskirts flap up, is frowned upon in Blacksburg.

Carly Hinchman and Maggie Cook, both freshmen, are friends and decided to try out together.

“When we’re older and it’s 20 years from now, we can be like, remember when we tried out for Playboy?“ Cook said.

In all, five women tried out while we were there. All of them admitted they hadn’t told their parents. According to Kaye, if they make it, they will have to break the news.

Hey Carly, remember 20 days from now when you got thrown off the cheerleading squad at Virginia Tech? But then you made the cut for Playboy and gave Jose Canseco a blow job? Then you married some oil man from Texas that bought you some new boobs and…again, you get the idea. Seriously, Carly, you follow your dreams, homegirl. Without women making bad decisions in front of a camera, we’d be nowhere as a society today.

|Busted Coverage|