It’s no secret that women love baseball players, and they’re also pretty big suckers for Santa. So when you combine the two of them into one man with an engagement ring in tow, well it just flat out sucks for the rest of us. In a game that was highlighted by the year’s biggest phantom whistle controversy, the New Orleans Saints barely eeked out a 22-17 win over the Tennessee Titans. But one of the Titans cheerleaders made the only worthwhile headline when she agreed to marry Santa.

During their halftime routine of gyrating hips, Janae Kram was a little creeped out by the pervy St. Nick approaching her, until he revealed to her that he was her boyfriend and Washington Nationals minor league pitcher Ben Graham. Meanwhile, every kid at that game is still crying.

“I was trying to keep my cool and do the performance,” she said, “They were telling me [before the performance] that Santa was going to do something and it could be a little embarrassing, so I was thinking the old man is going to dance with me. When I looked over and saw Ben it was really exciting.”

(Via WKRN News with video of the proposal and their reactions.)

Kram is also an aspiring actress and we certainly wish her luck in her entertainment career, as she is marrying a Single A pitcher with a 4-4 record this year. Start saving, kids!

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Miami Dolphins cheerleader Lilly Robbins is always relevant.

This past Saturday, the first annual Louisiana High School Athletic Association Cheer and Dance Competition was held in Lake Charles, LA and I can only assume that the spirit fingers were in full effect. The first event drew an impressive 1,302 competitors, but almost a week later, it’s not the cheerleaders that we’re talking about. Nope, it was just one insanely intense cheer mom that stole the entire show and became an instant star.

The unnamed mom, who was at the competition cheering on her daughter from Archbishop Hannan High School, has done little to squash the stereotype that parents of young, competitive girls are insane, but I’m pretty glad that we have women like this in our lives. In fact, I think YouTube user “capita01” sums up my feelings best with this comment:

“i want her to step on my balls.”

Truer words have never been said. Video after the jump.

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If you’re any type of respectable male – or awesome female – you probably spent your Thanksgiving with a face full of gravy as you shoveled turkey into your yapper while watching 3 more-or-less entertaining NFL games. If that’s the case, you might remember Miami Dolphins linebacker Marvin Mitchell tackling Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten way out of bounds, while somehow not drawing a personal foul penalty. You should remember it because it involved Cowboys cheerleader Melissa Kellerman being tackled and helped up by Witten in quite a gentlemanly display.

Kellerman laughed it off and the cameras followed her smiling shock for a few moments before getting back to yet another Miami choke job. But because of those few seconds, a star was born and people suddenly wanted to know more about Kellerman, and she later took to her Twitter to joke about the whole gigantic man crushing her 100-pound frame ordeal.

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Aw, if you thought the unnecessary call for attractive females was done today, then you, my friends, just don’t know me very well. Allow me to introduce Medvedev’s Girls, an organization of females in Russia that has pledged its undying devotion to the country’s president, Dmitry Medvedev. That’s right, Russia’s president has a group of attractive young females wearing cheerleading outfits that follows him around voluntarily and supports everything that he does. Somewhere Bill Clinton is soooooooooo pissed.

Apparently the group was formed in opposition of a similar group of attractive females that encourages – seriously, I can’t believe I’m typing this – other attractive young females to strip in support of Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin. Most recently, Medvedev’s Girls have worn sexy schoolgirl outfits to support education initiatives and to support Medvedev’s ban on underage drinking (in Russia?) they shed articles of clothing as people poured out their beers. Seriously, how could you be mad about that?

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Now’s your chance to make me and the rest of the UPROXX family look as dumb as these women cheering for Indianapolis in cowboy hats and short-pants — October’s weekend of free fantasy football through our friends at Draftstreet. We’ve been doing this for a while now and I’ve never finished higher than the low-70s, so it’s a great opportunity to win money and make a semi-reputable, sorta-popular sports blogger look like hot garbage. I guess I didn’t get this job because I know stuff about sports.

Anyway, here’s the RULES AND HYPE paragraph, in case you haven’t played with us before:

The game happens this weekend, and it’s going to work a lot like our baseball games; you’ll sign up (for free, again, I’m not going to make you pay for anything) and pick your team, choosing two QBs, two WR, two RB and so on until you’ve exhausted your salary cap, and the team with the best performance in this Sunday’s games wins money. So do the next five top teams. That’s right, we’re paying out to the top 6 teams from a $250 cash pool.

I’m going to study and try hard (and get someone else to draft my team) so I can win this thing this time. We’re going to have reps from here, Warming Glow, Kissing Suzy Kobler and the UPROXX main page (as of now) playing along, so sign up and draft your team now to find out next Tuesday whether you’re better than me, a short-legged dog, a fictional version of Peter King and the Workaholics guys (note: Workaholics guys are not playing, to my knowledge).

Help us out! PLAY OUR THING!

With Halloween upon us, most of you are probably recovering from a weekend of cheap booze and heavy drooling over naughty *insert occupation* and, if you’re anything like me, you’re eager to shut all the lights off and watch Monday Night Football in complete silence. But if you’re one of those “adult” types and you didn’t get a chance to go out this week and ogle scantily clad girls who benefit greatly from masks and makeup, you can at least take comfort in know that some NFL cheerleaders are here to comfort you.

Specifically, the Tennessee Titans and Baltimore Ravens cheerleaders want to comfort you, because they were the only NFL cheerleaders that cared enough about their fans yesterday to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Like Batgirl above. She could be a Cyclops under that mask. Hell, she could be Richard Harrow from “Boardwalk Empire.” Either way, she’s the prime example of how Halloween should be done.

Today, we celebrate the efforts of the Titans and Ravens cheerleaders, and we cast our scorn upon the 30 other NFL cheerleading squads that were too cool for school.

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