Whenever we cover a Taiwanese animation video at With Leather, I make a point to note that despite their absurdist imagery and general apesh*t insanity, the folks at Next Media Animation always make a good point. Whether they’re saying the Cowboys won’t win again until Jerry Jones dies or that the Saints bounty-gate scandal obscured the bigger picture, the wacky videos succeed because they’re taking the weirdest imaginable route to a logical conclusion.

That being said, the following video (informally titled “Granny Cheerleader: Hot Or Not?”) bypasses almost completely the story of 55-year-old Sharon Simmons’ quest to join the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad in favor of a soul-sucking theory, a Simon Cowell cameo and a baby exploding out of a womb like Chow Yun Fat and literally killing its mother’s dreams with a handgun. The larger point here is, “we are now all on drugs”.

Check out the full video after the jump.

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Illegally touched ball.

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Adam Sandler is remaking Summer School? Well sunglass my dog. |Film Drunk|

The With Leather Photo Tour Of Marlins Park |With Leather|

Mr. Muthaf*ckin eXquire – “Position of Passion” |Smoking Section|

Spider-Man Goes Commando For These Three New Clips From ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ |Gamma Squad|

Eric’s Sister from ‘That ‘70s Show’ Is (Still) Not Doing Well |Warming Glow|

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I was conducting my daily routine of Googling “cheerleaders” among other words, when I came across the above banner image that was taken a few weeks ago. Instantly, my head went into game show mode and I asked myself this million dollar query:

What the hell is actually going on in this photo?

A) The Tokyo Stock Exchange is the happiest place on Earth.
B) Linsanity is at an all-time high, with cheerleaders practically being mauled at courtside.
C) Moments later… TENTACLES!!!
D) These guys are at a job fair.

And shocked I was, as I read all about how the organizers of a job fair in Japan earlier this month hired cheerleaders to get the thousands of unemployed men hyped about walking in circles, handing their resumes to indifferent strangers who probably aren’t actually hiring, and giving that one look that begs without words, “Please… please help me reclaim my dignity.”

Then I thought back to the last job fair I went to and man, cheerleaders would have totally made that Enterprise GM telling me to “Piss off” so much better.

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Just like the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Pro Bowl had to tarp sections to avoid a blackout.

The 2012 Pro Bowl took place yesterday, in case you were glued to TNT’s broadcast of the Celebrity Drinking Contest annual SAG Awards, and it was basically everything you would expect, as the AFC defeated the NFC 59-41. The defenses played down, allowing the offensive players to do their things, and that’s why Philip Rivers only had one interception, instead of the standard 7. But I also commend rookie Can Newton for selflessly getting the defense involved by throwing 3 picks as well.

The star of the game, though, was Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall, who had 6 receptions for 176 yards and a Pro Bowl record 4 touchdowns, as he scored once in each quarter. Of course, the controversial wide receiver’s moment in the figurative sun didn’t last long as he eventually opened his mouth.

“Since Jay Cutler I’ve had a few different quarterbacks and being in the Pro Bowl you have these elite quarterbacks and it’s all them,” he said. “They put [the ball] in the right spots and make it easy for me to make the catch. It’s all the quarterbacks.” (Via the Miami Herald)

While he’s right – in the last two seasons, he’s had four QBs in Matt Moore, Chad Henne, Chad Pennington and Tyler Thigpen – some have misconstrued Marshall’s words as an attack on Moore. That would be true if the Dolphins hadn’t already made it clear that they’re looking to upgrade at QB. But I digress. At least the Pro Bowl gave us something to talk about.

In the meantime, people will continue to question the need for the Pro Bowl, and those people need to shush. The Pro Bowl is great for what it is – a chance for guys who get their asses kicked for 18 weeks to f*ck around and have some fun. The NFL just needs to move it back to after the Super Bowl so the players from the eventual championship team can attend and remind all of the other players how much worse they are. That’s the true NFL spirit.

Now enjoy some of the game’s best moments before everyone goes back to airing David Tyree’s catch over and over for the next 6 days.

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The St. Louis Rams tried their hardest to put up one last fight in this incredibly disappointing season, as they scored 17 points in the 4th quarter to make the NFC West champion San Francisco 49ers really sweat over earning the No. 2 seed in the playoffs and a first round bye. Ultimately, the 49ers, led by my NFL MVP pick David Akers – he only kicked two more field goals and threw a touchdown, nothing special – defeated the Rams 34-27, and that’s awesome if you’re a 49ers fan but it sucks for Rams fans. Thankfully, one Fox Sports cameraman gave Rams fans a ray of light for their New Year.

During the third quarter, the cameraman in question caught bosomy Rams cheerleader Holly (seen above) on camera and gave her the completely unnecessary but totally appreciated slow motion treatment. Who says miracles only come at Christmas?

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Candlestick Park went blackout dark twice during last night’s Monday Night Football game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, and depending on your level of inner demons your brain should go to one of two jokes: “pretty funny that a place called ‘candlestick’ would burn out like that” or “did anybody get shot?” The second one isn’t a joke as much as a concern, but don’t worry, you weren’t the only one thinking it.

From the Associated Press:

Two power outages delayed the Niners’ 20-3 Monday night win over the Pittsburgh Steelers, first just before kickoff and again early in the second quarter after the stadium moved to a backup power source.

NFL security chief Jeff Miller said he witnessed a transformer blow up while he was monitoring a gate outside the stadium, where a shooting during the preseason already put a negative light on this venue.

Eventually the lights came back on and stayed that way, and San Fran rolled to a 20-3 victory. Nobody was injured or murdered (that we know of) and nothing had to be postponed, so the game’s legacy lies in a gallery of videos and images depicting sudden darkness, dogs being led around the stadium by policemen and a sad line of cheerladies who just wanted to put on their Santa Claus dresses and shake a pom pom for our enjoyment. Those are the real victims.

Anyway, please enjoy said gallery, and yes, the Santa dresses are in there.

[pics credit to Getty Images, AP Photo and Reuters Images]

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