Hey, you! It’s Oregon All Access: 2012 Oregon Cheer Tryouts, “an inside look at what it took to earn a coveted spot on the 2012-2013 Oregon Cheer Team.” Everybody cool with that? I mean, I can post some more George Plimpton videos if you’d like.

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Links

FilmDrunk Video: We’ve replaced Wolverine’s claw sounds. Let’s see if he notices. |Film Drunk|

What Is Matthew Modine Up To These Days, You Ask? Pwning Bill Simmons On Twitter, That’s What! |UPROXX|

Who Should Play Mr. Rogers In The Mr. Rogers Movie? |Warming Glow|

Alex Karras Versus George Plimpton. Who Ya Got? |With Leather|

Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Confirmed For ‘Avengers 2′, So Let’s Check Out Some Cosplay |Gamma Squad|

The 10 Most Badass X-Men Villains Of All Time |Smoking Section|

Pilot for Hard Knocks 2013 LEAKED: The League Office |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Fantastic Finishes: Shlemenko vs McDaniel |LegKickTKO|

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As you may know, the Houston Texans cheerleaders are my favorite. They’re a fun bunch of ladies who aren’t afraid to Fandango on the Internet between the Monday Fandango was cool and the Monday he was violently ruined.

Here they are hanging out with the 41st President of the United States, George H.W. Bush, and his amazing, amazing socks. Look at those things. I bet even Derrick Bateman doesn’t own socks that patriotic.

President George H.W. Bush recently spent some time with the Houston Texans Cheerleaders and a few photos and videos were snapped. The former President was on hand to present roses to the newest selected 2013-2014 Houston Texans Cheerleaders. The President presented each of the 35 girls with a red rose, and also had time to thank the ones who visited him while he was in the hospital recently. (via Next Impulse Sports)

All political preferences and discussion aside, this is sweet. Here’s the follow-up picture, featuring George making a perfectly reasonable face to be made around a Houston Texans cheerleader whether you’ve been the leader of the free world or not.

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There is not a better way to spend a Wednesday morning than watching a bunch of cheerleaders f**k up and hurt themselves. Highlights include more than one girl getting trampled on the wrong side of a paper barricade, a cheerleader backflipping until she’s perpendicular to a wall and so many sad vaults. Thanks, World Wide Interweb.

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Links

5 Stages Of Yeah Yeah Yeahs: How To Admit A Great Band Has Released Their Worst Album |UPROXX|

An Important Discussion About ‘Teen Mom’ Star Farrah Abraham’s Sex Tape Scandal |Warming Glow|

It’s Jamie Foxx As Electro On The Set Of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 |Film Drunk|

Great Spring Break Moments Revisited: Grandma’s Airplane Beer Bong Adventure |With Leather|

Captain Kirk Is Very Sorry In The Final Theatrical Trailer For ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ |Gamma Squad|

Where The Hell Is… Da Band? |Smoking Section|

A Possible First-Round Pick Is Not Housebroken |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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If you don’t watch WWE programming, you may not be familiar with Fandango. He’s a pro wrestler slash ballroom dancer (no, seriously) who will only wrestle you if you pronounce his name properly. It’s not “Fandango,” it’s “FAAAAAAAHN, DAAAAAAAHN, GOOOOOO.” You really have to let the As breathe. His entrance theme is a wonderful piece of elevator music by WWE maestro Jim Johnston. Up until now, Fandango has only been loved by esoteric Internet weirdos like myself, who prefer niche, goofy character work to, say, The Rock saying he’s gonna turn stuff sideways and stick it up a guy’s ass.

Anyway, the crowd at Monday’s live Raw show changed all that. You can read about it in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw column, but here’s the short version: the crowd suddenly (possibly ironically) fell in love with Fandango, cheering him and singing his entrance theme. Well, humming it, because there aren’t any words. They started dancing around, and a phenomenon was born. His entrance theme (“ChaChaLaLa” … no, seriously) started selling like mad, and is still in a ridiculously high spot on most popular music charts.

To continue Fandango’s ascent into pop culture infamy, NFL cheerleaders have started doing the Fandango. Fandangoing, if you will.

When 51 Finalists competing to be Texans Cheerleaders paused from action last night… The most EPIC fit of #Fandangoing broke out at Practice! “No… no no no it’s…”

I knew there was a reason I loved this team. Here’s the video. Warning: You will be singing/doing this all day.

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Don’t like reading horrible stories about former sports celebrities molesting children? HERE, HAVE TWO.

The first is Elizabeth Leigh Garner, a 42-year old former Tennessee Titans cheerleader, who is in trouble for getting drunk at a party, following a 12-year old boy (yes, a 12-year old boy) into a bathroom and trying to go down on him against his will. This is a thing that happened in real life.

“He stated she was asking him if he had ever been with a woman,” Roberts reported, adding the boy disclosed she then touched him inappropriately on the outside of his pants. “He also said she was making an attempt to take his shorts off …” and told the boy she would perform oral sex on him.

The boy told Roberts he became frightened and was able to get out of the bathroom and tell his mother. (via Black Mountain News)

That last sentence is such a ghastly reminder of how young a 12-year old really is. Her excuse is equally embarrassing, and the type of thing you can’t really make up.

“Ms. Garner, who was advised of her miranda rights, stated that she was drunk that evening,” Roberts reported, “and that she got the boy confused with a man who also at the residence.”

To her credit, it’s probably totally easy to mix up a grown man with a 12-year old who is sobbing and running off to tell his mother. Here’s a video clip of the story, courtesy of NewsChannel5.com:

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You know your video has gone mainstream when a Chuck Norris parody account is your highest-rated comment. Anyway, remember the flipping cheerleader who drained a half court trick shot? She’s back to do it again, this time with the Harlem Globetrotters, a Flip Video camera and some cataracts-causing video editing. Enjoy. (via Bob’s)

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Links

Erin Andrews Rejecting 50 Cent’s Kiss Is Your New Favorite ‘Awkward’ GIF |UPROXX|

Dragons, Death, And The Dinklage: ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 3 Trailer Is Here |Warming Glow|

16 Awesomely Bad Movies Available On YouTube Right Now |Film Drunk|

The Charles Barkley Price Is Right Appearance, Or “What The Hell Happened To The Price Is Right” |With Leather|

5 Reasons You Should Think Twice About Touching The Playstation 4′s ‘Share’ Button |Gamma Squad|

Kanye West Isn’t Here For Your Filthy Corporate Money! |Smoking Section|

Rams Running Back Has An Off-Season Job at Jimmy John’s |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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