I honestly cannot remember the last time somebody not wearing a clown suit pied somebody in the face and it was actually funny. My only quandry here is whether ESPN NFL analyst Mark Schlereth deserves special distinction as a “clown.” But really, wouldn’t it be easier to just snap him with a towel, hide his car keys, or just pin him down with a couple friends in the cafeteria and stick a gravy ladle where the sun doesn’t shine? And HOW DARE HE let Chris McKendry walk into the studio unscathed. This never would have happened if Emmitt Smith was still there. via.
Christian Laettner was elected to the prestigious National Polish-American Sports Hall of Fame. The induction banquet is in Troy, Michigan on June 12th, where attendees will be served pierogies and copious amounts of Old Style.
"Laettner" might not seem like a Polish name, but the board decided that he'd swallowed enough of Mike Krzyzewski's vowel-deprived DNA to qualify as Polish-American. Oh, and don't worry about my false allegations of gay sex amongst the Duke basketball team — Laettner never left his apartment without a handful of spicy condoms.
In order to make his bust for the museum, Laettner's head and shoulders will be lowered into a vat of molten bronze. The resulting statue will be placed next to other sporting greats of Polish descent, such as the guy who invented ice hockey cleats.
