From the Charlotte Bobcats Twitter/Instagram/Pinterest Or Whatever page:

PHOTOS: At the arena for his sold out concert, @JustinBieber was excited to meet Bobcats Chairman Michael Jordan

“Excited” wasn’t really the word. The word was SWAG, which I’m guessing Justin Bieber only breaks out for situations like meeting the greatest basketball player of all-time, and not for every f**king thing he does.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for allowing this talented forever-child the opportunity to stand beside His Airness. For your next miracle, please allow Chris Paul’s son to know Bieber, yet still grow up bending the brims of his hats and having not that haircut.

Last night, while Dwyane Wade was kicking Ramon Sessions in the balls on purpose and then acting all offended that someone could even insinuate that he’d ever commit a dirty foul, LeBron James was distracted by the Charlotte Bobcats’ No. 1 fan (I assume) and former WWE and WCW champion Ric Flair. It turns out that Flair was sitting courtside as the Bobcats lost their 16th consecutive game with a 105-92 ball-stomping by the Miami Heat.

Apparently James was a huge wrasslin’ fan as a child, and the Nature Boy had quite the impact on his, specifically in that Flair possibly invented the baller lifestyle.

“When I was a kid, I loved wrestling,” James told the Associated Press. “He was one of the guys I loved, too. I think he’s one of the creators of what we call swag these days with the Rolexes and the stretch limos and all the girls and all that stuff. He’s one of the creators of swag.” (Via CBS Philly)

In case you’re wondering, the other creators of swag include Richard Nixon, Phyllis Diller and my dad, because he can totally beat up your dad.

But before we slide a little further into love with James, let’s just remember that he’s been on a non-stop PR tour ever since the Heat won the NBA title. He wants the common man and average American to love him, so of course he’s trying to relate to our love of cheap cell phone plans, colorful shoes and one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all-time.

You see, it starts with Ric Flair and then soon he’s like, “Hey, you know what was an awesome TV show? Perfect Strangers.” And you’re like, “Yeah, that was a good show, let’s do the Dance of Joy.” And then he hesitates while one of his boys drugs your drink and you wake up in a dumpster. Fool me once, LeBron. Fool me once.

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Hi, professional athletes. I’m just going to assume that you all are reading this, because why wouldn’t you? Recently, I wrote an award-winning piece about the 20 sports moments that I believed had truly transcended all others this year, and everyone from the Pulitzer committee to several bisexual Penthouse Pets agreed that it was the best thing they’d ever read. They especially appreciated the very first moment (No. 20) that I mentioned, which was Nicolas Batum punching an opponent in the balls as hard as he could.

Batum, of course, famously tried to justify his testicular attack by accusing Team Spain of flopping and intentionally losing a game to Brazil so they didn’t have to play Team USA. Even if that’s true – and it probably is – that is no excuse to hit another man in the testicles. That brings us to last night, when Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade kicked Ramon Sessions in the balls on purpose and received no punishment for it.

Now let’s go to the video.

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Continuing with my theme of “Hey, here’s some good news, let’s talk about this!” that started with Andre Johnson’s incredibly kind effort and continued with Chris Paul’s equally generous charitable act, sports teams in every league except the one with a commissioner who is ruining Canada’s Christmas have been pitching in to help kids in their communities. Earlier this week, for instance, Orlando Magic players Jameer Nelson, JJ Redick and Glen Davis each held separate events for local kids, and the Charlotte Bobcats even took time away from not being in last place to give a little back.

As part of their Cats Care program, the entire Bobcats team gave 40 kids from the Salvation Army Center of Hope Women’s and Children’s Shelter, Hope Haven and Church of God Children’s Home of North Carolina their own $150 gift cards to run around Target and pick out toys for themselves and presents for their families. As in most cases like this, it meant as much to the players as it did to the kids.

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One day I’ll get that headline to work.

Last Wednesday, With Leather dunk scientists decided that Cleveland’s Anderson Varejao faking out Dwight Howard and dunking on the rest of the Actual Lakers was the most slam dunkingest slam dunk of the week. While we struggle to properly conjugate “slam dunk,” we’ve gathered a new crop of HOT DUNKZ and ask you, the reader, to decide which one is the most slam and/or dunk.

Dunk clips and a handy selection box for your dunk of choice are included after the jump. Please take your time with these and consider which is best, because the Internet desperately needs science.

This week’s choices are:

1. Blake Griffin catching an alley-oop off the glass, because every dunk battle needs Blake Griffin in it doing something ridiculous
2. Gerald Henderson throwing down a monster dunk on Dwight Howard, because every dunk battle needs somebody making Dwight Howard look bad.
3. Danilo Gallinari alley-ooping the ball to himself against the Memphis Grizzlies.
4. Cal State San Marcos’ Daniel Redmond catching a half court alley-oop

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Here’s NASCAR Sprint Cup champion Brad Keselowski “hooping it up” during halftime at a Charlotte Bobcats game, and I’d make more jokes about how he’s terrible, but he’s not much worse than the Charlotte Bobcats. (via The Nosebleeds)

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Links

The ‘Rock Is Dead’ Argument Is Dead Wrong. Here Are 12 Reasons Why. |UPROXX|

Review: Killing Them Softly, a Cinematic Motörhead Song |Film Drunk|

David Blaine Ate Meryl Streep’s Wine Glass At A Party Last Night |Warming Glow|

Real-Life Eric Cartman Plays Canadian Pee-Wee Hockey, Is Not Hilarious |With Leather|

‘Pacific Rim’ Reveals A Whole Bunch Of Giant Robots |Gamma Squad|

Dr. Dre Rakes In $110 Million, Reigns As “The World’s Highest Paid Musician” |Smoking Section|

The Inner Tumult Of Alex Smith |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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