Post columnist and ESPN talking head Michael Wilbon went onto Tony Kornheiser’s radio show earlier today, claiming that “on pretty good authority” he knew that two head coaches from prominent programs–Rich Rodriguez of Michigan and Charlie Weis of Notre Dame–would not be returning for 2010.
We pretty much wrote this post a week ago so the only thing we can add would involve the money element: Rodriguez has only been in Ann Arbor for two years and still has four years left on the deal he signed in early 2008. Weis is in a similar situation with the 10-year extension he signed in 2005. Each coach has a buyout clause in his respective deal worth enough to revitalize an African country of his choosing: $4 million for RichRod, and Weis is owed a whopping $18 million.
Candidates’ names are swirling through the media, but they will not include Jim Harbaugh, whose second straight defeat of Southern Cal earned him an extension. But one has to wonder: if those schools could have done so much better at hiring just a few short years ago…why didn’t they?
We’ve already made a case for Andy Reid, who couldn’t manage a clock if it was jammed into a serving of chicken marsala. But here are four other coaches, college and pro, who have come up short in their respective 2009 campaigns.
Eric Mangini, Cleveland Browns. Some people can step into a new organization and sling their dick anywhere they want, because as long as the team wins, they’re cool. But unlike Josh McDaniels in Denver–who was taking over an underperforming playoff-caliber team, Mangini hasn’t delivered the results that were expected from such dickery, and he’s likely to be a one-and-done coach as the Browns seem to be heading backward. Again.
2009 Wins: One, a 6-3 puntfest against Buffalo. And Buffalo sucks.
Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. The man who brought “FUPA” into the blogger lexicon, Weis might be the only coach in America with a signature loss, the Bush Push game in 2005. Weis was expected to have a chance to run the table in 2009, but he’s already lost three games (including losing to Navy at home on Saturday) with three to play.
2009 Wins: Six, with only two (Nevada, Washington State) by more than seven points.
Rich Rodriguez, Michigan. Charlie Weis with about half the calories. This is the only guy that would leave the Maize-and-Blue faithful pining for the days of Lloyd Carr. DickRod and Michigan seem to fit like OJ Simpson and those gloves, but with all the money they’re paying that guy, one might expect for this divorce to be even bloodier.
2009 Wins: Five, with all but one (Indiana) against non-conference teams, including a 63-6 drubbing of Delaware State. Awesome.
ASYLUM POLL: Who’s the worst coach in all of football today?
I’ve spent all day trying to come up with a SpyGate joke for Bill Belichick inexplicably on stage singing Dead or Alive with Bon Jovi at some benefit in this undated video. And I got nuthin’. Charlie Weis, on the other hand…he’s no Ruben Studdard, that much is clear. I love how they do the White People’s “Let’s Go” Clap to try and get the audience into it. I keep waiting for a pickup truck to roll onto the stage with some voiceover about how long-lasting that brand of truck is. Wait, that was John Melloncamp. Wasn’t it? Anyway, if you manage to finish this entire video, pour yourself a pint because you probably need it.
“Tommy [Brady] gave me some advice from firsthand experience,” Weis said. “He told me, for about a week, you’ll be struggling. After that, it gets better.”
Ummm… Brady’s knee injury was just a week ago, yes? Maybe he’s not quite the expert here. And I don’t quite see the comparison between Brady’s knee and Weis’s. Weis’s knees are under a helluva lot of duress every day. They’re the Atlas of hinge joints. Probably looking for any excuse for a break from holding up that planet of an ass.
On the same weekend that former Brady Quinn receiver (hee hee! -Ed.) Jeff Samardzija made his debut at Wrigley, Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis led the crowd in "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" — only Cubs fans didn't seem to get the lyrics quite right. They replaced the first couple of lines with robust booing.
This marks the first time in recorded history that Cubs fans have done something cool.
Remember when they used to send shows like these to entertain the troops:
Well now college coaches, like Notre Dame's Charlie Weis, Auburn's Tommy Tuberville, and Georgia's Mark Richt among others, will pay a visit to soldiers stationed in the Middle East this Memorial Day. This seems really lame to me, but the farthest I was ever 'stationed' from home was when my girlfriend banished me to a lawn tent because of some crotch lice. The Chief served honorably, so I'll bet he'll have an opinion on this later. Until then, please to enjoy EDSBS's imaginings of the coaches' trip. -KD
