Bow Down To Your New Lord And Master, The Chainsaw Slingshot Guy

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.28.13

Hey, have you ever wanted to shoot chainsaws with a bazooka slingshot?

Finally. At last. The Holy Grail of Launcher Ammunition is a reality!

The Slingshot Channel, back to “normal mode”, uses the slingshot Bazooka first presented in the Witch Hunter Trilogy (http://slingshotchannel.blogspot.de/2013/01/the-witch-hunter-trilogy.html) to fire the undisputed King of Projectiles – a vertiable Chain Saw.

See how the huge shoulder mounted rubber bazooka fires the heavy Black and Decker tool into the air, and then against a thick archery mat.

Highlights of the chainsaw slingshot include a cheek guard (to keep the rubber band from RIPPING OFF YOUR EAR), a bayonet on a stick (it’s very lethal, he thinks) and a bald guy with a threatening accent wearing a shirt about BITCHES.

See if you can find the proper tone in this video, because I can’t. One minute he’s shilling for comments using a Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters poster, the next he’s sending javelins through archery boards and cackling like a super villain at his “brutal hit.” Hell, I can’t even figure out whether or not this is Robin Williams in a bald cap, just f**king with us.

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EX-MARINE FIGHTS LION WITH CHAINSAW!

Written by Matt / 07.18.09

And now for a story from the wild world of outdoors living: a former Marine camping in Wyoming defended his wife and two young children from a mountain lion attack… WITH A CHAINSAW!  Read this passage while I play air guitar:

Dustin Britton, a 32-year-old mechanic and ex-Marine [Ed Note: we prefer the term "former Marine"] from Windsor, Colo., said he was alone cutting firewood about 100 feet from his campsite in the Shoshone National Forest when he saw the lion staring at him from some bushes.

Britton revved his 18-inch chain saw and tried to back away. But the 100-pound lion followed. As the animal pounced, the 6-foot-tall, 170-pound Britton raised his saw and met it head-on – a collision he said felt like a grown man running right into him. “It batted me three or four times with its front paws and as quick as I hit it with that saw it just turned away,” he said.

Britton later discovered he’d inflicted a six- to eight-inch gash on the lion’s shoulder. He said he was surprised the damage wasn’t worse. “You would think if you hit an animal with a chain saw it would dig right in. I might as well have hit it with a hockey stick,” he said.

The starving lion was shot and killed after it killed a dog that was tracking it.  Authorities are making it clear that this is an exceptionally rare instance of a cougar attacking a man in the wild — they’re much more prevalent in night clubs after young men have been drinking — but you should still take your chainsaw with you wherever you go.  Ya know, just in case.

(thanks to Albert for the tip)

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