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Now, about that stupid thing on Coco Crisp’s neck …

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You know, with the lockout still going strong, we often worry too much about how players are staying in shape and ignore the guys who don’t have to worry about that. Haha no, I’m not talking about kickers. I mean players who are always injured or irrelevant, like Chad Pennington and Daunte Culpepper.

Pennington hosted his annual 1st and 10 Celebrity Bowl event in majestic Huntington, West Virginia over the weekend, and his fellow one-time Miami Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper joined in the cause to “build stronger communities by funding programs and institutions that seek to improve quality of life throughout southern West Virginia and the Tri-State area as well as East Tennessee”, according to the 1st and 10 Club’s mission statement.

This year’s event not only attracted Culpepper but also former Marshall and current Pittsburgh Steelers right guard Doug Legursky, as well as those other guys in that picture up there. Pennington, who also played at Marshall, considered Culpepper a rival in college, as Daunte played at UCF and the two programs were considered by many* to be rivals. Now they’re the two bestest buds in the whole world.

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Miami Dolphins quarterback Chad Pennington blew out his ACL playing basketball, which is awesome since he now doesn’t have insurance and, come fall, probably won’t even have a jobby job.

Pennington tore the anterior cruciate ligament while playing basketball, according to Creative Artists, his representation agency. CAA’s release did not say which knee he hurt.
The 34-year-old Pennington will have surgery performed on April 7 by noted orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews.

–SI.com

Enjoy rehab, sucker. Tell Charlie Sheen we said…oh, wait. Wrong kind of rehab.

The Miami Dolphins kept their dwindling playoff hopes alive with a 29-17 win over the Tennessee Titans yesterday, but they’ll have to keep pressing on without quarterbacks Chad Henne and Chad Pennington, who were both removed from the game with serious injuries. Coach Tony Sparano had named Pennington the starter after Henne was throwing picks at a Cutlerian/Favrean rate, but the oft-injured veteran was injured very early in his return. Pennington reinjured his surgically repaired shoulder, which was already agitated by his notebook paper physique, and this pretty much means his career is over.

Henne, on the other hand, played for most of the first three quarters, ignoring Brandon Marshall with Hall-of-Fame precision, before he eventually took a shot to his knee, dislocating his kneecap and most likely ending his season. Tyler Thigpen took over for the banging Chads in the fourth quarter, and seeing as the former Kansas City Chief is the only QB left in Miami with a solid bill of health, it’s his ship to sink now.

Raise up our new hero, Sun-Sentinel, and let us worship this golden idol:

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With the season-ending “capsule” injury to Chad Pennington and the Miami Dolphins’ subsequent acquisition of the almost-awesomely-named Tyler Thigpen, the focus turns to second-year quarterback Chad Henne, who will get his first career start against Buffalo in the Sunshine State on Sunday.

Henne was a four-year starter at Michigan. He completed 59 percent of his passes. Bill Parcells liked him enough to draft him. All of those things speak well of his ability to step in and perform competently, especially after a week of preparing as the gameday starter. Oh, and they’re playing the Bills and their Pop Warner offense. But breaking in a new QB is the least of Miami’s issues.

Everyone knows the problems with this offense. The receivers stink, Tony Fasano is MIA, etc….But the strength of Henne is his arm strength, we keep being told. And Ted Ginn Jr. has streaked open down the field a few times this year and never been hit. That’s the pass Henne can hit. That’s the one that can change a game.

It’s why Henne really should be a better fit for this offense than Pennington. But saying he’s a better fit doesn’t mean he’s a better quarterback. He’s got to show that. –Dave Hyde.

We’ll see what Miami can muster as the Jets start running away with the AFC East. At 0-3, Miami is already hard-pressed to repeat as division champs. Henne might not be playing to salvage the season, but only to position himself for 2010. also.

Wild Card weekend shot its wad on Saturday, leaving us a pair of miserable Sunday games.  Quick caps:

• Cardinals 30, Falcons 24:  Caw, caw!  Skreeeee! Bird noises!  Compared to Sunday’s losers, the Falcons played admirably, but the Arizona D bottled up Atlanta’s vaunted running game and forced some key turnovers, paving the way for a loss next week in Carolina.
• Chargers 23, Colts 17 (OT): That’s three straight playoff victories for the Bolts against Indy.  Credit for this one goes to Darren Sproles and… Mike Scifres?  Sproles filled in for an injured (surprise) LaDainian Tomlinson, amassing 328 total yards and the game-winning TD that made up for a costly red zone fumble.  Scifres dropped six punts inside the Colts’ 20.
• Ravens 27, Dolphins 9:  Ugh.  You know that scene in Leaving Las Vegas where Elisabeth Shue just sits in the shower and cries after getting anally raped?  That was Chad Pennington after the game yesterday.
• Eagles 26, Vikings 14:  Donovan McNabb in early playoff round + Brian Westbrook + Philly’s blitzing D > Adrian Peterson + (-Tarvaris Jackson).  T-Jack was 15 of 35 for 164 yards and an INT.  He would have thrown more interceptions, but he’s too inaccurate.

Suck-Off winner is a tie between Pennington and T-Jack.  Pennington’s numbers were worse (4 INTs), but man oh man, it blows my mind that Tarvaris Jackson in an NFL quarterback.  He is horrible.