Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco started his tryout with Sporting KC of MLS today, and everyone seems to be covering this like a real story, as if he had a chance to make the team and totally wasn’t being milked for publicity like a common cow. What say you, Hall of Fame mouth Michael Strahan?

Ochocinco was supposed to finish his NFL lockout inspired 4-day trial with Sporting Kansas City tomorrow — but he’s been asked to stick around until Monday so he can participate in their reserve game.

After that … it’s pretty much curtains … a certainty even SKC’s coach is preaching.

But Strahan doesn’t think it’s all for naught … saying, “[SKC] know what they’re doing. Give [Chad] a chance and get a little bit out of him at the same time.”

–TMZ.

Watch video of Chad’s tryout after the jump. I wish Chad would just suck it up and devote all of his energy to starting Major League Kickball.

Vid via Eye On Football.

Cincinnati Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis knows no offseason when it comes to giving grief to his colorful wide receiver Chad Ochocinco. And no, by “colorful” I don’t mean “black,” ya big dummy. Ocho took up an invitation to try out for a Major League Soccer team, and you can imagine how that would go over with an NFL coach.

Here’s Lewis on Ocho’s dalliance with Major League Soccer: “What has he ever done that he’s completed? What circle has he connected in any way?” Lewis asked.

–PFT.

But now some people are wondering why Lewis hasn’t taken the same line with Carson Palmer, who’s threatening to leave town. I thought that was pretty obvious: because Lewis and Palmer have put winning football games above all else, whereas Ochocinco only does and says the things that will keep him on TV. Let’s not forget that Lewis was ready to bolt Cincinnati, too. Hell, Chad might be the only guy that actually wants to play for the Bengals right now. That alone would make him certifiably insane.

It’s pretty common knowledge that Baltimore Raven’s safety Tom Zbikowski began his foray into the world of professional boxing around the time he was drafted out of Notre Dame. And although Tommy Z has put his boxing career on hold to focus on football, it would logically make sense that he had some sort of skill left over from his years of training. There is no room for logic, however, in the mind of Chad Ochocinco, who tweeted the following after Zbikowski stated that he would love to fight the Bengals wide receiver on The Dan Patrick Show:

@tommyzbikowski you wana go nite nite, you want to box me, for 1 your feet are to slow and you’ve no hand speed to even be competitive #smh @ochocinco via Shutdown Corner

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Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco just told ESPN’s Trey Wingo that he intends to change his name back to “Chad Johnson” in time for the 2011 NFL season, assuming there is one. The former Chad Johnson changed his name to an amalgam of the Spanish words for “eight” and “five” before the 2008 season. Chad’s jersey number is 85…obviously.

So was he serious? Who the hell knows. It’s just Chad being Chad. No matter what his name is, he can’t stand not being talked about. We’ll keep watching his Twitter feed and see if Chad does anything else anytime soon, like starting his own country or building a car out of homeless people.

Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco is probably one of those guys that schedules big events in January. Because his team blows, see. But for his 33rd birthday party in Miami earlier this week, Chad managed to run into someone with a lot fewer holes in his schedule–one William Jefferson Clinton.

Of course Bill Clinton showed up at Chad’s birthday party. Clinton, for the record, is 64, and probably gets a Creepy Old Dude At The Club pass for being a former head of state. And since he has been out of office for more than ten years, he finally is rid of his Secret Service detail. That’s a relief; those guys are the biggest cockblockers.

–via the even-tempered Last Angry Fan

"Mister Vick! Mister Vick! Would you please sign my soapy hedgehog?"

We’ll just cut through the drama of setting up the Suck-Off and declare the obvious “winner”: Dallas Cowboys running back Tashard Choice. Choice had 7 rushes in Sunday’s loss to the Eagles for a whopping 16 yards last night, but then he lowered the bar even further when he found Michael Vick and asked him for an autograph.

This isn’t simply breaking unwritten rules. This is throwing the unwritten rulebook into the incinerator and starting an unwritten fire. It’s unfathomable that a guy could lose a close game to a division rival AT HOME and then finding the opposing quarterback. Okay, I just wish it was unfathomable. UPDATE: Choice has since apologized on Twitter, saying that the glove was intended for his young nephew.

Obviously, that still won’t sit well for a lot of football fans. But let’s be fair: if Tony Romo knew how to read, he appeared to be poised to do the same thing. But find me a better illustration of Vick’s resurgence of playmaking and popularity in the NFL. I’m not sure you can.

Other Suck-Off finalists who didn’t come up quite short enough:

Cincinnati Bengals. After sweeping their division last season, the Bengals are now 1-3 against AFC North foes. Nothing sums up the dichotomy between the Bengals and Steelers organization than these two tweets.

Washington Redskins. Donovan McNabb drives his team down the field in the rain to get his team to overtime against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, only to watch Hunter Smith fumble a high snap on what would have been the game-tying extra point. Here‘s a fan video of the botch.