There was a muted furor over whether or not the Bengals’ Vaudevillian wideout Chad Ochocinco should have been allowed to wear Chris Henry’s No. 15 in honor of the teammate whose life was suddenly cut short earlier in the week. After the NFLPA offered to pay his fine, and then said that they didn’t, the NFL stepped in, and then Chad relented. Which is amazing.

It’s amazing because it’s the first time we’ve ever heard the guy say that his actions might be distracting the team. It’s the first time he’s ever acknowledged that, for once, he may not be the most important member of the team. And I don’t think he ever understood that. And he’ll probably forget it again, as the memory of Chris Henry fades and as Ochocinco’s need for theatrics re-emerges.

Chad Johnson wouldn’t have been honoring Henry by wearing Henry’s jersey so much as honoring himself. A better tribute to his fallen teammate would have been to beat San Diego and clinch the AFC North. Or even, you know, come up with more than three catches yesterday. But those things didn’t happen, because even as his team faces adversity both on the field and off, it’s still all about Chad.

A neighbor of the parents of Loleini Tonga witnessed the altercation between Tonga and her late fiance, former Bengals wideout Chris Henry.

Tonga’s neighbor, Lee Hardy, was perched on a 15-foot ladder cutting back some trees when he saw the yellow pickup “zooming” up the Tongas’ gravel driveway just a few yards away. Hardy said a shirtless black man clung to the top and side of the truck while standing in the bed, begging her to stop the vehicle.

“He was banging on the top, on the doors, screaming at the lady, ‘We need to talk,’” Hardy said. “He said, ‘If you take off, I’m going to jump off the truck and kill myself.’” –Cincinnati Enquirer, via Mark Maske.

Chris Henry was later found motionless in a street and pronounced dead yesterday morning. The Bengals went to practice yesterday, carrying out business as usual. Chad Ochocinco wore Henry’s jersey to practice yesterday. Jeez, Chad. Why don’t you grab his wallet and drive around in his car while you’re at it? I’m sure that that’s just Chad’s way of grieving–calling attention to himself. It’s his way of doing a lot of things.

Bengals wideout Chad Ochocinco actually scored in Cincinnati’s win over Green Bay yesterday, burying both the promise of the Packers’ offense and my chances in the With Leather suicide pool. But Ochocinco said that he’d execute the famed “Lambeau Leap” if he found the endzone Sunday, and execute he did.

We’re looking for a sharper image, but even here you can make out the enterprising young Packers’ fan who decided to send a message to the rest of the football-watching world. It’s good to know that some people out there will tell you that you’re No. 1. It’s pretty tame compared to what he could have done, but I appreciate the fact that he came up with something on the fly. I’m a sucker for improv.

Video’s after the jump… Read the rest of this entry »

Seriously, if I wanted to sing about the exploits of ignorant people that don’t seem capable of accomplishing anything, I would have had a kid. But Chad Nacho Pinko is back at it, defying the collectivity of what may very well be the worst excuse for a “team” in the National Football League. No-Show and the Bengals are heading to Green Bay this Sunday, and he’s already thinking about celebrating that touchdown that he probably won’t score:

If he scores on Sunday, Chad Ochocinco says he’s going to do the Lambeau Leap, and that it won’t be a disrespectful display, rather, he’d like Packers fans to embrace him. via.

If he scores, which is like saying “if Michael Jackson comes back from the dead,” which, come to think, would be totally awesome. It’s about time they made a sequel to that “Thriller” video, anyway…I can’t be the first person to have made that comment…

Jesus Christ on a stick, I really could not possibly care less about Chad No-no Thinko. I really can’t. You have to catch more than 53 balls in a season to get on my radar. It’s one thing to get into the mind of an elite athlete that has a bit of quirkiness to his personality. It’s quite another to be Stephon Marbury with a football helmet.

Ochocinco has gone one step beyond [being a garden-variety dipshit]. He’s having a contest on Twitter each week to fly a fan to a Bengals game to be his guest tweeter. via.

And some people think this is “fun” and “awesome” that an active athlete is going out of his way to communicate with fans during the game, but with the way he’s been producing of late, he may not have any fans left. I personally find it awesome when a girl takes her top off in public and says, “Who wants to churn my butter?” That doesn’t mean it’s the best way to spend everyone’s time. I gotta to go back to Amish country soon, if only for the night life.

Chad Ochocinco summarized his impact on the National Football League perfectly last night. After the Bengals scored in the second quarter of their preseason game against the Patriots last night, Chad Ochocinco lined up to kick the extra point–and booted it right down the middle. So the team’s No. 1 receiver risked injury last night to post what would eventually be the game-winning score in a contest with no bearing on the season whatsoever? Sounds about right. Chad, please.

It was somewhat reminiscent of a game involving the Patriots in 2000, when Pats coach Bill Belichick sent backup quarterback Doug Flutie out to drop kick an extra point in one of those meaningless end-of-season games, which he converted. It was the first time anyone had done so in 45 years. But Flutie wasn’t a starter with his whole season in front of him. Nor was his last name an impromptu take on Hispanic heritage. Nobody’s perfect, I guess.