Bengals wideout Chad Ochocinco actually scored in Cincinnati’s win over Green Bay yesterday, burying both the promise of the Packers’ offense and my chances in the With Leather suicide pool. But Ochocinco said that he’d execute the famed “Lambeau Leap” if he found the endzone Sunday, and execute he did.
We’re looking for a sharper image, but even here you can make out the enterprising young Packers’ fan who decided to send a message to the rest of the football-watching world. It’s good to know that some people out there will tell you that you’re No. 1. It’s pretty tame compared to what he could have done, but I appreciate the fact that he came up with something on the fly. I’m a sucker for improv.
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Seriously, if I wanted to sing about the exploits of ignorant people that don’t seem capable of accomplishing anything, I would have had a kid. But Chad Nacho Pinko is back at it, defying the collectivity of what may very well be the worst excuse for a “team” in the National Football League. No-Show and the Bengals are heading to Green Bay this Sunday, and he’s already thinking about celebrating that touchdown that he probably won’t score:
If he scores on Sunday, Chad Ochocinco says he’s going to do the Lambeau Leap, and that it won’t be a disrespectful display, rather, he’d like Packers fans to embrace him. via.
If he scores, which is like saying “if Michael Jackson comes back from the dead,” which, come to think, would be totally awesome. It’s about time they made a sequel to that “Thriller” video, anyway…I can’t be the first person to have made that comment…
Jesus Christ on a stick, I really could not possibly care less about Chad No-no Thinko. I really can’t. You have to catch more than 53 balls in a season to get on my radar. It’s one thing to get into the mind of an elite athlete that has a bit of quirkiness to his personality. It’s quite another to be Stephon Marbury with a football helmet.
Ochocinco has gone one step beyond [being a garden-variety dipshit]. He’s having a contest on Twitter each week to fly a fan to a Bengals game to be his guest tweeter. via.
And some people think this is “fun” and “awesome” that an active athlete is going out of his way to communicate with fans during the game, but with the way he’s been producing of late, he may not have any fans left. I personally find it awesome when a girl takes her top off in public and says, “Who wants to churn my butter?” That doesn’t mean it’s the best way to spend everyone’s time. I gotta to go back to Amish country soon, if only for the night life.
Chad Ochocinco summarized his impact on the National Football League perfectly last night. After the Bengals scored in the second quarter of their preseason game against the Patriots last night, Chad Ochocinco lined up to kick the extra point–and booted it right down the middle. So the team’s No. 1 receiver risked injury last night to post what would eventually be the game-winning score in a contest with no bearing on the season whatsoever? Sounds about right. Chad, please.
It was somewhat reminiscent of a game involving the Patriots in 2000, when Pats coach Bill Belichick sent backup quarterback Doug Flutie out to drop kick an extra point in one of those meaningless end-of-season games, which he converted. It was the first time anyone had done so in 45 years. But Flutie wasn’t a starter with his whole season in front of him. Nor was his last name an impromptu take on Hispanic heritage. Nobody’s perfect, I guess.
Bengals wideout Chad Ochocinco is the latest athlete to grab hold of streaming video and beat it into the ground. The Ocho Cinco Show streamed earlier this morning on Ustream.tv and is already off the air. C’mon, Chad. Stephon Marbury was doing this for like 4 days and you barely made it past lunch. No wonder Carson Palmer hates you so much. Actually, that might have more to do with the fact that you run your mouth all week during the season and then perpetually come up short on gameday. Potato, p’totto.
During the stream, Chad praised himself for being out of bed before noon and spoke on the phone with NFL Network analyst Warren Sapp and Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis, but he decided that it was too early to call 50 Cent, a dude with whom he’s “not that close.”
When asked whom he preferred between Halle Berry and Tyra Banks, Chad suggested putting them together and “You got a Halle Banks!” And to think people are paying Stuart Scott money to sit in front of a camera when Ochocinco’s willing to do it for free.
Nobody knows for sure whether the former Chad Johnson changed his name for purposes of marketing, publicity, general tomfoolery (my vote), or because he’s now married to Alberto Ochocinco of Sarasota, Florida. Whatever the reason, there seem to be more seats available on the Ocho Cinco bandwagon heading into 2009. From Darren Rovell, a swell guy who hands the ball back to the referee every time:
In October 2006, Johnson first unveiled “Ocho Cinco” on his jersey for a game in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month. Before the game, Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer ripped off the “Ocho Cinco” to reveal the usual “C. Johnson” on the back of his jersey. Even though Johnson was fined $5,000 by the league, he went ahead and made the name change permanent less than two years later.
Johnson sells T-shirts on a site that read “Ocho Cinco,” but the league will only let him wear and market official league products using the name as one word because that is how he filled it out on the name change application.
Has anyone destroyed his name in more of a literal and figurative sense than this guy? Chad has created two alternate names: the two-word name that he wished to be his current moniker, and the one-word name that he’s legally required to wear by the league. And now with Houshmanzadeh having bolted for Seattle, that case of Surname Envy should be long gone before training camp. But the herpes? That’s the gift that keeps on giving.
