If you weren’t taking inventory of your beef jerky and pornography for the rapture on Saturday, there’s a good chance that you tuned into the 136th annual Preakness Stakes to see Shackleford out-horse the rest of this year’s equine contenders. Shackleford notably surrendered the lead to Animal Kingdom at the Kentucky Derby earlier this year, and it appeared to be déjà vu all over again as Kingdom made a late run at the Preakness title. But Shackleford held Kingdom off to eliminate any hopes of a Triple Crown win this year, so now we can talk about what really matters – girls in bikinis.

Everyone knows that the real Preakness highlights take place at the infield party, and this year’s party was off the chain, hook and any other slang terms that the kids use these days. Not only could you check out the ladies of the 2011 Jagermeister International Bikini Contest, but you could also stalk hang out with infield hostess and former WWE star Stacy Keibler, as well as enjoy music by Bruno Mars and Train. Did I say enjoy? Sorry, that was careless of me.

There were also plenty of sort-of-celebrities in attendance, and the Baltimore Sun’s extensive Preakness coverage captured all of the action, including the bikinis and celebs.

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Among other highlights from last night’s Super Bowl, Fox made sure that we were repeatedly aware that there were some pretty big stars in attendance. For instance, NFL legend John Madden was sitting next to George W. and Laura Bush, while Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore sat behind them. Wait, how did the guy with the most Twitter followers get backseat to Bush and Condoleezza Rice? Ashton is so beloved that he should have been able to sit on Aaron Rodgers’ shoulders, dammit.

But stealing the show for the celebs were New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez and aging Batman villain Cameron Diaz, who were shown as Diaz was feeding popcorn to A-Rod. It was really quite adorable, especially the way she sprinkled the HGH on each kernel ever so gently.

Video after the jump…

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Last week, the Hollywood Reporter posted an in-depth breakdown of Los Angeles Lakers celebrity fans and where they sit at games. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or a blogger who uses MS Paint to draw body fluids on faces to know that a lot of famous people attend Lakers games. From Jack Nicholson and that guy who looks like Donald Sutherland but is really the dad of Cisco Adler to David Arquette’s crazy ass and Khloe Kardashian’s custom park bench, Lakers games are a veritable Who’s Who of Hey Look, Those Guys Pretend To Like Basketball.

So that got me thinking, “Hey Burnsy, you’re ridiculously intelligent, who are some of the famous fans of the other 29 teams in the NBA and where do they sit at their respective teams’ games?” And so I had sex with a few Victoria’s Secret models and then I got started on this incredibly detailed list and graphics to back it all up. And yes, it’s in slideshow format, because Adriana Lima told me she would leave Marko Jaric for me if I made a slideshow… DEAL. WITH. IT.

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