As regular readers of the Best and Worst of WWE Raw column may know, when it comes to the world of sports-entertainment (read: “sports that aren’t actually sports”), there are few people more beloved at With Leather than WWE Superstar Cody Rhodes. The guy has it all. As the son of The American Dream Dusty Rhodes and brother of Dustin “Goldust” Rhodes he’s got a legit pro wrestling pedigree, he’s a former Intercontinental and Tag Team champion, he’s in a tag team with his BEST FRIEND~, he’s engaged to one of the most ridiculously beautiful women in the world and can grow … well, most of a mustache.

If you need further proof of Cody’s greatness, he answered “Morgan Freeman” when asked the Fight Club classic, “If you could fight any celebrity, who would you fight?” His explanation of why is even better than the image of Lucius Fox eating a Cross Rhodes:

When asked which celebrity he’d like to wrestle, Cody cheekily answered: “Morgan Feeman, because I feel like I could win because he’s old; although I’m sure he’s tough. But then we could sell it and he could narrate the match, like he narrates everything. He could explain everything because he’s such a great storyteller he could tell the story of me beating him. That would be wonderful.” (via Sowetan Live)

Cody Rhodes wants to beat up Morgan Freeman so he can win an easy fight and have it narrated. The only way that could be better is if Damien Sandow had overheard the interview, wondered aloud who Morgan Freeman was, then launched into a thing about how he wanted to Sir Walter Raleigh.

Readers, here’s your question for the day: If you could wrestle (or, for clarity’s sake, fight) a celebrity, who’d you choose? Let us know in the comments section below. I’m calling Zach Braff.

If you haven’t seen it by now, WWE.com put together their list of the 50 Most Beautiful People In Wrestling Sports-Entertainment History. Like a lot of WWE.com lists, it was fine, but it was also full of sketchy choices. Erick Bischoff? Jack Brisco? Sable higher than Maryse? Triple H at #44?

For better or worse, the list got us talking. Pro wrestling wasn’t created as a job opportunity for pretty people, but a lot of beautiful people have wandered through it in our lifetime, so who would I pick? Who would my friends pick, or the people I know who write about wrestling online, or wrestlers themselves?

The answer? We’re doing a re-list.

I got together with 27 (!) important internet wrestling types — including pro wrestlers from WWE to the independent circuit, comedians, writers, podcasters, the UPROXX network staff and even fans — to put together a more in-touch rebuttal to WWE’s list. It’s a look at who we think really deserves a spot on the top 50, and … you’re already flipping through the list, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll shut up.

Here is your CELEBRITY (AND OTHER PEOPLE) GUEST PANEL. These people were nice enough to help out, and deserve your love and follow:

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"LA LA LA LA LA! We can't hear you telling us how stupid this is!"

You know when your favorite sports team sucks and you’re like halfway through the season, so the owner fires the head coach and names some random schmuck the interim coach? And then you just wait and wait, and you keep telling yourself, “Be patient, when the season’s over, we’re going to hire the best coach available this time, some up-and-coming, energetic assistant who is aching to get a shot to prove he can run the whole show!” Finally, that day comes, and your team is the center of every coaching candidate rumor, and every analyst keeps saying, “This team will definitely hire that guy, because he’s the best option” and you’re just fist-pumping away, because YES! They’re about to finally make the right decision and this horrible experience will be over!

And then your team hires Dave Wannstedt and you’re like, “F*CK!” That’s how I feel today after reading that drag racer Alexis DeJoria is engaged to Jesse James after the couple has dated for a whopping month. In case you need a refresher, DeJoria was part of the recent Toyota Racing Dream Build Challenge, but she’s also a very wealthy heiress.

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People are stupid. That’s obviously a running theme around here, but the thing is that celebrities know that people are stupid. Even stupid celebrities know that people are stupid, because that’s how those morons are even famous in the first place. Fortunately for those stupid celebrities, they’re surrounded by people who want to make money off of them, and they’re smart enough to understand the 15 Minutes concept. And that’s the reason why the greatest 14:59 marketing push has always been the celebrity exercise video.

Celebrities are usually in great shape because they have teams of trainers and dieticians that help them around the clock, because if Kim Kardashian didn’t have people helping her, she’d be more ass than a donkey farm. Marketing teams, though, know that they can capitalize off of the public’s stupidity by letting us believe that celebrities just have some inside knowledge on what it takes to keep it tight. They don’t. But that won’t stop them from profiting.

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That's actually how I picture Dax Sheppard any time I hear his name.

The Teen Choice Awards took place last night in the fourth level of hell Los Angeles, and once again the big winners were the PR and marketing teams of Hollywood film and TV studios that busted their asses the hardest to make sure that people teenagers have never heard of inexplicably won awards. For instance, Zoe Saldana won Choice Movie Actress: Action for Colombiana, a film that .000000001% of teenagers actually saw. However, she won because she showed up, unlike Jennifer Lawrence, who would have won, because every teenage girl on Earth would have voted for her for The Hunger Games.

But that’s a different story for a different site. Instead, let’s pay tribute to those trendy teens and their sports heroes, as they once again voted to select the most relevant athletes of the day. The 2012 Teen Choice Award for Choice Male Athlete is David Beckham, while Choice Female Athlete is Serena Williams. Well, I am absolutely OUTRAG… actually, that’s not terrible. Beckham just re-upped with the reigning MLS Champions (I’d still have expected LeBron James to win), while Williams won both the singles and doubles titles at Wimbledon. So if teens indeed voted for them, I’m relieved. Of course, neither Beckham nor Williams showed up and Shaun White was the only actual athlete in attendance, but I guess it’s progress.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the future of this planet and our youth as a whole. Join me for a mini-rant after the jump, will you?

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Matt Damon is currently in Mexico for production of his latest film, Elysium, in which he plays an ex-convict with a shaved head (what, I’m not on FilmDrunk’s dollar today), and he decided to go against every travel warning in North America and partake in some local cultures away from his highly-protected hotel suite. Seriously, I know Mexican people who won’t go to Mexico anymore, but Damon wants to party, so who’s going to tell him no?

Unfortunately, the cultural pastime in question was bullfighting, a controversial Latin American “sport” that pits a strangely dressed man with a red cape against a giant, pissed off bull that has already been wounded to make it easier for the dude in the bedazzled Capri pants to win. But while Mexicans love their bullfighting, us cultured folk here in the U.S. of A equally love passing judgment, and I assume that Damon has a huge heap of judgment coming his way.

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