This is C.C. She’s a year and a half old. She can recite the retired numbers for the New York Yankees.

Okay, so she has a little help, but f**k you, she’s not even two. I’m a grown-up with a sports blog and I can’t recite the Cleveland Indians retired numbers without facepalming for five minutes. YOU try remembering Mel Harder! Anyway, C.C. (who shares a name with a Yankee, and is very excited about that fact) is adorable, thinks her daddy is the team captain of the New York Yankees and does a pretty-okay job of spitting out “Mattingly.”

YouTube user KylePMore sums up the clip nicely:

Read the rest of this entry »

If that preview image doesn’t make you click the link, maybe this will: at one point in Taiwan’s “New York Yankees didn’t make the World Series” epic, Alex Rodriguez draws a sex emoticon on a ball and gets it tossed to a lady. Yep.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Here Are 15 ‘Adorable’ Halloween Costumes For Kids That Are Actually Quite Horrifying |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Bruno Mars (And Tom Hanks) |Warming Glow|

Holy Sh*t. Nic Cage in talks to star in a Left Behind reboot. |Film Drunk|

Excessive GIF Theater: How To React To Christian Ponder Dating Samantha Steele |With Leather|

Five Historical Eras The Assassin’s Creed Franchise Should Explore Next |Gamma Squad|

8 Ways Beyonce Could Pay Homage To New Orleans During The Super Bowl Halftime Show |Smoking Section|

Pizza Bloody Mary: Football Foodie Brunch Cocktails |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Read the rest of this entry »

Taiwan’s Next Media Animation has really gone above and beyond with their latest effort, calmly titled, “New York Yankees 2012 season goes off the rails”. Taiwan Animation generally sticks to recapping major stories with a keen sarcastic eye for the absurdity of truth, but now they’re in the predictions game, and that game includes saying C.C. Sabathia has gained so much weight that whenever he goes to the beach “Greenpeace tries to drag his ass back into the water”. They are not playing around.

I hate the Yankees as much as the next guy, but no part of “tied for first in the AL East with the Baltimore Orioles” necessitates the entire New York infield playing with the aid of walkers or calling Derek Jeter an “overrated singles slapper”. I don’t know if these things are written by committee or just by random dudes on the Internet approached by violent strangers in pig masks a la the Saw movie franchise, but man, this is extra harsh. Consider that Tampa is five games back on September 17 and … wait, am I trying to rationalize this with stats? F**k New York and their pirate ship adventures.

If New York wins the division, I’ll expect a full retraction from Next Media Animation. I also expect it to be bat-shit insane.

Much to no one’s surprise, the Oklahoma City Thunder are currently the best team in the NBA, as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook continue their strange “I’m not better than him but I’m secretly better than him” routine, and the Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat have all but locked up their eventual meeting in the Eastern Conference Finals. And as I pointed out yesterday, while I might be a little biased, the Orlando Magic’s incredible collapse is probably the most interesting story in the NBA right now.

Other than that, all eyes are on the trade mill, so essentially the Magic are the focus of everyone with Dwight Howard standing firm with his preferred teams of the Los Angeles Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Lakers and New Jersey Nets. Of course he’s also said that he’d play for the Boston Celtics or Chicago Bulls, but it’s clear as day that he wants to play in New Jersey or Brooklyn or wherever, and Magic GM Otis Smith is way too stubborn to trade him, so Howard will most likely sign there as a free agent.

Everything else is pretty much business as usual. So let’s make fun of everyone, shall we?

Read the rest of this entry »

Despite a rumor that had him pitching for a team that doesn’t make me want to kill myself, New York Yankees ace C.C. Sabathia jumped on the Internet on Halloween night to post a YouTube video announcing his brand new — and dare I say, fat — contract extension. The particulars of the deal, from Rumors and Rants:

The New York Yankees have reportedly agreed to a new deal with left-handed hurler CC Sabathia that will add $30 million to his existing contract. Sabathia had the opportunity to opt out of his deal this offseason and this move ensures that he will be in the Bronx for the near future.

Sabathia had until midnight to opt out of his current pact, which had $92 million remaining over the next four years, as he was scheduled to make $23 million each of the next four seasons. The new deal will add a year to the deal (2016) at $25 million, and gives the Yankees a $25 million option year in 2017, with a $5 million buyout. So basically the Yankees guaranteed Sabathia an extra year and at least an extra $30 million to convince him to stay.

C.C., the guy who took out a big ad in the newspaper thanking Cleveland Indians fans for not completely turning on him until he’d left the room, didn’t mention how the contract makes 2017 guaranteed if he spends x-amount of time off the disabled list or any of the particulars you might scan the wire for … he just wished us all a Happy Halloween, thanked the Steinbrenner family for making his literal and figurative never-ending buffet of financial success a reality, and said how excited he was to see everyone (even Greg Golson?) at the ballpark next year. I know he plays for the Evil Empire and all, but I feel like if you hate C.C. Sabathia, you might be doing it wrong.

You can watch the video below. Warning: It is a blonde wig and some karaoke song lyrics away from being a Shaq video.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard being a Cleveland Indians fan in central Texas, but it has its perks; I was able to get a Cliff Lee Rangers jersey for eight dollars off the discount rack at Academy Sports. According to a report from ESPN, my next adventure in “supporting great players who play near me but left my favorite team years ago” could be New York Yankees pitcher and former Cy Young award-winning Tribesman C.C. Sabathia.

The Texas Rangers, likely to lose starter C.J. Wilson to free agency over the winter, are preparing to make a strong bid to sign CC Sabathia if the New York Yankees ace chooses to exercise the opt-out clause in his contract, a baseball source told ESPNNewYork.com.

“I hear they’re going to throw a boatload of money at him,” said the source, who requested anonymity.

I’m going to take a wild guess and say the anonymous source was “a guy on the Internet who follows baseball”. It’d be great if it was A.J. Burnett, unfolding some grand Machiavellian plot to usurp the Opening Day starter position. Regardless, the source goes on to say “no but I think he’ll stay in New York”, but I didn’t put that in the blockquote because 1) it undermines the entire point of the story, so I don’t know why ESPN chose to include it and 2) I would really like C.C. Sabathia to pitch for the Rangers. Nolan Ryan loves workhorse pitchers, and when Sabathia pitched in Milwaukee he was a feedbag away from making that figure of speech literal.

Now all we need to do is bring back Cliff Lee, get Cleveland to unload Grady Sizemore for 20 dollars and some A-leaguers (extremely likely, if you follow the Tribe) and put something racist on the hats and we’ll be all set.