I don’t know why Anna-Megan Raley blogs for CBS Houston under the name Claire Crawford, but after last week, I assume it’s because it allowed her to get away with writing incendiary click bait with headlines like, “Is This Girl ‘Too Chunky’ To Be An OKC Thunder Cheerleader?” Yeah, sh*t just got real.

First, let’s consider some actual talking points for the Oklahoma City Thunder in the first round of the NBA Playoffs. For starters, there’s the question of how the team plans to return to the Finals with Russell Westbrook out for the playoffs after knee surgery. One step further, there’s the timing of Kevin Durant’s Sports Illustrated cover, on which he claims he’s ready to be the NBA’s No. 1, as he must now carry the Thunder on his back. And there are obviously many more angles one could run with, but Raley believed that a Thunder dancer’s muffin top was the Pulitzer magnet.

Raley drew the ire of her site’s readers and beyond when she asked the aforementioned question of Thunder dancer Kelsey Williams, who you can see in the banner image.

Read the rest of this entry »

Warming Glow usually handles weekly recaps of Saturday Night Live right after it airs. As a site that updates Monday through Friday we don’t always get that timely Sunday morning bump, but SNL covered the Super Bowl Blackout and I’ll be damned if I don’t dedicate a post to Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe impression.

Here’s what the folks at WG (where I one day hope to lord over everyone with my ‘Arthur’ jokes and terrible pro wrestling recaps) had to say about the cold open:

Nice of the SNL makeup department to make Tim Robinson look like Bill Cowher’s thawed-out corpse. Anyway, the cold open started slowly before delivering some solid lines in the final two minutes. JB (the black JB, not the wannabe-black JB) admitting he’s never actually seen 2 Broke Girls was a nice touch, and making Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe reveal, “Ray Lewis knows who killed those people, because it was him!” was what was missing from last episode’s Weekend Update Ray-Ray appearance. Not a great opener, but not bad, either.

If you missed it, video is below. I guess they couldn’t find a realistic Dan Marino wig.

Read the rest of this entry »

This isn’t really anything new. Each year, at least one controversial company submits a Super Bowl commercial for airtime approval and it is shot down because no matter what the content is, the network wants nothing to do with that company. It could be a 5-second spot of an open field, but as long as that 5-seconds concludes with a NAMBLA logo, that spot will never see airtime. That’s why it comes as no surprise that CBS shot down PornHub’s oh-so-innocent 20-second spot for Super Bowl 47.

The spot, which you can view after the jump, features two old people sitting on a bench. That’s it. Well, there’s also some light music, but there’s nothing else out of the ordinary that might suggest, say, amateur bondage or a Brazilian fart fetish, but the mere inclusion of that PornHub logo is a dead giveaway that no network would have even taken a second glance.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t watch much reality TV, let alone any of the CBS blockbuster Survivor, but I’d been keeping my ear to the TV in the other room this season as my girlfriend watched, because as a rule, anything that involves Jeff Kent is usually outstanding. That’s not to say that I like the former San Francisco Giants second baseman. But he has built one of the greatest a-hole reputations, whether he deserved it or not.

Kent has been pretty irrelevant since retiring, and I simply assumed that he’d never be allowed anywhere near a broadcast booth, so I was a little surprised that CBS was willing to give him a spot on Survivor. However, it tickles my funny bone ever so that most or all of his opponents/castmates had no clue who he was, because if they had known, he would have been booted the first week.

Instead, Kent made it to the midseason point, and after he was voted off last night, he laid down one of the greatest sound bites of the year.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not a big fan of NASCAR. I like making Danica Patrick jokes as much as the next guy, but my best racing memory is the time Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was on ‘King Of The Hill’, so I don’t write about it a lot. When we get a chance to talk to Ricky Stenhouse, Jr., I let Burnsy handle it.

That all being said, I had to share this clip of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., reading a letter to his 16-year old self from ‘CBS This Morning’. It’s a powerful, moving look at a guy who was born into privilege, forced to grow under one of the biggest, darkest shadows ever and brought to tears by the knowledge that he should’ve been a lot nicer to his Mom. He’s incredibly human here, and I’ll never be able to think of Dale Jr. as “the guy from commercials for products I’m not interested in” again.

Check out the video after the jump. Sorry for it being baby-sized, CBS doesn’t really operate for people our age.

Read the rest of this entry »

Contained in this video:

1. The Dallas Mavericks on the “Late Show with David Letterman” reading a top-10 list about the best parts of winning an NBA Championship.

2. David Letterman with his head down, solemnly reading his script like he’d rather somewhere cleaning the chin grease out of Jay Leno’s 1922 LaFayette. (Also, Dave trying to remember names of basketball teams)

3. Dallas Mavericks players who speak English as a second language trying to deliver wordy punchlines from the writers of “Late Show with David Letterman”.

4. A funny appearance from Caron Butler, who is still my favorite Dallas Maverick because of how good I am with him in NBA Jam.

5. Mark Cuban’s impossibly straight upper row of teeth

Not contained in this video:

1. Any discussion about Jason Terry getting traded to Which Wich? for a large Pepperoni Pizzawich© and a bag of Lay’s potato chips. They could’ve at least included that pimply-faced kid who hands me a water cup and stands forlornly behind his tip jar. Since when did Nike make Which Wich basketball jerseys, and where can I order one?

2. Randy Orton running in at any point and RKO’ing Mark Cuban, which is the only time I’ve ever notably enjoyed Mark Cuban.

3. Conan O’Brien (just saying)

4. DeShawn Stevenson. “Wandering around drunk in an apartment complex while pondering funny new dick t-shirts” would’ve been a great number eleven.