Several days ago, With Leather’s editor was enough of a women’s softball nerd to report that Majorish League pitcher Casey Daigle and Olympic gold medalist Jennie Finch had given birth to their second son and named him like a minor league mascot. It’s been a slow news week (with the biggest story so far being about thirty seconds of O.J. Simpson killing his wife) so Baby Name-Gate has started to circulate and was a top headline today on Yahoo News.

As one of the first sports blogs to report the story, I feel it is my responsibility to reveal my source. That source is a fictionalized version Ms. Finch herself, and I’m proud to reproduce here the chat transcript I observed. After you’re done, come back to the main page and refresh, because I’ve got a story going up about Cat Osterman naming her newborn “Dog”.

Today’s Diesel Dean Daigle Dugout dollows. Follows.

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As an Olympic gold medalist who also happens to be super hot, Jennie Finch is one of the most famous and recognizable women in the history of softball. Her husband, pitcher Casey Daigle, has spent about thirty games in the big leagues since 2004. They named their first kid “Ace”, because yeah, okay, they like pitching. “Ace Daigle” kinda sounds like a porn name, but it’s cute enough. It wasn’t until the birth announcement for their second son on Sunday that the red flags started going up.

Via People (not sure which ones):

Jennie Finch delivered her and Casey Daigle‘s second son, Diesel Dean Daigle, on Sunday, June 19 at 10:25 p.m., the couple confirm to PEOPLE exclusively. Diesel weighed in at 8 lbs., 2 oz. and is 22 1/4 inches long. He joins big brother Ace Shane, 5, at home.

“We are so completely grateful and beyond blessed,” the softball star, 30, tells PEOPLE. “Casey and I are excited for our sweet precious Baby D! Ace couldn’t be any more pumped to be a big brother to Diesel.”

A day into his life and his Mom is already making “pumped” jokes about Diesel. Diesel Dean Daigle. Diesel Daigle! “Diesel Dean” makes him sound like he should be hosting a CGI children’s cartoon. Hey kids, come along and help Diesel Dan fix his 18-wheeler! And big brother Ace can’t be any more pumped, because now he’s one of TWO kids in the Daigle household named like a minor league mascot. What’re they gonna name their third kid, Spike? Buster? Dress him like a dragon and call him Buster.

Here’s to hoping that 3D (they named their son after Doritos) is like eight foot eleven by the time he starts middle school, so nobody will make fun of him. He’ll have to be tough so he can stick up for his sister Awesome Mitt Daigle.