The NBA and Turner Broadcasting, the company that owns TNT, are planning to expand the NBA’s programming reach to younger audiences. Because children are our future unless we stop them.

Cartoon Network is partnering with the NBA to develop basketball-themed programming, with one series already in development.

Expanding Cartoon parent company Turner’s 25-year-old relationship with the sports organization, the new arrangement calls for the network to create new content on-air, online and for mobile devices. First in the pipeline is a shortform series called “My Dad’s a Pro,” following the children of NBA players that will debut at the start of the NBA season this fall.

I guess show concepts like Daddy’s Tattoo Says He Loves Me, Daddy And That Girl With The Big Boobies Are Just Friends, and Daddy’s Only Going To Jail Because He Majored In Criminal Justice In College won’t be getting onto CN anytime soon. It’s too bad, because a sports-themed Adult Swim show would be quite awesome. Like The Harlem Globetrotters gang-banging Velma and Daphne from Scooby-Doo awesome. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those lousy kids. Kids ruin everything.

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This is Caitlin Davis, the now-former New England Patriots cheerleader who whipped out a pack of Sharpies to scribble on a passed-out friend and then posted her creativity on Facebook. Apparently the Patriots’ no-cartoon-penis policy is in full effect (though that marking on dude’s chin couldn’t have helped matters, either). The Boston Herald confirmed that Caitlin is officially Audi 5000 from the Patriots.

[W]e understand that Caitlin was dismissed as soon as the team brass became aware of the Facebook fiasco.

As you most certainly know, team owners Bob and Myra Kraft are huge in the Anti-Defamation League and, while Caitlin might have been given a pass on the penises, the swastikas were a no-go.”

This is just the kind of thing I needed to get my mind off the election. And let’s be honest: Aryan supremacy has never been sexier, even in a geographic area of the country traditionally predisposed to racism. Look for Caitlin to bounce back from this ordeal with the release of her upcoming children’s book, The Most Penisy Penis That Ever Penised. It’s a human story, really.

[via Sports Crackle Pop]

The braintrust behind the part-rock, part-hip-hop, all-cartoon group Gorillaz, frontman Damon Albarn and artist Jamie Hewlett, have teamed to create an entertaining athletic cartoon supermonkey (and pals) who will do all manner of outrageous hijinx that will be more entertaining than the Olympics themselves. Of course, it's for the BBC. Most Americans will have to make due with overwrought schmaltz from their networks. Cloying back stories? You bet! 

The concept is based around Journey to the West, a famous Chinese novel, published in the 1590s and considered one of the four most important works of fiction in China's history. It follows a monk with several disciples, including a monkey, as they battle increasingly fierce demons on a quest to retrieve Buddhist scriptures for China.

"Monkey and the characters will travel across China to Beijing.

"While they will use magical powers to fight off various monsters and demons, they'll also use all sorts of Olympic sports as well. So Monkey might use gymnastic powers, Pigsy will be hurdling and Sandy uses taekwondo."

A shame it's not the Winter Olympics, for monsters and demons are loathe to deal with curling powers. Too bad for Sandy, though. Even in cartoons does taekwondo blow.

It begs the question why there can't be more monkeys involved in the actual ceremonies. If there are legions of them snatching your bags for shadowy thieves, surely they can train a few to bring the medals to the stands. Sure, the medals will be covered in feces and parasites, but it's not like the winners are going to wear them long anyway.