Perhaps because the disturbing print ad wasn't memorable enough, Bengals QB Carson Palmer has filmed a commercial promoting John Morrell's hot beef.  The FanHaus has the rundown on all the innuendo in the video, but I think it's pretty tame.  It's not like Carson puts a hot dog between his buns or anything.  However, I'm a little surprised that the clip of him fellating a hot dog got left on the cutting room floor.  It was really beautiful to watch.  Soft focus, low light.  Very tasteful and artistic.

Yesterday, after a reader made a fun little twist on the ridiculous Joey Porter "Prevent Crime" billboard, I put out a call for other PSA billboards you'd like to see.  Some of the intrepid readers tried their hand at Photoshop, others brainstormed in the comments.  So feel free to take credit for these, but let's be honest: With Leather's Photoshoppeur 289 did the real legwork here.  For once.

Anyway, here are the results in one big bukkake blast, because I'll be retiring this gag immediately.  The last thing I want to do is get backlash from running a billboard gag into the ground.  Not when I've got stripper jokes and dead hooker jokes to re-use.

Gatorade.  Under Armour.  Reebok.  These are good endorsements to have.  After seeing the FanHaus's terrific find, I'm thinking maybe it's a good idea to pass on the hot dog ads.  Unless I was in college, but that was only once, and I was drunk and just curious.

Although… perhaps Brady Quinn is interested?

Bengal Number Nine got arrested, and Carson Palmer is sick of this bullshit.

“If it doesn’t stop, we’re not going to have any fans left and I don’t blame them. It’s ridiculous… We can’t get through a month without getting a guy arrested. It happens on another team and they’re shocked and surprised to hear about it. With us, you hear about it and it doesn’t surprise you and you just shake your head and say, ‘Another one.’ ”

How is Palmer supposed to understand? Not only is he white, but he went to USC. The University of Spoiled Children, I believe it's called. That's where you can do all the designer drugs you want and the cops won't fuck with you because somebody's Daddy will END YOU if you try to arrest them.

I, for one, am growing a little weary of this nickel-and-dime misdemeanor crap. What's a guy gotta do to get a vehicular manslaughter around here?

…well, yeah: "Kill someone with a car" is the correct answer. But I was being rhetorical.