When a guy gets pulled over while being a passenger in his own car, that’s interesting. When it’s Allen Iverson, it’s almost an automatic post. Iverson’s 2007 Lamborghini Murcielago was pulled over almost two weeks ago, according to police report recently made public, after the car made a lane change without signaling. The cop on the scene saw that the vehicle’s tags were expired, and called for a tow truck.

You can imagine how well that went over with Iverson.

“Take the vehicle, I have 10 more,” he reportedly told [Officer S.J.] Durham. “Police don’t have anything else [expletive] to do except [expletive] with me. … Do you know who I am?”

For the next 20 minutes, according to the officer, Iverson “went on and on” about who he was.

“I stated to Mr. Iverson, it really doesn’t matter who you are,” Durham wrote. “You tried to conceal your vehicle with a fake drive-out tag due to you not paying for your tags.”

–AJC, via Quickish.

Iverson would later apologize to police. The registration on an ’07 Lamborghini runs about $10,000, which sounds like a lot, until you realize it’s for a Lamborghini. HE’S TOTALLY RICH AND SHOULD HAVE TO PAY HIS FAIR SHARE. At least now Iverson can give some attention to his ten other cars. After all, the best things in life are free, at least until you need a ride somewhere.

To call this anything short of a tragedy would be wrong, but when nine people on bikes were injured by an automobile in Brazil, one has to ask, critically, “How did this happen?” Fortunately, there were no fatalities.

It would take nine people getting plowed by a Volkswagen before I would ever hear of Critical Mass, the subversive worldwide bike network that organizes monthly rallies. But now I have, and I was surprised to learn that these were not “bikers,” but cyclists on bicycles. Their Wikipedia entry suggests that their intentions are more social than political, but even those participating in the monthly rides admit that the groups’ own social courtesies, such as sharing the road, become lost concepts.

Critical Mass has a different flavor from city to city — there’s a big variety in size, respect of traffic laws (or lack thereof), interaction with motorists, and intervention by police. So if you want to know more about Critical Mass, you’ll really need to find out what your local ride is like.

–Michael Bluejay/Critical-Mass.Info.

And if you give that site a gander, you can see that even the guy running it got tired of the tactics of some of their groups. The driver reportedly had his 15-year-old son in the car with him, and one would doubt that the father set out to teach his kid how to mow down a pack of Brazilian hippies. Richard Neis, 47, would abandon his vehicle before giving himself up to authorities.

But yeah, running over people is bad, but this is what cycling will have to do to get back into the news without Lance Armstrong. Am I right, America?

–via Deadspin.

Cars make terrible obelisks, or so I thought before I saw this “pile-up” on I-93. Seriously, how the hell does a car stand up on its nose like that? The video after the jump only shows the aftermath of the incident. Not the…before-math. That’s not a word, but a car standing on its front license plate deserves its own nose.

It’s not a seal. So is this technically a “crash”? Or maybe even “performance art?” I only know two things. One: this really isn’t sports-related. Two: that car was almost certainly driven by a woman. Try driving with all four wheels on the ground, honey. You’ll like it, I promise.

via @JimmyTraina
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The Tesla Roadster is an electric car powered by over 6,000 lithium-ion batteries. The California-manufactured coupe gets about 200 miles per charge, and will cost you just over $100,000 to take home, pricing out all but the wealthiest of treehuggers. Oh, and it will document your every move you make while driving it, a discovery made by a guy that had to hack into the computer on his own car.

Many vehicles record some brief bursts of data in their onboard computer systems, which can easily be accessed by owners with some auto store tools. But the all-electric Tesla Roadster keeps far more extensive track of itself, taking a snapshot of the vehicle’s driving and brake regeneration every second, minute and hour its driven, along with details of its charging cycles dating back to when it left the factory. –Jalopnik.

I’ll just come out and say it: electric cars, as they stand today, are a joke. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love nothing more than to never visit a gas pump again, but this recent surge of environmental awareness this prissy hipster vibe that makes me want to burn a giant pile of plastic. These “green” cars powered by coal-burning electricity aren’t cost-effective enough to be rational buys for the average consumer. Having Big Brother riding shotgun just makes it worse. At least this car doesn’t look like a Viagra pill on wheels. Nobody wants to see that.

When a student decides to take a peek at the classified ads in order to secure a job that they can quit within the month to qualify for a welfare check that’s bigger than the one they’d get for working 40 hours a week, options usually revolve around working at the Fresh Grocer and helping old people out of their soiled Depends. Well, it’s time to get jealous of New Zealand because they have blokes who want to hire you just to whisk them around in a $200,000 car.

Our protagonist Gary Richards is on the prowl for a young lad or lassie to do just that after he was busted for an impaired driving charge. He’s also most likely looking to re-create some scenes from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

A man in New Zealand posted an ad at Student Job Search in Auckland saying he was looking for a tidy and positive student to drive him to business appointments during the summer months. The best part: They’d have to drive his Hummer and Lamborghini.

The ad said the driver would be needed during business hours Monday to Friday, but they’d be permitted to study while the employer was in meetings. -cnews

Does this guy have a death wish? Why’s he asking for a kid who’s ‘tidy and positive’ when a car that can top 200 MPH is in the equation? I’d ask for a great driver who isn’t afraid to give up his life to save me when the car inevitably turns into fiery wreckage. Experience playing Gran Turismo on the Playstation would be a bonus. And probably a leather jacket.

A group of California high school students have been reprimanded for a racing game that some referred to as “Beating the Jew.” A handful of students driving cars would chase a single student (the “Jew,” if you will), running on foot. But there was only one problem with the school administrators and local authorities looking to lash out with retribution: they never committed a crime.

All people involved are willing participants in the game, Desert Sands Unified School District Superintendent Sharon McGehee said.[..]

La Quinta police Lt. Jason Huskey said that if all players are willing participants, the game likely does not carry criminal implications.

“If a bunch of kids are playing a game and they’re voluntarily playing a game … it doesn’t appear to have any criminal liability,” he said. –The Desert Sun [Palm Springs, CA]

There have been calls for the students to be expelled from school, despite the fact that the races never took place on school grounds. Hey, at least they were outside, with one or participants actually getting exercise. Nobody flipped out whenever kids were playing “Cowboys and Indians.” But I suppose that killing and oppressing Native American nations has been such a time-honored tradition by our culture that it was just passed off as celebrating our heritage. Yay protestants! Films and documentaries about the Holocaust are our modern-day parallel to the westerns that pervaded the airwaves and cinema of our earlier generations. Having said all of that, hopefully their tradition will continue after they decide to pick another name. May I be the first to suggest “Beating Tecumseh?” Thanks, Jack.