Our Man Burnsy’s on the road today, so I’m handling the With Leather Watch This. Who likes shoehorned-in wrestling references? Everybody? THOUGHT SO.

Here’s what’s on TV tonight, highlighted by a “seemed like a great idea when we were making the schedule” showdown between the 3-7 Philadelphia Eagles and the 2-8 Carolina Panthers. Sophomore slumpmaster Cam Newton looks to throw more interceptions than touchdowns against Philadelphia’s Michael Vick, a guy who could seriously benefit from Tim McGraw showing up and duct-taping the football to his hands. It’s going to be GREAT, and the Philly sports fans on your Twitter feed won’t be obnoxious about it AT ALL.

Read the rest of this entry »

It had been rumored for some time that one of our favorite Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models, Chrissy Teigen, had been selected to be The X Factor’s female version of Ryan Seacrest, and that would have been awesome, because she’s funny, intelligent and very easy to look at. Then it was reported yesterday that she’s out and Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez are in, because f*ck us, that’s why.

This has nothing to do with sports, but my rage should be noted.

NFL: New York Giants at Carolina Panthers – 8:20 PM ET on NFL Network

Eli Manning and the Giants are without Hakeem Nicks, who had 412 catches for 6,215 yards on Sunday while seemingly being injured on every single play. Seriously, I’d watch a play and Nicks would be limping off the field, and then I’d look at another TV, and when I’d look back at the Giants game, he’d make a catch and then start limping again. That said, even sitting out, he’s more effective than all Miami Dolphins receivers.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, Carolina Panthers center Ryan Kalil (pictured above at Comic Con 2011 because it’s important) took out a full page ad in the Charlotte Observer, promising fans of his team that the Panthers were going to win Super Bowl XLVII. Obviously, with the season still a month away, and the Panthers coming off a 6-10 season, some people responded to that ad with a hearty, “LOLwut?”

On Saturday, though, Kalil backed his words up with some reassurance.

“I knew I’d take some heat for it, and rightfully so. It’s a bold thing to say, especially in such a tough game,” Kalil said. “But what I care about is who I wrote it for and who it was intended for, and that was the fans and my teammates. So in that regard it’s been very positive.” (Via the Sacramento Bee)

My immediate response to this was, “Oh sh*t, the Twitters are going to eat this dude alive.” However, aside from fans of the other NFC South teams and the typical major market loudmouths, most people seem to dig that Kalil did this. It’s probably because it was a gesture to his fan base, which is rare and refreshing, especially when done with the over-the-top aplomb and bravado replaced by passion and respect.

Kalil’s ad inspired me to ask the question, “What would it look like if more players, coaches, and owners reached out to their fans by guaranteeing Super Bowl victories?” So I went ahead and made some newspaper ads for some players and one special owner to use if they so desire.

Read the rest of this entry »

Carolina Panthers backup quarterback Jimmy Clausen is no stranger to controversy, as he had a couple run-ins with the law during his days at Notre Dame. But now, like any good bordering-on-obsolete athlete, he’s using Twitter to fight his biggest battles. This week, Clausen’s main event match is against none other than Supercuts, the place where impatient moms take their kids to look acceptable for yearbook photos. *points to self*

Clausen apparently popped into his local Supercuts yesterday to look sharp for his team photo, which is being taken today, and he was none too pleased with the result. He was angry enough that he vented on Twitter. Sadly, no photo was attached.

Of course, it didn’t take long for someone to point out the obvious.

But shortly after, Supercuts came calling with a formal apology.

Read the rest of this entry »

With Halloween upon us, most of you are probably recovering from a weekend of cheap booze and heavy drooling over naughty *insert occupation* and, if you’re anything like me, you’re eager to shut all the lights off and watch Monday Night Football in complete silence. But if you’re one of those “adult” types and you didn’t get a chance to go out this week and ogle scantily clad girls who benefit greatly from masks and makeup, you can at least take comfort in know that some NFL cheerleaders are here to comfort you.

Specifically, the Tennessee Titans and Baltimore Ravens cheerleaders want to comfort you, because they were the only NFL cheerleaders that cared enough about their fans yesterday to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Like Batgirl above. She could be a Cyclops under that mask. Hell, she could be Richard Harrow from “Boardwalk Empire.” Either way, she’s the prime example of how Halloween should be done.

Today, we celebrate the efforts of the Titans and Ravens cheerleaders, and we cast our scorn upon the 30 other NFL cheerleading squads that were too cool for school.

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong about something, so I had no problem making fun of myself yesterday while Ray Rice made me and the Pittsburgh Steelers look incredibly foolish. In fairness, my fantasy football rankings were doomed because I wrote them too early, since I would clearly never take Arian Foster and his hamstring with the first pick, but more importantly because Rice was going to benefit from the disappearances of Willis McGahee, now ruining Knowshon Moreno’s value in Denver, and Le’Ron McClain, who of course joined Jamaal Charles in Kansas City.

With that said, I’ve never claimed to be an expert. So I tip my cap to those of you who nabbed Rice in the Top 5 because it’s pretty clear that he, LeSean McCoy, and maybe even Matt Forte are poised to become the cream of the RB crop this year. That is, if every player in the league isn’t on the injured reserve by Week 4.

Then again, it’s also only Week 1, so I shouldn’t be crowning anyone. But if Rice and his 149 all-purpose yards and 2 TDs against the Pittsburgh Steelers don’t impress you, then I guess you are more foolish than I.