25 Better Portraits For Carmelo Anthony’s New York City Apartment

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.20.12

The New York Post took its loyal readers on a trip into the home and minds of New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony and his wife La La – *eye roll* – and the most revealing tidbit of information was that they have a giant portrait of Carmelo (above) hanging over their fireplace. And it’s not exactly shocking that a multimillionaire superstar athlete would have a huge portrait of himself in his own home, but if you’ve ever followed the gossip about his wife, you’d probably expect a few more portraits of La La.

But according to Melo’s better half, the interior design duties are actually performed by the primary money-maker himself.

How much input has Carmelo had in the design of your home or did you manage the project yourself?

Believe it or not, he has more input and gets more involved than I do. He was really into working with the decorator, Alicia Darby, who also decorated our home in LA.

Man, if that quote doesn’t open the door for a ton of jokes, then I don’t know anything about comedy anymore. Regardless of the humor of a man possibly cheating on his wife with his decorator, I just can’t get past the arrogance of self-celebration. I guess you could argue that the painting may have been a gift from a famous artist, or maybe La La painted it herself – she didn’t – but chances are Carmelo just paid someone to paint it and he was like, “Yeah, that’s going over my fireplace.”

It doesn’t matter what the actual reason is, because a lot of people are just going to look at this and think, “The ego on this guy.” So I want to help Carmelo with my own interior design skills by offering him some awesome alternative portraits that he can hang instead. Most of these are already in the Louvre and Smithsonian, but I have connections.

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The Carmelo Anthony Lionel Richie Parody: Way Better Than ‘Dancing On The Ceil-Lin’

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.20.12

They should play this on SportsCenter and have Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca just say sarcastic sh*t about it the whole time. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

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ROFLMNBAO: Starbury’s Still Got It!

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.04.12

With a 1.5 game lead over the Milwaukee Bucks for the 8th playoff spot in the East, it seems like the New York Knicks are in good position to at least make the playoffs. They’re still sitting at .500 (27-27) as they have been for most of the season, and even the energy of a new coach and system isn’t helping them get over the hump and back into serious contention, despite some analysts who have the Knicks pegged as a title contender hiding in the best spot possible. Because any team, regardless of talent level, really wants to play the No. 1 seed in the first round of the playoffs.

But over in China, an old Knick is proving that he had some gas left in the tank to get himself a championship. Stephon Marbury and the Beijing Ducks – mmmmmmmm, Beijing duck – are the new Chinese Basketball Association champions, after Starbury scored 41 points in Game 5 to oust the defending champions, Guangdong Hongyuan. Marbury also scored 52 points in Game 2 and 53 points in Game 3, so if you were wondering how the New York sports media would pass the time with Jeremy Lin out for the season… stop.

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Presenting ‘Magic Johnson: The Gathering’

Written by Bill Hanstock / 03.30.12


Magic Johnson: The Gathering

The sports world is abuzz with the news that a Magic-Johnson fronted group broke the dang old bank in order to purchase the Dodgers for over $2 billion, which is a figure so absurd that it may as well be written like a comic strip character says cuss words.

“Yes  Mr. McCourt, and our counter-offer is #!%*& dollars.”

Anyway, it’s no secret by now that Magic Johnson, while not a billionaire himself, is a mega-entrepreneur and philanthropist. Already in 2012, he’s bought a baseball team and announced he’s launching a television network. What’s next, a chain of restaurants that are like Applebee’s, but with edible food? A series of Wal*Mart-style superstores? It’s almost like he’s some kind of business wizard. Almost like he’s … gathering spectacular assets.

Wait a minute. Wizard … gathering … Magic … I think we may be on to something here, ladies and gentlemen. In the spirit of Magic Johnson’s spectacular purchase, I am pleased to present the nerdiest sequence of jokes to ever appear on With Leather. It is my pleasure to present to you a very special type of card game: a collectible one.

Faithful readers, I proudly present Magic Johnson: The Gathering.
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ROFLMNBAO: Heading Down The Home Stretch!

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.28.12

As we head into the 4th quarter of the NBA season, the Chicago Bulls are the first and only team to have clinched a playoff spot so far, which wouldn’t seem like much of an accomplishment, except that Derrick Rose has missed 17 games this season. Meanwhile, the Miami Heat have entered that “we know we can kill anyone but we’re saving it for the playoffs” phase of their season, which doesn’t mean much, because they’ll still finish in the No. 2 spot – if they don’t gain ground and upend the Bulls, that is – because the Orlando Magic and Philadelphia 76ers most likely aren’t going to catch them.

In the West, the Oklahoma City Thunder showed they’re ready to start the playoffs now, with a 103-87 thrashing of the Heat on Sunday. San Antonio, though, has flown under the radar while becoming the second best team in the conference, and those cranky, grizzled veterans are probably the biggest threat to the Thunder’s Finals run. Well, except maybe the Lakers or the Mavericks. Or anyone.

This season has been strange.

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NBA ‘Has Handle’ Twitter Shirts, The Puffy Starter Jacket Of 2012

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.28.12


Are you an NBA fan who hates watching his favorite player play basketball, but loves reading what he has to say about his day-to-day minutia and hashtag causes on the Internet? Then you’ll love the NBA Store‘s new ‘Has Handle’ t-shirts, the shirsey that replaces the ‘Lin’ on your back to ‘@JLIN7′. Oh, and they had a # to the immediately left of your team logo. To the left of the ‘Los’ if you’re buying the racist Spanish one.

NBA Store has six of these bad boys ready to go, and the only upside I can see to them is how much more awkward it makes me going into a team store to ask for an awful player’s merchandise and having to say his username outloud. “Uh, excuse me, you guys got any at-sign ianmahinmi shirseys?”

Take a look at the six they’ve got up now and try to figure out which one you’d like to order least. I agree with Andrew Sharp of SB Nation that an ‘@KingJames’ across your back would make you the absolute worst.

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