One of the strangers encounters that I’ve ever had with a sh*t-talking sports fan came after the Miami Heat defeated the Orlando Magic last season, and a gentleman in a Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James jersey and Heat hat was shouting to the Amway Center crowd, “That’s how he do it! That’s how he do it!” And I didn’t need to ask him why he was wearing one team’s jersey and another’s hat, because as I have become a big NBA fan in recent years, I have ultimately learned that, unlike other professional sports leagues, the NBA is a place where fans hitching their trailers to the superstars instead of teams happens.

And yesterday, as if it was the plot of a new Alien movie written and directed by social media managers, we watched the fanboy monsters and the equally terrifying outraged Twitter activists mate and give birth to a brand new breed of worthless, misdirected Internet fury. All because LeBron James wasn’t unanimously voted the NBA’s MVP for the 2012-13 season.

Read the rest of this entry »

NBA 6th Man of the Year JR Smith said that if he hadn’t been suspended for Game 4 of the first round of the New York Knicks playoff matchup against the Boston Celtics, he’d be playing golf right now. That’s because the Knicks would have swept the Celtics, you see, but since he wasn’t there to hit a few shots and dance like a wild man in front of Louis CK, Boston won Game 4.

So it should have been over last night with Smith back for Game 5, right? WRONG, YOU FOOLS! The Celtics absolutely stymied the Knicks on defense, making Smith and NBA scoring leader Carmelo Anthony look downright foolish at times in a 92-86 victory that was not nearly as close as the score suggests.

Now, with the Celtics within one game of forcing this series to go the distance, you can imagine that things might be getting a little heated between these two bitter rivals. And it is, because sports are awesome.

Read the rest of this entry »

If there’s one thing fans of ‘Game Of Thrones’ love, it’s dubstep. And if there’s one thing fans of dubstep love, it’s Carmelo Anthony. Not sure how Carmelo Anthony fans and ‘Game Of Thrones’ fans relate, but I’m going to assume there’s a 100% overlap.

So … yeah, ‘Game Of Thrones’ season 3 premieres on HBO on March 31, and nothing has gotten me hyped quite like a guy who has no possible idea what Game Of Thrones is sitting on a prop from the show, holding a basketball, talking about great wars. Because, get it, wars where you cut peoples’ guts out are just like Knicks games. They both involve an imp, too, if you count Spike Lee.

Here’s the clip. Spoiler alert: Khaleesi brings the Miami Heat across the Narrow Sea and torches New York.

Read the rest of this entry »

In one of the better “Boys will be boys” stories of this early sports year, New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony reportedly took offense to something that Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett said to him during Boston’s 102-96 victory on Monday night. According to various websites, Garnett supposedly told Anthony that his wife and decision-maker, La La Vasquez-Anthony, “tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios”. Honestly, I don’t really know how that’s an insult, because it mostly just reminds me of Patrice O’Neal’s birthday cake joke (watch “Elephant in the Room” if you’re unfamiliar).

Now, if I had to guess, Garnett has never had sex with Anthony’s wife. Maybe he has, and therefore is qualified to make such a statement, but this is probably just an example of what the kids call “trash talk”. However, some people believe that this sort of trash talk crosses a line, including Anthony, who waited for Garnett by the Celtics team bus so they could settle this like men. After all, you can take the millionaire professional athlete out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take the Brooklyn out of the corporate product spokesperson.

Read the rest of this entry »

When it comes to sports collectables, autographs and general memorabilia, you could say that I’m a big-time conservative. I fear the inevitability of change, in that I always expect my favorite players to be traded, so why would I invest my money and time into supporting them? Additionally, there’s the scandal factor, as in I wouldn’t want to spend a few hundred dollars for, say, a David Freese autographed glove if it turns out that he’s running an orphanage only as a front for an organ farm. (And if he is doing that, I want in, damn it.)

Yet here I am, this gigantic sucker for both sports and quirky artwork, admiring artist Dave Choate’s fun and to-the-point-titled work, “Sports Paintings”. The bulk of Choate’s work revolves around a certain Evil Empire team that he’s a fan of, but mostly his self-taught art stems from a love of sports and art. Much like my Kate Upton finger paintings, or as the judge called them, “Exhibit A”.

My work has been described as whimsical. At the risk of sounding like a moron, my goal is to come away with something cool. I’ve found that my best paintings are the ones where I have the most happy accidents, so I really try to tap into my subconscious or right brain and not analyze every stroke. It reminds me of the Yogi Berra quote, “How the hell are you gonna hit and think at the same time?” I stay loose, try not to think, go with the flow and have faith that I’ll eventually discover something that I couldn’t have created on my own, at least consciously.

I’m a Connecticut native and am a fan of the New York Yankees and Oakland Raiders teams of the 70′s and 80′s.

Choate’s art is a little pricey, but I think it’s pretty fantastic. In fact, if I were still selling meth, I’d probably buy all of his paintings. Wait, did I say selling meth? I meant making porn. I don’t want you guys to think poorly of me.

After the jump, check out the With Leather Art Gallery’s “Sports Paintings” exhibit, and feel free to purchase any of the Mike Tyson paintings for me.

Read the rest of this entry »

Despite me watching it last night, the NBA posted its new “BIG Color” commercial on YouTube today to celebrate both the holiday season and the surprisingly plain jerseys that some teams will be wearing on Christmas day. As we already know, the Christmas day NBA schedule looks like this:

Boston Celtics at Brooklyn Nets
New York Knicks at Los Angeles Lakers
Oklahoma City Thunder at Miami Heat
Houston Rockets at Chicago Bulls
Denver Nuggets at Los Angeles Clippers

It’s a regular potpourri of games that we both care and don’t care about. Thanks NBA! But back to the uniforms and commercial at hand. The BIG Color commercial features four of the league’s most recognizable stars and Joe Johnson, as they bounce their jingle balls in rhythm to the tune of “Carol of the Bells”. For what it is, it’s a simple but cool spot that doesn’t play any favorites, except that 25 teams are left out of the fun. But that’s their fault for stinking.

Check out the commercial after the jump, as well as some special holiday cheer commentary from my favorite and most intelligent people on the Internet – YouTube commenters.

Read the rest of this entry »