PLEASE DO NOT MURDER SHAWN ANDREWS

Written by JOSH Z / 05.14.09

Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews suffered from depression after the birth of his son, JaShawn. Andrews says his condition was one of the reasons that…no, seriously, the kid’s name is “JaShawn.” I double-checked. I wonder if he’s of any relation to recording artist “Ja Rule.” Or if the kid likes to take in a game of “ja alai.” Or if he’s a big reader of J.A. Adante. Whatever. Let’s get to the part where someone tried to kill the guy…

“I bought a whole bunch of things that I thought were going to boost who I really was, make people like me more, try to impress people versus being smart,” Andrews said.

Others began treating him differently, he said. Before his rookie season, he said that one longtime Arkansas friend asked him, “How much are you worth?” Then the friend asked for help in paying child support, rent and a car loan. After he declined, Andrews said, the friend invited him to a deer-hunting camp. Another friend later warned that he was being set up to be shot in what would look like a hunting accident, Andrews said.

The story could not be independently verified.

I’ve always thought of people-hunting as far more humane than deer-hunting, and I’ll continue to do so until deer get better at handling rifles. But I love the alleged mentality of a guy that asked for rent, child support help and a car loan. It’s impressive how ambitious people can be when it doesn’t involve effort.

|Fifth Down, via Sporting Blog|

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DELONTE WEST HAS DISCONNECTED THOUGHTS

Written by Matt / 05.07.08

Delonte West is currently of the Cavaliers, formerly of the Celtics and forever carrier of a nasty strain of the herp. West at least flaps his disease-marked lips in an interesting fashion in this discursive interview he conducted during his days with the Celtics. It's really quite amazing. He begins the interviewing saying he hopes no one drinks out of his favorite cup then trails off. The herp can do terrible things to your mind that way.

In case any ladies are reading, I like riding my horse as well. That horse is heroin, though. That statement is bound to attract the kind of women Delonte has been with. Maybe, Delonte, too. He claims to have met Bugs Bunny, you see.

[Balls Don't Lie]

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