Stephen Abootman's plot to exact revenge on the world for Canadian disrespect has taken a new sartorial form. At left is the fruitcake-inspired monstrosity that Don Cherry wore on Saturday's Hockey Night in Canadia. At right are the newly revealed Canadian Olympic uniforms, which are equal parts Zubaz and Strawberry Shortcake acid-fueled nightmares.

Then again, the uniforms were designed by the Chinese and the Canadians were probably just happy to have something other than a maple leaf, a fur hat and hockey skates to wear. Hell, for them, it's a garment finally fine enough to be gay married in.

I've seen a lot of amazing viral videos of TV reporters, from a bird crapping on a guy's face to a blind guy getting called gay to Carl Monday.  This one is my new favorite.

Cheers to you, Rob Leth of Toronto's Global Television Network.  Canadia just got a whole lot cooler.

UPDATE: Video was down earlier; thanks to Latin lothario Eduardo for the working video. 

[Deadspin] 

The rash of underground videos of Chris Berman acting like a jackass on camera continues with the latest from American hero ampex2000.  Berman thinks he's so smart because he can smuggle aspirin with codeine from Canadia back into America.  As if that's even remotely what's most awesome about Canadia.  My vote goes to "bed dances" in Montreal, followed closely by 18- and 19-year-olds drinking legally, followed by just about everything related to Vancouver.  Berman's choice, over-the-counter "222s," falls somewhere between universal health care and The Basketball Jones: pretty cool, but not nearly sexy enough.

[Awful Announcing] 

This football-themed commercial for the Ontario Lottery Board has nothing to do with the Ontario Lottery Board, but sometimes it's enough just to be clever and funny. 

Um, not that I'd know.

[Loser with Socks via The Wizard of Odds] 

Earlier this week I ignored a story about a brawl between two youth hockey teams, because it happened in Canadia so I was like whatever.

Police in Guelph, Ont., say criminal charges are possible after a brawl at a hockey game involving teams of eight-year-old players. Six players and two coaches were suspended after Friday’s brawl between the Duffield and Niagara Falls novice triple-A teams.

100% Injury Rate turned up the video above, and as you can see it's a real horror show of violence.  Canadian police are also looking into a pet store's possible dog fighting ring after seeing three Golden Retriever puppies chewing on each other.

Reader/underwear model Ian sent in this clip from some football game in Canadia called the Vanier Cup, which is apparently the rough equivalent of a bowl game in the Great United States.  And there must be some serious calcium deficiencies up North, because you just don't see a femur — the thickest bone in the human body, unless you have a cock like mine — snap like kindling often enough in American bowl games.

But at least he's got guaranteed health care.  If that injury happened to me I'd be forced to take some Ibuprofen and walk it off.  And I don't mean "walk it off" until the pain went away.  I mean "walk it off" like walk until my leg fell off.  Because health insurance is for weaklings and pussies.