Carmelo Anthony owns a camel, I guess. There, that’s the entire article. Here’s what he said over Twitter, which recently replaced “yelling in a Cairo marketplace” as the easiest way to tell people about how you bought a camel.

Anthony would neither confirm nor deny that Denver doesn’t care about his camel.

Of course, he could just be standing next to somebody else’s camel and making a joke, but if Reggie Bush has taught us nothing else (and he hasn’t), it’s that sports celebrities consider “saying something that isn’t true” a great joke. If he did buy a camel, I hope he at least named it “Camelo Anthony.”

[via Twitter]

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The latest Vick protest comes from a camel in a New Jersey zoo. Now I know what you’re thinking, and I’m with you. These immigrant animals have congested our zoos for TOO LONG! But this is America, so camels have rights too, apparently. Even camels that pick the winners of NFL games.

Princess, the star of Popcorn Park Zoo, won’t predict the results of any Eagles games this season to protest the signing of quarterback Michael Vick. Vick spent 18 months in prison for organizing a dogfighting ring.

The 2,600-pound camel went 17-4 last year and correctly picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to win the Super Bowl.

The camel has a very scientific methodology for picking teams, as all mammals of the Artiodactyla order do:

The zoo’s manager places a graham cracker in each hand, and writes the name of a competing team on each hand. Whichever hand Princess eats from is her “pick.” via.

It’s worth pointing out that this camel is for entertainment purposes only. Which is fine, because an animal that can’t pick games against the spread is worthless. Kinda like all other animals, actually.