It’s official – Chinese crested dogs are pretty damn hideous. But they’re adorably hideous, because yet another mangled little crested monster took home the title of World’s Ugliest Dog at this year’s competition at the Northern California Fair on Saturday. Yoda, a 14-year old crested/Chihuahua hybrid abomination, was awarded this prestigious honor with her long, dried out tongue, patches of hair and douchey dog faux hawk.

But as expected, Yoda’s story is one of survival and compassion.

Yoda’s owner Terry Schumacher fled when she first encountered the two-pound dog abandoned behind an apartment building in America, convinced that the animal was a rat.

But on closer inspection, she realised the diminutive ball of hair and limbs was actually a dog.

Miss Schumacher took her home and named her new pet after the pint-sized crumpled-faced Jedi master from the Star Wars films, to whom the dog bears a striking canine resemblance. (Telegraph)

Last year’s champion, a one-eyed Chihuahua named Princess Abby, was back to defend her title against a field that also included a 15-year old blind pug and Handsome Hector, whose owner even made a Facebook page to celebrate his unique looks. Like Yoda, the 2009 champion was also a Chinese crested, as was the 2008 titleholder, which makes the breed the drunken last call fat chick of dogs.

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In 2008, former Denver Broncos running back Floyd Little filed for workers’ compensation in California for the health problems and pains he still suffers from his playing career that ended more than 30 years ago. However, Floyd is now being sued along with 8 other former Broncos by the insurance company, St. Paul Fire and Marine, because it claims that the team is actually responsible.

But wait, why are Denver players filing for workers’ comp in California?

California law is unique in that it allows for professional athletes to file workers’ compensation claims in the state even if they never played for California-based teams. All that is required is to have played at least one professional game in the state.

Using that provision, thousands of former professional athletes have quietly filed claims in California. Football players are the most prominent group. A New York Times investigation last year found about 700 pending cases involving former National Football League players, along with hundreds more that had been settled.

Former professional basketball and baseball players also have filed for compensation. (Denver Post)

Now I’m not some fancy, big shot, city slicker workers’ compensation attorney, nor am I a state lawmaker with a top hat and monocle. But I have a little common sense that I use sparingly, and in this case my alarm is going apesh*t.

California currently has a debt to GDP ratio of approximately 18.7%, which amounts to almost $10,000 in debt per citizen. I don’t know what any of that means, as I live in Florida and everything is perfect here, but if thousands of former athletes are taking advantage of this loophole now, I’d have to imagine that a lawmaker might eventually notice and say, “My word, this is indubitably wasteful!” Wait, what’s that anyone who lives in California? They won’t? That’s unfortunate.

The 6th Annual Loews Coronado Bay Resort Surf Dog Competition was held Saturday in San Diego, California, as “ruffly” 50 canines vied for the title of the world’s most adorable surfer. Hundreds of people gathered to witness the event, as the dogs were dressed in Hawaiian shirts, leis, and sunglasses while surfing both solo and with their owners. This year’s big winner was an Australian Kelpie named Abbie Girl, and it was her second time winning the event. She’s a regular Kelly Slater. You know, if Kelly were a dog. And female. Whatever, it’s Monday.

You may remember last year’s tribute to surfing dogs set to quotes from Point Break, and while it’s hard to recreate that kind of magic, I am simply happy that we finally have a sport that consistently produces a quality product without stirring up controversies about criminal behavior, drug use and womanizing. However, I can’t help but think that a sport in which all of the females are fixed might be a great place for Travis Henry to make a comeback.

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The Guide to Recognizing Your Mascots tour of baseball’s minor leagues returns this week with the California League. I’m sorry it took me so long to finish this, I wanted to just write it, but everyone thinks I’ve got mental problems, so I had to stuff my lunchbox full of pictures of the Bakersfield Blaze and High Desert Mavericks and hitchhike to the West Coast myself. I had some troubles along the way (such as a hot shot blogger named Lucas who has already written about all of these mascots), but a helpful group of bikers took me most of the way. It saved me a lot of time, but I don’t ever want to hear “Send Me An Angel” again.

Anyway, enough of my literary wizardry. If this is your introduction to the series, be sure to click the A Guide to Recognizing Your Mascots tag and read through the leagues we’ve already covered. This one will be just like those, except all the giant Muppet things have temperature names. Sh:t, I just ruined the entire article. Sorry, my only joke is about how the baseball llama’s name is “Sunny.”

Click through, enjoy the hilarity, and drop a comment. Don’t make me get all emotional in a big dinosaur.

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After months of speculation that the Sacramento Kings were about to become the Sacramento Kings of Anaheim, team owners The Maloof Family passed down word to the Anaheim Arena Management Company, and basketball will remain in Northern California for another year. That means the Kings and their awesome trampy dance team won’t have to worry about playing so close to the Clippers and the Lakers, which would drive their attendance down from 1% of California basketball fans to about a negative six.

From an article in the LA Times (website):

The decision to stay follows weeks of maneuvering by Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson, who mobilized more than $10 million in sponsorship and ticket support for the team in the capital, and gathered interest from Los Angeles billionaire Ron Burkle to help build a new arena downtown for the Kings.

The Maloofs (who may or may not be a family of beavers, I don’t know much about Pokémon) were fully prepared to move the team despite criticism from the league and NBA Commissioner David Stern, so who knows where they’ll eventually end up, but for now the Sack Kings are set. On a personal note, I’d like to express how hideously ugly the Maloof family (pictured, right) is, and how they are a Creature from the Black Lagoon poster and a couple of cowboy hats away from being a Rob Zombie movie. It’s not hard to see why these people want to live in Southern California.

Picture lazily related.

*This isn’t really about the Olympics.

I don’t know what’s being pumped into the water in France lately, but those baguette-eating wine-sniffers are really earning some street cred. First, they didn’t bother waiting to take the first shot at Libya, and now their firefighters are telling the rest of the world to embrasser mon derriere. While this is apparently news from February, our reporters in With Leather’s French bureau have been drunk since 2008 so we’re just now discovering the awesomeness of the “Jeux Olympiques des Pompiers”, or the Olympic Games of the Firefighters.

In the video below you can witness the awesomeness of the French firefighter competition, as they run around with ladders and hoses while jumping walls like jungle cats. But in the end, these Olympics aren’t about who wins, mainly because they all surrender when the German firefighters show up.

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