New career goal: get name-dropped in a Taiwan Animation video.

With the exception of WWE doing a Lennay Kekua/Little Jimmy joke on Monday, the most predictable thing to come from the reaction to Deadspin’s Manti Te’o I LOVE MUH DEAD GIRLFRIEND story is the response from Next Media Animation. Sometimes life lobs a ball in their direction, and it’s their job to do a bunch of peyote and slam it home. They don’t disappoint here, covering Te’o's troubles with butt-chugging leprechauns, in-game mech attacks and what may or may not be a necrophilia joke.

Thanks for doing what you do, Taiwan. I’d be down for an entire series of these, especially if they involve more scenes of fictional characters pouring whisky up this poor guy’s butthole.

Lance Armstrong has spent the last ten years and change denying doping allegations, but now, after a 1,000 page collection of evidence and 26 sworn statements from fellow cyclists, he’s ready to … still deny them, I guess. But he’s stepping down as the chairman of Livestrong, which is a pretty big deal.

“This organization, its mission and its supporters are incredibly dear to my heart,” Armstrong said in a statement. “Today therefore, to spare the foundation any negative effects as a result of controversy surrounding my cycling career, I will conclude my chairmanship.

“As my cancer treatment was drawing to an end, I created a foundation to serve people affected by cancer. It has been a great privilege to help grow it from a dream into an organization that today has served 2.5 million people and helped spur a cultural shift in how the world views cancer survivors.

“My family and I have devoted our lives to the work of the foundation and that will not change. We plan to continue our service to the foundation and the cancer community. We will remain active advocates for cancer survivors and engaged supporters of the fight against cancer,” Armstrong said. (via LA Times)

We’ve tried to write objectively about whether or not Armstrong doped. We’ve even passed the buck to the pro comedians, guys who can say HEY F**K LANCE ARMSTRONG, WHO CARES ABOUT CYCLING without fear of a cycling forum somewhere finding out what they’ve said and bringing the hammer down. George Carlin summed up our thoughts on Lance Armstrong years ago, and now Lewis Black and ‘The Daily Show With Jon Stewart’ have taken it a step further by straight-up comparing Lance to the University Of Tennessee butt-chuggers and a guy who got arrested for doing it with a donkey.

Check out the video below, and see if you end up finding the donkeyf**ker infinitely more interesting than the nearly three-dozen cyclists who went to court to rat each other out.

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