Diana Inch is a 44-year old high school librarian and girls soccer coach in Oregon. She is also the only person out of 3 million entrants in the Yahoo! Tourney Pick ‘Em to correctly predict the Final Four teams. She also correctly predicted Connecticut and Butler in the Championship game, and sure enough she had the Huskies winning the title. So how did this seemingly extraordinary sports genius make her predictions? By using her favorite numbers and picking dogs and cats, of course.

Inch’s formula included her favorite numbers and team mascots. She titled her entry Di’s 711 XV Cats & Dogs. In the first round she picked the No. 7 and 11 seeds in almost every round. In ensuing rounds she picked according to team mascots, leaning to those with cats or dogs.

“I have watched the games on my computer,” Inch said. “I’m as surprised as anyone that I got the Final Four.” (Via the Albany Democrat-Herald)

Why are you surprised, Diana? This is how it always happens. You should try fantasy football next year and draft your team based on which player has the cutest ass.

Unfortunately for Diana, though, her luck has brought her no instant wealth, and just some bragging rights. Even before UConn won the (incredibly boring) championship game last night, Diana was in 781st place in the Yahoo! competition, 13 wins behind the first place entrant, so she won’t see any of the $5,000 top prize. But with that cushy high school librarian/soccer coach salary, she hardly needs it.

Oh wait, that’s a reference to The Wizard Of Oz and not Cinderella. But since 8-seed Butler is still in the tournament, I feel like we need a new theme. The “brick” analogy might be appropos, as VCU went cold from their field before falling to the Bulldogs, 70-62.

Virginia Commonwealth, one of the last teams awarded an at-large berth in this year’s NCAA tournament, came up just short of an unprecedented national title game appearance. The 12-seed Rams lost to Butler in the national semifinal Saturday, ending one of the more surprising runs in recent tournament history.

“Some of our shots didn’t fall. Open shots, shots we’d been making,” [point guard Joey] Rodriguez said. “I think if you go back and look at the tape, you’ll see some of them were in and outs. Almost felt like it wasn’t supposed to happen or something.”

–Y! Sports.

VCU would have been the first school to emerge from a play-in game to the national title; while Butler, the Indianapolis school with an enrollment of less than 4,000, finds itself back in the national title game after losing its best player from last year.

Butler will face UConn in the championship; the Huskies ran the table in the Big East tournament to secure an automatic bid in the field of 68. UConn held to Kentucky to 33 percent shooting but only edged out a 56-55 win.

Oh, and I guess Maya Moore is out of the women’s tournament, whoever that is.

"Let's name jspearlman the ambassador to Libya."

ESPN reported last night that just two of the 5.9 million submitted Tournament Challenge brackets predicted the Final Four correctly. That’s roughly two more than I would have ever imagined picking Butler and Virginia Commonwealth to make the Final Four, but nevertheless I tip my cap to those two evil geniuses. After all, it takes real balls to put an 8- and 11-seed in your bracket’s Final Four, especially on the same side.

One of the two perfect Final Four entrants, “jspearlman”, is in first place, while the other isn’t even close (6,343rd place). But the man currently on top of the World Wide Leader’s $10,000 mountain isn’t in the clear just yet. He chose VCU to win it all, but the entrant only 50 points behind him, “dawgpound513”, still has 3 Final Four teams alive and Kentucky winning it all. And the person in third place has 3 teams remaining and UConn winning it all. And none of us really care that much because we lost weeks ago.

How about your “celebrities”, ESPN?

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“C’mon, he’s using a freaking ladder!”

All right. That’s two instances of me referencing that Simpsons episode where Krusty’s all-consuming gambling problem forces him to bet on the Washington Generals. The joke being that putting money on the Generals is foolish, because they’re only slightly more likely to win than the Washington Wizards.

Anyway, Willie Veasley, Avery Jukes and Nick Rodgers, three members of the National Championship finalist Butler Bulldogs signed one-day contracts to play as members of the Generals against the Harlem Globetrotters, who really need to diversify their playing schedule a little. I mean, I signed up for the season ticket package, hoping to pull a couple games against the Lakers, Cavs, Magic, Thunder and Hornets, but instead it’s 82 games against the same team. At least they have the good sense to play that stupid whistling song non-stop during all their games.

Well, la-dee-freakin’-da, how ’bout them Dukies!

In a thrilling game from the opening tip until Gordon Hayward’s desperation 45-footer caromed off the backboard then off the rim at the buzzer, Duke edged Butler 61-59 Monday night to win the school’s fourth national championship and how very happy we all are for them. Neither team led by more than six points at any time and Butler never appeared overwhelmed or intimidated by the Duke’s Aura of Excellence at any point.

But the road traveled by Duke to excellence was a tough one. Between sophomoric (but brilliant) sports departments at Midwestern newspapers to the usual binge drinkers of Duke-brand Haterade, it has been a struggle for Coach K’s minions as well as his devout followers to stand strong in the face of pressure to not only be the only number one seed to reach the Final Four but to win the whole darn thing. Kudos to them. Really. It’s really, really great.

Of course the knee-jerk accolades have already begun to pour in. David Dodd , Senior Writer for CBS Sports, has decreed the debate over and that Mike Krzyzewski is the greatest college coach of all-time, despite admitting in his own argument that Coach K is “miles” behind John Wooden’s 10 national titles. Wooden? Screw that guy. If Krzyzewski had his druthers, he would slow dance on the grave of Coach Wooden with the Blue Devils mascot – you know, if John Wooden were actually dead.

But what do I know? I didn’t even watch the game live last night. Instead, I went and saw Clash of the Titans. Hey, if I’m going to watch someone parade around with a God complex for two hours, it might as well be an actual god. Or at least one portrayed by the dreamy Liam Neeson.

Hey, did you notice that 8 of the Top 25 ranked college basketball teams lost yesterday? If I knew it, I had forgotten. Or perhaps I was living in denial until I just received a pleasant telephone call from my bookie. Not only did #1 Memphis lose to #2 Tennessee in a thrilling game last night, but several other disasters to my personal economy occurred:

• #17 Washington St. 55, Arizona 65 – I'd enjoy being seduced by a cougar, but I guess I'd rather have sex with a wildcat.
• Kent State 65, #23 St. Mary's 57 – I assume the Catholics felt guilty for that fracas at KSU in 1970. We feel guilty for everything.
• #24 Kansas St. 86, Baylor 92 – Unmurdered ballers play much better. What? Too soon?
• Nebraska 65, #22 Texas A&M 59 – No, I didn't bet on the Aggies. Do I look that stupid? Don't answer that.
• Villanova 67, #13 UConn 65 – Too bad, had I woken up for Mass this morning I would have donated some money to the Augustinians.
• #16 Drake 71, #8 Butler 64 – Michael Vick would have liked this game.
• #4 Kansas 60, Oklahoma St. 61 – Memo to Bill Self: You owe me a knee cap sir.