Via the Huffington Post today comes a story of triumph in the face of adversity, as Franklin Marcano and Gustavo Murillo are Mexican bullfighters looking for respect in their sport that has long been a source of controversy. Also, they’re dwarfs, so people really don’t take them seriously. But they’ve been fed up with being seen as a novelty act for the past few years and they’ve pressed on with their group of superheroes, and they continue to fight for all that is just for little people.

A part of the Original Bullfighting Dwarfs of Mexico, Marcano and Murillo are just two of the many men who have taken jobs with the Originals, as I’m calling them for my own convenience, and they’ve found a life of fame and moderate earnings traveling throughout North and South America. They even pride themselves on the fact that they don’t harm the bulls like fighters in other countries do. They just evade them, which they consider an art as much as a sport. I call it suicide, but whatevs.

It’s stories of pride like this that make me feel better while knowing that lawmakers in Florida are trying to make it legal for bars to showcase dwarf tossing again. After all, it makes Peter Dinklage sad, and nobody should ever want that to happen.

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Matt Damon is currently in Mexico for production of his latest film, Elysium, in which he plays an ex-convict with a shaved head (what, I’m not on FilmDrunk’s dollar today), and he decided to go against every travel warning in North America and partake in some local cultures away from his highly-protected hotel suite. Seriously, I know Mexican people who won’t go to Mexico anymore, but Damon wants to party, so who’s going to tell him no?

Unfortunately, the cultural pastime in question was bullfighting, a controversial Latin American “sport” that pits a strangely dressed man with a red cape against a giant, pissed off bull that has already been wounded to make it easier for the dude in the bedazzled Capri pants to win. But while Mexicans love their bullfighting, us cultured folk here in the U.S. of A equally love passing judgment, and I assume that Damon has a huge heap of judgment coming his way.

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Because bullfighting isn’t weird and barbaric enough, Egyptian strongman al-Sayed al-Essawy (Arabic for “I said I’m sorry”) plans to fight a full-grown African lion in front of the Pyramids at Giza, claiming that “the world will flock to see the Egyptian man who defeated a lion with his bare hands.”

“After the revolution, with the economy the way it is, I’ve been given the perfect opportunity to realize my dream,” he says.

Well, I’m glad those people were fighting for something. I think we can all empathize with el-Essaway’s dream. When I was a kid, I wanted to one day strangle an adult elephant in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, but our stupid economy stayed strong and I never got the chance. At the risk of just copying and pasting the entire hilarious, awful article from Time’s NewsFeed, al-Sayed discovered his “incredible strength” at age 13 and promised himself he’d fight a lion. He explains: “If America, or any other country, had a man with the ability to combat the strongest creature on the planet, they would properly promote him, and use his strength to their advantage.”

So how has el-Essaway been training for his big day? Why, by fighting dogs, of course!

To no great surprise, several animal rights groups have taken issue with al-Essawy’s plans, fueled by his revelations that he fights dogs to prepare for the battle. He defends his actions by saying that he won’t be armed and will only kill the lion if it’s, “a matter of life and death.” When the publication raised the obvious question of when fighting a lion isn’t a matter of life and death, he replied, “It’s up to the lion. If he chooses to withdraw, or surrender, and lets me tie him up, then I will not kill him and the fight will end.”

I’m pretty sure this guy is going to put on a vest and come to America to bury Spider-Man alive at some point in his life.

Don Chavez and Buzzfeed had the poop on this bullfighter from Spain that was gored in the chest during a “performance” on Wednesday. From BF:

Israel Lancho is currently in serious condition after undergoing surgery for a 20cms hole, and we’re assuming the bull was put down shortly thereafter.

I can only hope that bull got on a boat and came to America, where we either kill the damn thing and throw it on the grill, or just let him hang out until we run out of other stuff to eat. If you hadn’t noticed in the image, that’s a goddamn SWORD in the bull’s back. Nothing better to do in Spain than dragging on the killing of animals for show? Michael Vick is plotting his comeback in the wrong country. F’ck Spain.

Watch the DC video after the jump, if you like. I’m sure it’s as disturbing as you’d expect it to be. But watching the rest of his clown posse drag him to medical attention is somewhat gratifying. Not that I’m bitter.
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"Hey everybody, come watch the bullfight!  No no, there's plenty of room!  Ya know how many people these things can hold?  One more!  Ha ha hAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

[BBC via FanHaus] 

Matador Jose Tomas suffered one of those professional hazards Sunday when he got gored twice during a bullfight in Madrid. One of them was to the groin. My voice just climbed a few pitches thinking about it. 

The 32-year-old, who is widely considered one of the best bullfighters of all time, was competing at the Las Ventas bullring in the Spanish capital when he sustained his injuries.

Tomas, who received medical treatment at the scene, sustained one groin injury that looked exceptionally painful.

You don't say. I'm surprised the writer didn't walk up to the matador after the fight and say "You mess with the bull, you get the horns!" while giggling and playing with a bubble blowing wand. I know I was.

Tomas, who retired in 2002 only to return last year, is known for taking his teddy bears on tour with him for luck and possibly to scare away any pussy that might come his way. So, yeah, no harm done with the bull-induced castration.