UPDATE: Vote in the ASYLUM poll: Would You Want Steve Johnson On Your Team?

Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson has been a very pleasant addition to two of my fantasy football rosters this season, but I guess it’s worth pointing out that Bills fans are pretty excited to have an actual playmaker receiver on their roster for the first time since some guy named Andre Reed was strapping on his Hall of Fame shoes. No offense, Eric Moulds. Off the field Johnson had been more of a quiet presence, as we didn’t hear much from the guy who racked up 3 touchdowns against Cincinnati in Week 11. Like any good wide receiver, though, Steve Johnson has a Twitter account and he’s now a star.

Last night, after Johnson dropped a game-winning touchdown pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick in overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Steve sulked on the sidelines by himself, visibly distraught over his gaffe. He was shaken in the postgame conference as well, and the mistake will undoubtedly haunt him for the next few weeks. But after all was said and done, Johnson Tweeted his ultimate frustrations, calling out the man upstairs for not allowing him to catch the ball. That’s right, it’s all God’s fault.

Video of the drop and a closing sermon after the jump…

The newest Buffalo Bill already has come up lame. Shawne Merriman lasted all of 15 minutes in his first Buffalo Bills practice before suffering a right leg injury. At least he managed to avoid being pelted with juggalo feces. That’s a silver lining.

“Shawne put 10 pounds on his body and went out there and had a little strain and we didn’t want to chance anything,” Bills coach Chan Gailey said. “So we’re getting it checked out completely and we’ll see what happens from there, but it wasn’t anything major.”

The San Diego Chargers cut Merriman after first putting him on injured reserve earlier this season with calf and Achilles ailments. Because it was a minor injury designation, he was allowed to play again this season after being cut. –Sean Leahy/USA Today.

Merriman was suspended for the first four games of 2006 after failing a steriod test and really hasn’t been heard from since. To his disappointment, Buffalo claimed him off waivers last week, and that’s where the 26-year-old will have to finish out the last year of his contract. Sure, there are worse places to play than Buffalo, but there’s nowhere worse to be killing time due to injuries. Well, maybe Cleveland.

It was 15 years ago yesterday that California’s judicial system first openly told the rest of the world: “If you’re a celebrity and you like to commit serious felonies then move here!” On October 3, 1995, Orenthal James “The Bus Driver” Simpson was found not guilty of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown-Simpson and her lover, Ronald Goldman. A very diligent and incorruptible defense team was able to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that O.J. had nothing to do with stabbing two people in a blind rage. And through that verdict, race relations in America were never better.

They say that the O.J. Simpson verdict is one of those events that you’ll always remember what you were doing when it happened, like the Kennedy assassination or Snooki getting punched. But I really don’t remember what I was doing on that day. It was 1995, so I was probably dry humping the girl who lived down the street. Or I was bribing the gas station guy to give me a case of St. Ide’s Special Brew for $100. Hooray for not understanding money as a teenager!

Reflections of the star of the Naked Gun trilogy and the only good thing to ever happen to the Buffalo Bills after the jump.

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The Buffalo Bills are expected to hire former Cowboys head coach Chan Gailey today, their 5th head coach in ten years. This is the team that fired Dick Jauron in November, who fired his offensive coordinator in the beginning of the season. And an organization that, somehow, made the Derek Dooley hiring at Tennessee look like a blockbuster.

Bills fans will be upset about the hire, but honestly, they’re lucky to have a coach at all. An in a climate where Eric Mangini (and possibly Tom Cable) was able to keep his job, how bad can this hire be? For your 43rd choice, anyway. It would be one thing if Buffalo was spending the money to be successful, but they aren’t. They brought in Terrell Owens on a whim just to appease the season ticket holders after they retained Jauron for 2009, and were only able to do it because nobody wanted him. It’s a non-starter coach for a non-starter club. These two bags of dicks deserve each other.

The Buffalo Bills might have the smallest market-size-to-suck ratio in the entire NFL. Nobody wants to play there, nobody wants to stay there, and apparently nobody wants to coach there, either. Earlier this week, the Bills reached out to New York Jets offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer to offer him an interview for the job. He said no.

The Bills had been granted permission by the Jets to interview Schottenheimer and could have spoken to him either this week or after the Jets’ season was over.

Schottenheimer, who last week said he never has been happier in his coaching career than he is right now, wasn’t available for comment yesterday…It’s believed that Schottenheimer, who previously interviewed with the Ravens, Dolphins and Jets for head coaching jobs, thinks he’ll have other opportunities down the road and would rather wait for the best situation. –NY Post.

Buffalo–between its geography, current talent, and front office structure–might be the worst head coaching job in the NFL. And you wonder why they stuck with Dick Jauron for three years. Perry Fewell, who took over for Jauron in November, seems more interested in getting the Bears’ defensive coordinator position now, than returning to Buffalo (he was fired after finishing 3-4, but was supposedly offered a chance to re-interview for his old job, which isn’t demeaning at all). Who would have thought that upstate New York was so terrible? Besides everyone?

So Chris Mortensen caught wind of what he’s calling a “stealth meeting” between the Buffalo Bills and current CBS NFL analyst Bill Cowher. Cowher, who hasn’t coached since the 2006 season, has always been that random name that floated around whenever a head coaching vacancy in the league popped up. So you’re confirming his return! [Falls down stairs] Or you’re not?

It is believed that owner Ralph Wilson Jr. joined team president Russ Brandon to gauge Cowher’s potential interest to return to coaching.

The Bills, who also met with Mike Shanahan after Dick Jauron was fired, believe talks with Cowher were very productive, the sources added, but gave no indication whether Cowher will take their head-coaching position if it is offered. –ESPN.

Two things about Cowher: First of all, he seems pretty content at CBS trading yuks with Dan Marino and pretending to offer analysis. Secondly, he looked pretty damn burned out after the Steelers finally won the Super Bowl. But now that his kid is done playing basketball and he’s had a few years to recharge, why wouldn’t he go back to work with a terrible small-market team that’s literally trying to flee the country? All I know is to never trust a man with a mustache. It’s like a third eyebrow that got lost on its way up to the top of the face.