With the 2012 Summer Olympics wrapped up and the NFL season still a few weeks away, the standard summer sports boredom that we all suffer has been lessened to some extent – unless you like baseball and America. But slow news day and all, I’ve been a little distracted by this video that was Tweeted out by comedienne Jenny Johnson over the weekend. It appears that Kim Kardashian isn’t the only talentless woman in her family with dreams of pop music superstardom based on the low expectations and poor taste of this great country.

At some point in the 1980s, the Kardashian matriarch, Kris Jenner, decided to give singing a try in a video that she recorded to honor of all her famous friends. It was basically a VHS lesson in name-dropping. And right there in the middle of the whole, terrifying butchering of a Randy Newman classic is O.J. Simpson, the reason that we even have these wretched fame leeches in the first place.

As always, I watched it, so you get to watch it now. Fair is fair, friends.

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I don’t want to dip too much into our uncle Matt’s territory, but there was no way I wasn’t going to acknowledge the way “Saturday Night Live” absolutely destroyed the Kardashian family and especially Kris Humphries the other night. As we all know, Kim Kardashian and her Satanic soul thief mother, Kris Jenner, made at least $17 million off of her wedding to Humphries, regardless of what they try to convince their masses of mouth-breathing enablers.

Thankfully, in an episode of SNL that was otherwise as disappointing as we’ve come to expect, the show hit hard and early at the E! network’s biggest money maker, and the hardest hit were Humphries and Olympic legend Bruce Jenner, who was played to an amazing accuracy by Taran Killam. Andy Samberg’s brief impersonation of Humphries made my heart smile, and I can watch this video over and over. For our Canadian friends who can’t watch Hulu, I apologize, but I urge you to just accept our eventual dominance.

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When attention whores are begging to be slapped around, it rarely benefits anyone. But now the Kardashians are bucking that trend, at least for one night. Why? Because it’s getting them press, of course.

In what might be the charity auction items of the year, the Kardashians are auctioning off the chance to be their opponents in a charity boxing match.

According to the auction website: “TKO Boxing and PR Entertainment, Inc presents the ‘Kardashian Charity Knock Out’. This is your chance to step into the ring and duke it out with your favorite Keeping up With The Kardashians cast member, Kim for a good cause. Kim, Khloe, Bruce, Rob, and Scott are looking for you to raise money for their favorite charity, The Dream Foundation. Winners will box the Kardashians cast at the Commerce Casino on November 3rd for a televised taping of ‘Keeping Up with The Kardashians.” –In Game Now.

Apparently, there are rules about requiring the winner to be within five pounds of the person he or she is fighting. But really, I’m surprised that Bruce Jenner, with his three facelifts and all, is getting into this thing. That poor nose of his would probably snap off if it was breathed on the wrong way.

Bruce Jenner, that deformed celebrity wannabe that nobody remembers actually won the decathlon in 1976, is getting some updates to the plastic surgery that Jenner has been ridiculed for over the last 25 years. Jenner’s chubby, equally camera-whorish stepdaughter Kim Kardashian weighed in on Bruce’s new look.

“Unfortunately, the result wasn’t what Bruce had hoped for and for years since then he has been the victim of cruel taunts from the media. Since he’s turning 60 in October, Bruce felt it was time to correct the mistakes made by the previous doctor so he went to a new doctor for a second facelift. The results are amazing! Bruce looks better than ever and he is extremely happy with the result.”

This time around the Olympian “just wanted to be more natural and refreshed,” adds a source.

The only thing more refreshing than a facelift? Not being Kim Kardashian’s stepfather.

|People, viaGameOn|