Back in April, two buddies decided over a few adult beverages that they wanted to have a little fun with the National Basketball Association and declare themselves eligible for the upcoming draft. It’s nothing that hasn’t been done before, but for some reason I get a kick out of it every time that someone does it, ever since a friend of mine did it in the months before we graduated high school.

(RELEVANT UPDATE: I knew I had read a similar story before, and apparently Maxim Magazine ran a story about an “average yutz” who went through the NBA Draft eligibility declaration process back in 1999. That I remembered even a hint of a Maxim article from that long ago means I wasn’t that bowled over by Melissa Joan Hart’s cover and spread.)

Except while some people might say, “Big deal, bros” to Nick Moran and Andrew Hunter for their joke, I tip my flat-billed cap with all the NBA team logos to them for not just making the joke but also taking it from coast-to-coast for the easy layup. Since receiving a letter from NBA Vice President Andy Taub, who informed them that because they graduated college in 2010 they’re actually free agents and are therefore ineligible for the NBA Draft on June 27, the friends have even created their own website called “We Declare”, hoping to catch the eye of… someone.

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This week’s one-man celebration of the greatest Spring Break moments takes us, fittingly, to Ft. Myers Beach, where people have been partying all this week in honor of the Florida Gulf Coast University Eagles. But this delightful moment takes us back to 2010, before FGCU was on the national radar and Ft. Myers Beach was just a place where angry white kids went to vent their frustrations.

Studying for med school was taking its toll on Tyler Roosevelt, so much that his roommate and best friend, Chipper Longbottom, was dying for Spring Break to arrive so they could leave Princeton for a few days and get a little R&R in down in the sun and sand of the quiet hamlet known as Ft. Myers Beach. Chipper, that nefarious prankster, hadn’t filled Tyler in on his Spring Break roadtrip plan as of yet, but soon enough they’d be doing what the state college kids referred to as “partaying”.

When Tyler returned from class that day, Chipper had left a present for him on his bed. “Whatever could this be,” Tyler thought to himself, examining the small-but-long package with the glittery bow. Carefully removing the wrapping paper, Tyler discovered that it was a bottle of spray suntan lotion. “Chipper, you scamp,” Tyler shouted across their dormitory residence, “what have you gotten us into?” Chipper just smiled, dangling the keys to his BMW X5 from his pointer finger, before finally shouting, “ROAD TRIP!”

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Yesterday, we pondered aloud whether or not Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson deserved to be taken seriously with his creative prom invitation to our beloved Kate Upton, and it appears that we came through for Jake, because she has responded to him.

The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Tweeted at Jake last night, telling him to call her Katie, which is just complete BS because we just try and try and try and try and all we get is “Please refer to her as the plaintiff”. So is she going to make Jake the coolest wealthy teenager among all of his wealthy classmates?

The answer is an incredible, resounding – probably not. UPDATE: Jesus, either Kate is incredibly sweet or she’s going to go through with this.

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Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson is a man with a dream. Well, technically he’s one of millions of men, ages 13 to 90, with a dream of wooing our favorite Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model and celebrity sports fan Kate Upton. Unfortunately, I think many of us – at least those of us in the non-psycho category – have realized that unless we can throw a 101-mph fastball through 9 innings and 110 pitches, we don’t stand much of a chance when it comes to stealing Upton’s heart.

But not being a Cy Young-winning pitcher won’t stand in Jake’s way, because he is staying the course in his desire to embarrass himself in Upton’s presence, as he recently recorded and posted a video dedicated to the two-time SI cover model, asking her to be his date to his prom.

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