Seeing as David Stern and the NBA prefer putting superstar-led teams on ESPN and TNT, and AT&T U-Verse doesn’t have NBA TV available for po’ folk like me, I don’t get to watch Javale McGee’s crazy ass play as much as I’d like to. So I have to depend on Twitter and the great Denver bloggers and writers that I follow to fill me in on the crazy things he says or does each week. It also helps that McGee has his own Twitter account, and his Goofus ways inspire a new meme practically every other week (see above).

But every once in a while, McGee stops sipping the crazy juice long enough to show a flash of brilliance that could be put in the shoe box of evidence that he uses to proclaim his status as one of the best centers in the NBA. Well, at least he’s paid like he believes that.

Last night was one of those brilliant moments, as McGee was on the receiving end of a ¾-court pass from Andre Miller for an alley-oop jam. Of course, the Nuggets lost to the Brooklyn Nets, 119-108, but it’s still nice that McGee flashed a little potential.

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You know the drill. Every Wednesday we collect four notable slam dunks from the last seven days of basketball and pit them against one another in the WEDNESDAY DUNK BATTLE. You watch the dunks, then scroll to the bottom and vote for your favorite. The winner is named the scientifically, democratically-decided Dunk Of The Week, which I assume wins them fame and prizes.

This week’s dunks:

1. Nick Young’s 360 dunk for the mild enjoyment of Sixers fans.
2. Pacific University’s awesomely-named Dustin Bowser catches a ball off the glass and sends his defender tumbling into a wall.
3. Kobe Bryant dunks on the Nets, but Kris Humphries is there, so we’ll just say he specifically dunked on Kris Humphries, because f**k Kris Humphries
4. Nate Robinson’s fast-forward dunk on the Bucks.

Please consult the following clips and make your decision below.

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At long last, Brooklyn Nets player of note Kris Humphries is returning to the world of comedy. You may remember him from his previous attempts at being funny, which include Funny Or Die’s ‘Kris Humphries Is A Douchebag’ and that time his wife got impregnated by Kanye West.

Humphries joins James Harden in a Super Bowl ad for Foot Locker that leaked (cough) today. Here’s the plot: James Harden is cool, and if you make him mad by rewearing a pair of shoes, he’ll force you to hang out with Kris Humphries. I don’t know.

CBS rejected a commercial for PornHub but lets Kris Humphries slide? Somebody at that network needs to get their priorities straight.

[h/t to everyone on Earth, and anyone with a television for the next 6-8 weeks]

It has been a few months since I was finally able to extinguish the last of my raging hatred of Dwight Howard for what he did to my beloved Orlando Magic, but I’m actually glad that I can look at him in a new, unbiased light. It wouldn’t be a typical NBA season if Howard’s people weren’t leaking his complaints to certain people in the “media” and, sure enough, ESPN reported this week that a Howard trade may be imminent.

While this has been corroborated by other people who claim to know – translated: they have Howard’s cousin’s email address – it was pretty much a done deal once everyone realized two things: 1) The Lakers just aren’t good with this old, injured lineup and 2) Howard still clearly wants to play in Brooklyn. However, much like he did with the Magic, Howard is doing his little song and dance routine with the Lakers by saying that he doesn’t want to be traded and will “bring it”.

Perhaps that has something to do with Nets star Deron Williams responding to the Howard rumors by saying that Brook Lopez won’t be going anywhere. Maybe it’s because he and Kobe Bryant got into it again in the locker room in a heated confrontation that they’ll probably deny again. Or maybe someone simply sat down with Howard, drew a bunch of zeroes on a piece of paper and told him what he’ll lose if he leaves L.A.

Like with his childish drama in Orlando, we probably won’t ever get a true story out of Howard for this case of déjà vu, but as an NBA expert and world famous analyst, I believe that the Lakers should trade Howard now. There are plenty of teams that can offer value, and I have broken down the Top 10 of those with proposed trades that are in no way mocking his value right now. Right, winking giraffe?

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Last week, we brought you news that Kanye West had announced during his concert in Atlantic City that he had indeed conceived a child in the maternal dungeon that is Kim Kardashian’s womb. And, of course, the sports-related part of that story is that Kardashian is still married to Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries, so I vaguely speculated that this development could have a huge impact on the couple’s neverending divorce proceedings that are already costing them millions of dollars.

As it turns out, we almost – almost – had a contender for the most ridiculously amazing story of the year, thanks to California paternity laws.

They’ve been separated for more than a year, but that don’t matter much in California, where the husband of a pregnant woman is PRESUMED to be the father.

Translation — Kris Humphries has the edge going in as Kim Kardashian’s baby daddy. If he were to lay claim to the kid, Kim and Kanye would have to present “clear and convincing evidence” to a judge that Kanye did the dirty. (Via TMZ)

Unfortunately, as awesome as it would be to see Humphries proclaim, “Hurrr, that’s my kid now” and force Kardashian and Kanye to publically describe their sexual conquest – I’m sure there’s a tape – it turns out that the rule isn’t that simple. Humphries and Kardashian would have to actually be living together in order for him to stake his derpy claim to the child.

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Great.

There was a rumor earlier this year that Kim Kardashian was pregnant with Kanye West’s baby, but everyone in her camp of evil harpies denied it because it would have meant that she had been sleeping with West while she was still “happily married” to Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries and then he could have taken her to court and shouted, “Hurrrrr, pay up, derp.” Well now it’s official – Kardashian is indeed preggers, as West announced the conception of the antichrist at his concert in Atlantic City last night.

West delivered the news to a crowd of 5,000 at the casino hotel’s Ovation Hall in song form: “Now you having my baby.”

The 35-year-old West told concertgoers to congratulate his “baby mom” and that this was the “most amazing thing” as the crowd roared

Kardashian confirmed the news a few hours later on her official site. (Via the New York Daily News)

And then somewhere, while perched atop her throne of devoured skulls, Kris Jenner shouted, “DAMN YOU, KANYE! THAT NEWS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOLD!” Then she rescheduled Kendall’s upcoming photoshoot with Penthouse, probably.

So what, then, does this mean for Humphries’ divorce, which has already famously cost a ton of money, as it has dragged on longer than his actual marriage to the woman who rose to fame for being Paris Hilton’s friend before releasing an amateur sex tape with Brandy’s brother and now pretends to be ashamed of that video even though she’s created an empire that endears toxic behavior and success without merit? *deep breath*

For an expert opinion, I turned to With Leather’s foremost legal authority, Danger Guerrero, who responded with this official insight…

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