A huge thank you to Nadia Chaudhury for capturing this amazing moment.

Back in May, we told you about the Brooklyn Cyclones’ incredible plan to celebrate America’s independence, by honoring the people who care the least about everything – hipsters. Dubbed “Williamsburg Night”, the event was supposed to feature a skinny jeans race and reward people with delightfully ironic beards. Unfortunately, the hipsters won by out-hipstering the Cyclones marketing team.

I was elated when my UPROXXian brother from another hipster mother, Josh Kurp, emailed to let me know he’d be attending Hipster Night last night. Sadly, as he explained via our amazing telekinetic powers, no hipsters really showed up. In fact, that picture above pretty much says it all. Just a few hipsters in their skinny jean shorts enjoying some hot dogs while ignoring organized sports.

As the rest of Williamsburg’s finest said last night, though, “Whatever.” We’re not going to let a poor turnout spoil the fun. With that, I present to you the first ever With Leather Hipster Sports Fan of the Year…

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WWE showed up at a Brooklyn Cyclones game to promote their “B.A. Star” anti-bullying campaign, and Sandy is the first ever non-human WWE Champion. Well, unless you count Brock Lesnar. (via Brooklyn Cyclones On Facebook)

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One of the first things that I plan to do whenever I eventually visit New York City for the first time ever is get 200 lap dances in a row at Rick’s Cabaret. But right after that, I’m going to Coney Island so I can fulfill my wildest hipster urges. Now, though, it appears that I may have to bump that trip up to the week of July 4th, because the Brooklyn Cyclones are hosting what sounds like the greatest promotional night of the year.

Dubbed Williamsburg Night, the Cyclones – playing in the Short-Season A Penn League – will be honoring New York City’s finest hipsters on July 5th with a variety of games and deals, including:

People in skinny jeans, running the bases. That’s all I need. I’d pay hundreds of dollars to witness that, especially since it will probably be 30 people huddled by home plate, smoking cigarettes and texting. After the game, a bar will also be hosting a skee ball tournament. This sounds like the greatest night ever. All that’s missing, aside from the 200 lap dances at Rick’s obviously, is me blasting all the hipsters into the Atlantic with a fire hose. A boy can dream.

The Brooklyn Cyclones, a Single-A Mets farm club and the first pro baseball team in Brooklyn since the Dodgers left, will host what will become the most popular minor league promotion in the borough’s history when they become the “Baracklyn” Cyclones for one night in June.  Here’s just part of what the club is offering:

-Alternate red, white, and blue jerseys adorned with the team’s new name
-FREE Barack Obama bobbleheads to the first 2,500 fans in attendance, featuring the President in a Baracklyn Cyclones Jersey
-The Economic Stimulus Package: From 10am on January 20th – Inauguration Day – to midnight on January 23rd, ticket prices for the June 23rd game will be “rolled back” to the Cyclones’ inaugural 2001 season rates: $10 Field Box Seats, $8 Box Seats, $5 Bleacher Seats. Beginning January 24th, tickets will be priced at the regular 2009 rates ($15, $12, $8)
-Universal Health Care: Free Band-Aids to the first 1,000 fans

I can’t even begin to describe the extent to which this is a wet dream for every set of parents in gentrified Brooklyn.  There are two staples of Brooklyn fashion: hooded sweatshirts that say “Brooklyn” (I own at least twelve), and anything with the word “Obama” on it.  They could sell those jerseys for $1000 apiece and they’d still sell out in 40 seconds.

[Curbed via Big League Stew]