I think we all need to take a seat, maybe form a circle and just relax for a few minutes. We get a little bit too crazy about sports sometimes, and we tend to overreact toward athletes and media analysts for their decisions and/or opinions. I mean, take Twitter, for example. Have you seen the horrible verbal venom that is spewed at famous people on that “social media” site on a daily basis? Hell, I’m as guilty as the next guy for making cracks at some athletes, but I’m talking about the violent threats.

It’s really getting out of hand, and it’s been spilling out into our stadiums and arenas now, ruining the idea of fun competition for everyone. What the hell’s the point of going to a game or a bar these days if you constantly have to look over your shoulder and wonder if someone is about to stab you? Sports are supposed to take our minds off the really sh*tty things in life and provide hope and inspiration. Instead, we have people slaughtering each other in the streets.

Everybody calm down and let’s remember why we’re here in the first place… to hope that the other team loses and pray for people to be fired. That’s what sports are all about, dang it.

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WILSONNNNN

WILSON I’M SORRY

(via Cosby Sweaters)

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Links

On The Saints, NFL Bounties And Finally Being Treated Like Regular Human Beings - I don’t know why everyone’s so upset about these NFL Bounties, I think having paper towels with Saints logos on them is awesome! *bicycle horn honk* [Smoking Section]

Gregg Williams Has Complex Homophobia - “AIDS Convention” is almost as ridiculous as “the jerk store”, but it sells more jerks. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Matches We Loved 2011: Part II - The #ddslove continues, and I’m actually in this one! Watch the clip of the match I picked to see someone kick so hard their kickpad flies off. [DirtyDirtySheets]

The Best Of ‘Community’s’ #Abed - Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool. [UPROXX]

The First Ten Minutes Of John Carter Are Kind Of Impressive - I kept expecting Bryan Cranston to roll over, grimace at the camera and yell “nobody’s in the theater, John!” [Gamma Squad]

Project X kid was in a Bang Bus movie - Living the dream. I can’t wait until my UPROXX bosses find out about the time I Pornhubbed Allie Sin. [Film Drunk]

Discussion and Poll: Has ‘The Walking Dead’ Earned Back Your Trust? - “And furthermore, what do you guys think about season 4 of Heroes?” [Warming Glow]

Christina Hendricks & Olivia Munn Are The Latest Celebs To Have Their Cell Phone Pics Surface On The Internet - Proud of myself for getting up a link to this story yesterday before anyone else on the network. Also, disappointed in myself for being so into celebrity nudity. [UPROXX]

25 People Who Think President Obama Killed Andrew Breitbart - “Colledge” says everything you need to know about these people. Obama’s the reason for these tornadoes breaking out, too. He has an evil tornado machine. [Buzzfeed]

The Live News Sexual Innuendo Supercut - Nudes at eleven. Er, I mean “news”! Heh! [HuffPost Comedy]

Watch Britney Spears’ Changing Face Through the Years - “Watch how stress, drugs and eating disorders make you look like a 50 year old women by the time you turn 28.” [The FW]

Five Brilliant Graphic Novels that Just Happen to Star Talking Animals - Real talk: We3 is right behind Watchmen as my favorite comic ever. If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and find it immediately. [Unreality]

Welcome to our mostly weekly video competition feature, Friday Face-Off, in which we pit two or more videos against each other for the purpose of determining which is the greatest video on the entire Internet that week. Most of the time they’ll involve animals or violence, which are both awesome. Feel free to submit videos to BurnsyWL@gmail.com and if your video wins, you’ll get a With Leather t-shirt like the one that Derrick Bateman wore on WWE NXT.

I’m going to start this week’s Friday Face-Off with a little open message to marketing teams for pro sports franchises: I know that it’s a very common practice – and generally just easy – to take popular viral videos and create team promotional materials out of them. For instance, if a ref makes a bad call, cue the Dramatic Chipmunk, or offer fans free t-shirts if they show up and put on a preseason pep rally flash mob. And that’s fine, because you don’t get paid much and people are easily amused, so it benefits everyone. Just keep stuff timely…

… Which segues nicely into the first video of today – Dallas Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki giving a dramatic reading of the Britney Spears hit, “Oops, I did it again.” It’s not the timeliest idea, but I’ll give the Mavs some credit – it’s still pretty damn funny. But does it stand up against some of the Internet’s greatest celebrity dramatic readings? You decide after the jump.

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With the NFL labor deal reportedly eminent, technically-unemployed football guys should be finishing up all the activities they’d get in trouble for otherwise. Case in point: this picture of Tennessee Titans wide receiver Kenny Britt on stage at a Britney Spears concert, being handcuffed to a chair and having his neck ridden by an oafish middle-aged woman. I’m not sure where Britney Spears was when this photo was taken, but I think she would’ve enjoyed it.

Here are two additional pictures, courtesy of Black Sports Online. Click for the larger versions.

Hopefully as the day goes on we’ll have more important football news to share, like the end of the lockout, or at least those pics of Dorin Dickerson being gay birthed from a colossal mirrorball cocoon at the Lady Gaga show.

[via Hot Clicks]

Hi everyone, this is special guest columnist LeBron James. I play of Miami Heat. I am barely read! Here are a bunch of links about me, LeBron James, and stay tuned for a sneak peak of my new cartoon “ProStars,” where Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Bo Jackson take a break from crime fighting to talk to each other at length about how great “King” LeBron “the King” James is. There are live action video bumpers for commercials. In one, Bo says he “knows” LeBron! LOL

I hope you like the basketball I’ve performed. Love, LeBron James. [dictated but not read]

Sports

LeBron James Spends Over $100,000 In Night Club - …complete with the receipt. This seems like an extravagant, arrogant thing to do, but it turns out the “night club” was a Six Flags and LeBron was just trying to order a burger and fries. [Urban Daily]

Anti-LeBron Billboard Erected in Chicago - As someone who spent a few years being made a “witness” by Cleveland’s obsession with colossal billboards, I appreciate Chicago’s efforts, even if it barely makes sense and looks like it was put together with the clip art and fonts available to the fat lady in Human Resources. Chicago! Beat LeBron! We have no opinion on the rest of the Heat. Love, Billboard. [Hoop Doctors]

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