In Touch magazine is “reporting” that New England Patriots “star” linebacker Bret Lockett is having an affair with Kim Kardashian, who recently said yes when New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries offered her the ring that E! bought. As an avid football fan, I can honestly say I’ve never heard of Lockett and I asked a few of my Pats friends and they had no clue who he is either. That’s because in two seasons since he was an undrafted free agent signed by the Cleveland Browns, he has 7 tackles. So yeah, In Touch, he’s a huge star.
A “friend” close to Lockett claims that he and Kardashian have had graphic sexting sessions recently even though she’s been dating Humphries, and if there’s one thing that we can all agree on it’s that a reality TV star whose rise to fame was instigated by the release of a sex tape that she made with an F-list rapper is always monogamous. The ladies at Jezebel did the dirty work of posting the alleged conversation between Lockett and Kardashian so I didn’t have to shame my family by opening an issue of In Touch. Brace yourselves, because it’s so hot that my pants melted.