My favorite part of NMA World Edition’s recap of the rising violence in the NHL Playoffs should be players drowning each other, morphing into literal devils and damage-dealing penguins (!) or attacking one another with rocket shoes, but it isn’t — it’s the fact that I guess Taiwanese animation doesn’t have a pre-rendered hockey helmet in their clip art so they just gave everybody motorcycle helmets. That’s amazing.

So yeah, here’s the blood and guts report from our favorite, barely-talented journalistic savants. Come for the fans high-fiving each other for getting hit with body parts, stay for the child-on-child violence.

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New York City's a pretty cool place. Sometimes you go to a reading and end up going to a gay bar with a gay NBA player, and sometimes you end up having nights way more gay than that. Check out this item from Page Six:

On Saturday night, [Lindsay Lohan and her friends] hit the Beatrice Inn before going to The Box at 1 a.m. – where Lohan got up on the stage and sang while doing a "stripper dance" to thunderous applause.

Yes. Good good. Go on.

She got off easy – after her, New York Ranger Brendan Shanahan was blindfolded and ball-gagged as trannies danced around him.

Thankfully, the Rangers are owned by MSG, which is known for its laissez-faire sexual harassment policies (I'm looking at you, Isiah Thomas and Rangers Skaters), that qualified as just another day at the office. In fact, it was probably some kind of promotion ceremony. I heard that when Isiah got named coach he had to eat a cherry out of Eddy Curry's navel. Word gets around.