Thiago da Silva, a second-divisione Brazilian soccer player, was tortured and murdered by assassins hired by his recently spurned ex-girlfriend and her aunt.  Yikes.

Before he passed away, da Silva was able to tell the police that he had fallen into a trap last Thursday evening, shortly after discussing the end of his relationship with his girlfriend, Alyne Padula.

The former Vasco player was overwhelmed by three people (including a member of the military police), all of whom are friends of the girl’s aunt. He was handcuffed, beaten and tortured. When he tried to flee he was hit by three bullets.

This is horrible.  Soccer players from South America should only ever be killed by angry fans.

Not to make light of a horrible situation, but I have to ask… So this girl, Alyne?  She’s single, Brazilian, and going to prison, right?  My God, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted!  Well, except for the vindictive murderer part.  But let’s face it, I could probably overlook that.

[The Beautiful Game; note: pictured girl is not a murderer... OR IS SHE???]

Today has been really slow and unsexy, so I figured this would be a good time to say, Hey, remember Bia and Branca?

Early this morning some other blogs were like "We did some research, and we think Bia and Branca might not be on the Brazilian Olympic team!!!"  Umm, no shit.  Sounds like the first post I wrote about them three days ago.  You know, the one where the first sentence began,

Bia and Branca Feres are not on Brazil's Olympic team this summer…

It was a pretty tough two minutes of research I did.  First I had to go to the Olympic athlete index.  Then I had to select "Brazil."  Then I saw only three synchronized swimmers on that page, and none of them were sexy twins.  So that was that.  But hey, great work, Woodward and Bernstein.  Way to blow the case wide open.  Maybe you can give us the inside scoop on where Brett Favre's gonna get traded, too.

Yesterday we met Bia and Branca Feres, the 20-year-old twins who compete on Brazil's national synchronized swimming team.  Today we take a look at their photo shoot and profile in Brazil's Paparazzo Magazine.  There's a lot to be learned about them.  For example, "Bia" is short for Beatriz.  Branca finds her computer indispensable, while Bia can't be without her cell phone (they're so different!).  I also learned that I really, really wish I spoke Portuguese.

Anyway, while you peruse the largest gallery ever compiled at With Leather, please remember that these young women are athletes first, and if you happen to find them attractive, that's okay because it raises the profile of synchronized swimming.  Really, they're just ambassadors of their sport.  Flexible Brazilian blond twin ambassadors.  My favorite kind.

(thanks, Machochip) 

Bia and Branca Feres are not on Brazil's Olympic team this summer, but they are accomplished synchronized swimmers at the national level.  The 20-year-old sisters are veterans of the Seattle Synchro club, where they swam during their tenure as foreign exchange students at Seattle's Roosevelt High School in '04-'05.  Somehow, I think I might look back on high school more fondly if there were more Brazilian twins in my memories.

Some more about Bia and Branca, from their MySpace page:

Heyyyy Guysssssss!! We are Bia and Branca from Rio de Janeiro, Brasil!! Soooooo…What should we say about usssssssssssss?? We are synchonized swimmers, we swims for the brazilian national team!!!! Thing´s that we can´t live without: *Each-other (we are best friends) *Good weather, with a lot of sun (It´s always good be tan) *Our Family and friends *Beaches (brazilian surfers are hot)lol! *Parties (nice musics to dance) *White Chocolat *Synchro Ohhhhhhhhhhh that´s enought….. If you want to know more… just ask ussssss….

Does anyone care that they talk like snakes?  Because I don't.  These girls could swim in a pool of cobra venom filled with rattlesnakes and I'd jump in naked. (Check With Leather tomorrow for more Bia and Branca.  Until then, enjoy a nice video after the jump.)

[Photos from VIP Magazine via Epic Carnival; video via Barstool Sports] 

"Welp, bummer about that Super Bowl, but I guess three outta four ain't bad.  I sure could use some cheering up, though.  Maybe I should ask my girlfriend, the Brazilian supermodel who happens to be the richest model in the world.

"Hey honey, can we go out tonight?  I feel like showing you off.  What's that?  A star-studded gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York?  Wellll…. okay.  But which tux should I wear — the Versace, Armani, or Calvin Klein?

"La la la, walking down the red carp– Oh hey Scarlett.  A threesome?  Sure, sounds cool.  Gisele's been wanting to do that for ages."

Marko Jaric is apparently the point guard for the Timberwolves.  I've only ever been familiar with his name as the last guy mentioned in a trade; he's the NBA equivalent of a player to be named later.  At least that was the case until the news surfaced that he's dating supermodel Adriana Lima (pictured here on the runway, backstage, and after the Victoria's Secret fashion show).  Once falsely accused of touching Derek Jeter's diseased phallus, Lima apparently likes Jaric enough to sit through T-wolves games, as she caught his game in Denver after Thanksgiving.

Teammate Mark Madsen spilled the beans on Jaric's relationship with Lima. "Ever since he started dating Adriana Lima, he's a new man," Madsen said, laughing. "He's flying all over the court. He dunked! I've never seen him dunk."

Jaric, who scored a season-high 21 points Monday during the Wolves' 103-94 win, took the teasing in stride. Asked if the relationship is the reason why he's playing better, he smiled and said: "Maybe that's the thing, I don't know."

No shit he's playing better than ever before.  Her vagina has powers that the world's greatest philosophers can only theorize about.  If I could have sex with her on a regular basis the crime rate in New York City would disappear and I'd find a cure for cancer in my spare time.  Except I'd probably spend all my spare time having sex with her, so… tough luck, cancer people.  At least the streets will be safe.