Ronaldo likey what he sees.

One of my 2013 New Year’s sports resolutions that I forgot to write about was more soccer coverage this year, because people seem to like soccer despite that whole not-using-your-hands thing. But hey, people also love women’s basketball, so what the hell do I know? Anyway, there’s a lot of buzz around the 2014 World Cup already, from Brazil actively promoting its diversity to American cities like Seattle and Denver trying to host qualifiers.

None of that matters, though, because it’s really boring and we’ve already been spoiled rotten by Brazil with the Miss Bum Bum Brasil Pageant and its incredibly sexy scandals, so it’s going to take a lot from those festive party animals to really grab our attention, and that was quick – Brazil’s prostitutes are learning English to prepare for the World Cup.

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I think this commercial works best if you go into it blind. It’s like the Cabin In The Woods of commercials. Watch it, experience it, then continue reading.

All good? So yeah, that’s UFC heavyweight Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira in a Brazilian motorcycle ad, and while my Portuguese is a little rusty, I’m going to say the point of it was, “you don’t feel masculine enough, so go buy a Honda, it will make strippers sit on you near a ring of metal and fire”. This is a great ad, because that is exactly what Honda motorcycles do.

It’s all in good fun, but I’ve got to be honest … that scene of Big Nog in nothing but shorts, rubbing lotion on the back of gloves reminded me a little too much of The Silence Of The Lambs. Maybe buying a Honda keeps you from tucking and dancing around to Q Lazzarus?

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Controversial Statement of the Day: Brazilian women are awesome. Stop it. Stop arguing with me. You cannot change my mind, no matter how hard you try. Why am I being so arrogant in my opinion? Because I discovered the Miss Bum Bum Brasil competition this week, and the way I look at competitions that feature very attractive women will forever be altered.

Now, my Portuguese is a little rusty, in that I don’t know any, so I had to depend on Google’s translation of the Bum Bum Brasil website to know what this contest is all about. So I’ll let the organization’s leaders explain:

In its second edition in Brazil, Miss Bottom 2012 will present the 27 candidates who will represent their states to choose the country’s most beautiful bottom. I wonder who gets this title?

Each year the competition gets more space in the media, in 2011 the model Rosana Ferreira took the title , second place with this presenter Graciella Carvalho who recently signed a contract with Multishow and “bronze medal” with this actress Mariana Freitas.

I think I get it so far. What else?

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I’ve always agreed with the popular belief that the Super Bowl should be regularly held in San Diego or Miami, because the weather is awesome and people would enjoy it more. Along the same brilliant lines of logic, I also believe that the Summer Olympics should always be held in places like Brazil, Brazil or Brazil, because…

*whistles, points up, winks*

Unfortunately, some Debbie Downers out there not only disagree with me about locale, as the 2012 games are in London, but now they’re also firing back at the best part of women’s volleyball – bikini wedgies.

Under new rules adopted by the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB), players are free to wear shorts and sleeved tops. The governing body said the move was made out of respect for the cultural beliefs of some of the dozens of countries still in contention to qualify for the games.

“Many of these countries have religious and cultural requirements, so the uniform needed to be more flexible,” FIVB spokesman Richard Baker told The Associated Press on Tuesday. (Via the HuffPo)

Look, I’m a modern dude, so I’m hip to the religious and cultural importance scene. So I’m here to offer you a deal, International Volleyball Federation. For every one female athlete that covers up, one has to wear less. Like, if America’s Logan Tom wanted to, she could totally dress like this…

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Two things we’ve learned so far at With Leather:

1. Anderson Silva is not afraid to insert himself into sexually confusing situations, be it singing a love song to a cheeseburger, threatening someone in a homosexual nightmare or tussling with a nude tribesman.

2. In Brazil they freaky with big ol’ booties.

So it should come as no surprise to you that the UFC Middleweight Champion would be called upon to judge a variety show competition ranking the best Brazilian booties. And they thongs? Blue, yellow, green and painted on. When that second lady turns around, it’s like Sherwin-Williams f**ked you in your eyes.

I don’t want to make any broad generalizations (no pun intended), but Anderson Silva might have the world’s best life.

[h/t Cage Potato]

Whaddya mean I’m probably the thousandth dweeb to use that tired old reference on the tubes since Rio was chosen as the site for the 2016 Olympics? Most of you young whippersnappers probably don’t even know who Duran Duran is, let alone have any knowledge of their sonic stylings from the 1980s. For instance, did you know that Duran Duran continues to be the preeminent band that uses the same word twice in their name? That’s right. Screw those Tora Tora and Talk Talk dorks. And what in the hell can the Yeah Yeah Yeahs be thinking? Duran Duran is where it’s at, my friends.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I thought for the first day of my second weekend keeping watch over With Leather, I would ease into the day like an old man into a nice warm bath. Nothing too thought-provoking, nothing too serious. Don’t worry, my dissertation regarding the BCS and its role in our country’s GNP will be coming later – stay tuned.

Moving on, apparently as Americans, we are supposed to feel discouraged and heartbroken about Chicago losing out on their Olympic bid. I’m sorry, but that is completely xenophobic and short-sighted. The Olympics are supposed to be a celebration of every nation’s inclusion in the global community, so instead of moping around feeling sorry for ourselves, how about we give Rio (and by extension, Brazil) their due credit and recognize the amazing country that Brazil is and all of the wonderful things the nation has contributed to the world?

For instance, did you know that Rio de Janeiro means “Rio of Janeiro” in Portuguese? Interesting, huh?

Enjoy the photos (and more!) after the jump.

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