Hockey Parents Continue To Be The Worst People Alive

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.25.13

While it’s no secret that parents of children who play sports may be the worst people in the history of this world or any other, those involved with youth hockey have been making a considerable push as of late to secure the title of Absolute Supreme Biggest A-Holes Parents Ever. First, there was that hockey coach who was recently jailed for tripping a 13-year old during the postgame handshakes, and then there was the dad who heckled a kid and threatened other parents in the stands, all while holding his youngest child.

Now, via Fark, comes a video of even more hockey parents starting fights at a game, this time during something called the Bantam C OMHA finals between Six Nations and Tweed on Saturday. My apologies if that’s incorrect, but none of what you’re about to read makes any sense to me.

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Let’s Break Down The Pacers-Warriors Fight

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.27.13

In boring NBA news, the Indiana Pacers defeated the Golden State Warriors 108-97 last night, and the most shocking thing about that game should have been that both the Pacers and Warriors are in the thick of the playoff hunt. Of course, the Pacers have it much easier, as they’re currently in second place in the Eastern Conference, 8 games ahead of the 8th seed Milwaukee Bucks, while the Warriors are clinging to a small lead over the Utah Jazz and Houston Rockets for the 6th seed, so they need every win they can get.

But we don’t give a crap about any of that because FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! With 6 minutes left in the game, Warriors forward David Lee and disgruntled former Entertainment 720 employee Roy Hibbert got into a heated shoving match. Somewhere, the scrapper formerly known as Ron Artest just shook his head and frowned.

Then everyone else got involved and the Pacers fans shouted a collective, “Why, I never!” What a terrible thing to happen on free monocle night.

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Good Morning, Here’s A Bench-Clearing AHL Brawl

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.21.13

The Grand Rapids Griffins and Rockford Ice Hogs had a bench-clearing AHL brawl for the ages, and it’s easily the best hockey fight you’ll ever see featuring a dozen dudes in pink sweaters. (via The Detroit Sports Site)

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AHL Brawl‘SNL’ Recap: Jennifer Lawrence And The Lumineers |Warming Glow|

Review: The Last Stand is the St. Anger of Schwarzenegger movies |Film Drunk|

Dave Grohl Jammed With Nirvana, Queens Of The Stone Age, Fleetwood Mac, Creedence Clearwater Revival Members |UPROXX|

The Best Questions And Most Ryan Lochte Responses From Ryan Lochte’s #AskLochte |With Leather|

10 RPGs To Look Forward To In 2013 |Gamma Squad|

Jerry Seinfeld’s Wife Loves Wale As Much As Wale Loves Jerry Seinfeld |Smoking Section|

The Ultimate Jim Harbaugh Meltdown |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Monday Sucks, So Here’s An SPHL Minor League Hockey Brawl

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.31.12

Because the NHL is never coming back, here’s … pretty much the entirety of the SPHL’s Huntsville Havoc and Mississippi Surge going ape and beating the shit out of each other. The video’s title is the funniest thing in the world to me, for some reason: Poor officiating leads to donnybrook in Huntsville! Yes, it sure does! (via Puck Daddy)

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Links

SPHL hockey brawlYour Guide To The Specials You Should Or Shouldn’t Watch On New Year’s Eve |Warming Glow|

The 12-ish Best Films Of 2012 |FilmDrunk|

A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay: Best of 2012 |Gamma Squad|

The Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling 12/27: The Styles Kaz |With Leather|

‘Wolverine Is On The Run From Gladiator’: A Very Succinct ‘Les Misérables’ Review |UPROXX|

Watch A Montage Of Music Greats We Lost In 2012 |UPROXX|

Real Talk: The 12 Best Albums Of 2012 |The Smoking Section|

Way To Go, Texans |KSK|

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Miley Cyrus Makes Her Junior Hockey Line Brawl & Goalie Fight Debut

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.26.12

SIJHL Goalie Fight Miley CyrusThe YouTube description for this video only gives you the basics:

Minnesota Wilderness and Thunder Bay North Stars square off.

Those team names are adorable. They’re like somebody made an SNES NHL game and couldn’t get the licensing rights to the teams, so they came up with ersatz clubs like the “Thunder Bay North Stars.”

Anyway, what the YouTube description leaves out are the wonderful details … the goalie’s existential reaction, the inevitable goalie fight (goalie fights are always the best) and the fact that midway through, for no possible reason, ‘Party In The USA’ by Miley Cyrus starts playing. Nothing says “SIJHL line brawl” quite the ballad of a girl being judged by her shoes!

If pro hockey wants to eliminate fighting, they should just stock up on Now That’s What I Call Music CDs and blare them whenever punches are thrown. I know I’d never want to start a fight if I knew ‘Tonight (I’m F**kin’ You)’ by Enrique Iglesias was gonna kick in and make me look like a creep.

[h/t to Puck Daddy]

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Does Anyone Really Win When Kris Humphries And Rajon Rondo Fight? Yes. Everyone.

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.29.12

Funny how just yesterday I was complaining that I needed something to jumpstart my NBA excitement, and then one of the greatest imaginable fights breaks out between two guys who couldn’t be more disliked. In one corner, wearing flat black and silver with an open mouth and confused face, Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries was last year’s most hated player in the NBA, according to fans. In the other corner, wearing green and the ugliest scowl this side of Rosie O’Donnell, Boston Celtics guard Rajon Rondo is universally loathed in every city not spelled B-O-S-T-O-N. And last night, they GOT. IT. ONNNNNNNNN!

The action took place in the second quarter, when Kevin Garnett, guarded by Humphries, took an off-balance shot and ended up on the floor. Rondo didn’t like that very much, so he reacted like an adult and shoved Humphries into the first row of courtside seats. Then, as any mature professional athlete would do, Rondo started scratching and clawing at Humphries while their teammates tried to break it up. Oh, and the Nets won 95-83. That should probably be mentioned.

Go make some popcorn and check out the video after the jump. All it’s missing is Brittney Palmer.

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